SEX TIP #10
Dear sex tip counselor,
I would like some advice about anal sex. I am having an affair with a guy with quite small penis so I thought it would be good to try it with him. I had tried once before but the guy could not get it in because he was too big.
Anyway it hurt and still the next day I felt pain "down there". He really liked it though and wants to do it at will now but the pain stops me from doing it. I enjoyed the fact he got off so much on it and that turned me on but I really don't like the pain.
Does it get easier? How many times before it does? Do you need to do it on a regular basis to stretch a bit?
I appreciate any help, thank you.
Wanting but doubting.
Dear Wanting but doubting,
Like anything else regarding sex, it should feel good! Unless you are into BDSM...and like it.
The fact that your 'big guy' doesn't care about your pain, does not bode well. You may enjoy the tremendous pleasure HE gets, but that is more related to a mental state of things than to a sensory situation. You only feel the pain.
Anal muscles can relax if 'treated' carefully, like licking the surrounding hole and playing with fingers around and inside the 'walls', but you have to have the right partner to do this, someone understanding not someone who blindly pushes ahead, not matter what. Typically, a tight anus is a tight anus and won't become bigger over time, except for the natural 'stretchness' it may gain as a result of 'time decay'.
The 'smaller guy' might be a good option, if this second lover of yours is of your interest AND if in addition, he cares about you. He might be a good option not because he is smaller, but because he might 'know' how to get you off during anal sex provided he is more considerate. The first guy seems more focused on his own pleasure. The second guy is still an untried mistery.
Remember, discomfort is not about sex and anal sex is as much about pleasure as vaginal or oral. If one day you happen to like it, really like it, you will have acquired one more ammo in your arsenal of orgasmic weapons. Enjoy, but don't push it! Anal sex is not for everyone and that is fine.
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9:55:33 PM 
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