I suspected that an emotional dark cloud was keeping me from feeling enthusiastic about anything yesterday. So this morning I worked for a while with the Loving What Is method of inquiring into my thoughts. Pretty soon I came to my belief that I dislike the way some family members manipulate other family members into doing what they want. I felt a lot of indignation and anger about it.
The last step in the four question process is called "turnarounds." One of my turnarounds was "I dislike the way I manipulate myself into doing what I want." At once I realized the truth of this. For two days or more I'd been trying to manipulate myself into starting new bowls, when my excitement was really for collage. Somehow this determination to make myself do this (to "keep on schedule") just departed. On the way up the path to the cabin for a snack, I thought about what I valued most - what success is for me. Isn't it to make whatever art I really want to make, and then sell it? So I can make more art? That's what's most important to me, not the specific kind of art I make.
After that, bowl ideas came to me effortlessly. Quickly I sketched out an idea I liked, saw some variations. The technical problems that seemed so daunting yesterday were solved. I got right into it.
Collage too? You bet. Loving what is? Good idea.
4:03:41 PM 
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