 Come. Please say "I'll come"...
You're far down a road where I should not, ought not, must not follow.
Your way, only yours.
I cannot close the gate, I shall not lock the door.
Once you were a stranger, Ellie. Once upon a time when that was then, but now that's changed,
I dare not, would not, will not lock you out again.
However sad, no dream is hollow.
Ω Ω Ω
Sometimes so wrong,
almost too hard to bear alone,
a fragmented heart fights with my head,
crystal shards, fiercer than diamond, stabbing, cutting, scratching
stone.
Our worlds, our own, each in our own, each to our private interlace
of universes, nothing shared.
I read your words, read them again, bleak beneath the smiling public face.
Then my verses
come unbidden,
weak lines, yes, but stronger than nightmares ridden
for far too long.
 Nerves of steel.
That's what they want, outside.
Iron, here, is otherwise; it fertilises.
Armour melts away from me. Dali clocks drip
to nothing. Tonight's
puddles
reflect an absent moon.
A ghost brings Asian asphodels,
neglected senses. Soon
the brazen host, spring daffodils
in early fall.
"Unwise! Too soon it rises,
before it's mended," a tall bloom whispers,
"untimely bells are clamouring for
silence."
Ω Ω Ω
 Venus smiles, she disappears behind that absent moon and Pluto nears.
Though warned of change, this "revolution", still I dread the notion.
Our souls estranged? I fear my fears, the enemies within.
Let no self-appointed preacher say such loving is a sin.
Any man who loves and flies but cannot reach her, his forever, tries to challenge deviant fate: hands, bone, naked skin and racing blood tear through time, sunder atoms, make of radiant skies eternal summers out of season.
Oh yes, the language of the heart should speak with reason, tempered by sense, take root in more than treacherous sand;
"Shakespeare," remembered, "said it all!"
And it will not. My trickster's heart denied your truths, seeing life in art, and cast out thought.
"Take fear," it thundered, "end it all. Open your eyes to know what's right."
Were these heart's lies?
When I surrendered, started to mend the wall, play the game by the rules, our normal, ordinary laws, life became so hard again...
My dangerous heart defies those codes, leaves me without intelligence, too distant from the brain that tells,
"Love you still, then love in vain."
I trace a new line on my hand, I don't know what it spells;
unexpected flowers are here.
Thus normal, ordinary wars break out in me, things slide apart.
Such secret struggles scare me, could being your friend prove too difficult? I took your being
for a revelation; I found instead a novel bend in that sign:
Revolution.
 Where I had hope, life becomes occult with shadows, but while I have a hand it must reach out.
The gate's wide open, a stargate now.
I cannot fathom why it leans this way, not that,
where thou are that, when all is one.
When the lightning's flashed and gone, times are less frightening
and what's undone may yet be set to mend a heart.
Just not the way that I had thought.
So what I wrought moves on anew. Now yang is yin; where claws were out and fangs were in, you remain, Ellie, fairest muse, surely a fine place to begin, where what I used and so abused has come together, quantum leapt.
Still then I'm woken where I slept.
Why do I fear winter so when all it takes is to let flow?
Your flight, my track, different roads, no looking back. While I don't know what loads they bring, I pray for light from fall to spring.
Ω Ω Ω
Can you relent then, Ellie,
However rarely, always welcome?
If I repent then, Ellie,
please say, sometimes, you'll come.
2:29:54 PM 
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