Sunday, July 06, 2003

Fooled even more Rereading my Visits to my Dream Studio, my recent suspicions are confirmed. I'd started wondering if my new, surprising priorities - upper body wellness, Pilates, Presence, observing nature - were real priorities or a sort of smokescreen thrown up between me and making art. (Yes, I've read The War of Art. So at least I got suspicious after a week or two instead of a few months.) My Older Self said, "The censor pops up between you and doing art, suggesting that you need to do something else other than art...." I had fallen (again) into the old Preparation Trap. This is the idea that in order to make art the way I want to make it, I need more preparation. This can lead to whole days spent doing relaxation exercises, meditations, fitness regimes, composition exercises, reading books on art, etc. etc. I'm sure we all have our own variations of the Preparation Trap. There's always enough truth to this to make it credible. "Gee, you're right, my artwork isn't quite perfect yet, so maybe I do need to do X and Y. It would be better in the long run...." And the Preparation activities are usually very helpful, constructive, healthy, wonderful things to do. The only problem is when they're set up BETWEEN the artist and making art. They're out of place. Their place, for the artist, is AROUND artmaking. My Older Self keeps assuring me that when artmaking is put first, "everything else" arranges itself naturally around the artmaking. As many of us know, when artmaking is not put first, it often dwindles away entirely. Well, at the rate I'm going, I'll be able to write a sort of Pilgrim's Progress of the Art Pilgrimage. I seem to have a knack for finding every pitfall and trap and obstacle. If it saves anyone else from finding them all out the hard way, that will be great. 5:10:45 PM    comment []

Quotes on creativity from my Older Self Today I started rereading some of my imaginary visits to my Dream Studio, where I can consult my Older Self. She's in her eighties at least, still going strong - radiant and fully alive, making art every day. Looking back at some of my questions and her replies, I began wondering why I keep looking for coaching anywhere else. Her answers are terrific! Here are some quotations from Older Cathy: "I don't listen to the news. The news of what flower is blooming today is more important." "I don't stop energy from flowing through me, so it doesn't accumulate as fat anywhere." "The time something takes doesn't matter that much. What matters is how alive I am as I make it. I prefer eternity to dollars per hour." "...I find that my work flows best when I'm not reading. It's as if not reading creates a vacuum, an open space, into which my own creativity flows. Whereas reading fills that space - often very nicely - with someone else's creativity." "Aliveness is at the center. And art is usually the most alive thing I want to do." "Any trap you make, you can escape." "A lot of your information clutter is about the past. As long as your resume is current, your finances current, your correspondence current - what more do you need?" "Trying to leave too many options open drains your energy. It's like leaving all the doors and windows open and wondering why the house doesn't get warm even with the heat on high." "You have to believe your life matters, that being alive now matters. Then making art naturally matters because it brings more aliveness." "Hurrying up and trying to earn your right to live, just makes your life a sort of living death." "Day off? Off from what? I want to be on, not off." 4:40:35 PM    comment []

Unifying Vision I've been exploring some of the resources at The Creative Seed website. This site is primarily for actors, but most of the coaching articles and tools apply as well to visual artists. Reading some of the articles inspired me to free-write a vision for myself: What comes to mind first - as the vision for my life? What comes to mind today is that my life is about fulfilling my creative potential. That’s not at all what I intended to say. I intended to say it’s about being fully alive and present, and embodying this aliveness in artwork that I make so it’s available to others as well. But maybe they’re both the same thing. I could say – that my vision is to fulfill my creative potential by making art that embodies aliveness, presence, creative power. In a sense – I could say that my life is really about creative power.             Specifically, my vision is to live a completely creative life – developing and using my creative power to create from my Deep Self.             I envision making bowls, collages, paintings, and cartoons – and studies and spinoffs from these works.             I envision making a pro-creative environment for my work and life – studio, home, total environment that enhances creative power.             I envision making relationships with other people and other beings that enhance the creative power of all.             That’s really what my life is about – enhancing the creative power in the world – by fulfilling my own creative power.   1:09:36 PM    comment []