Dildos Are Making History
 Prostitution may be the oldest profession in the world but dildos are beating the hell out of it in the time-space continuum. According to some recent BBC news a 20cm-long, 3cm-wide stone object, which is dated to be about 28,000 years old, was buried in the famous Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm in the Swabian Jura.
You got it.
The now infamous object happens to be a formidable dildo made out of stone. "The prehistoric "tool" was reassembled from 14 fragments of siltstone", noted the article. It continues: 'Its life size suggests it may well have been used as a sex aid by its Ice Age makers, scientists report.'
"In addition to being a symbolic representation of male genitalia, it was also at times used for knapping flints," explained Professor Nicholas Conard, from the department of Early Prehistory and Quaternary Ecology, at Tübingen University.
Well, well, well. Professor Conard, care to explain what in the prehistoric world knapping flints means? A sexual ritual by which cavemen were hoping to entice their counterparts? An obscure, divine technique for arousing cavegirls' clits? An ass-slapping motion for declaring victory after a dispute over a cavewoman's quaternary hymen?
Professor Conard added "It's highly polished; it's clearly recognisable,"
You mean: it's been used by the entire tribe and nearby monkey-like relatives thousands of times.
The article went to say "Female representations with highly accentuated sexual attributes are very well documented at many sites, but male representations are very, very rare."
Current evidence indicates that the Swabian Jura of southwestern Germany was one of the central regions of cultural innovation after the arrival of modern humans in Europe some 40,000 years ago. The Hohle Fels phallus will go on show at Blaubeuren prehistoric museum in an exhibition called Ice Art - Clearly Male.
Learn from the wise men of the past here.
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