drear bleakness reigns here in the heart of bienkedom where without the compensations of faith we exist pretty much at the whim of the dollar. an economy of whimsy can make do on little but it cannot make do on nothing.
"if i said 'i do not want to live', what would you say?"
"change towns?"
hysterical laughter greets my offering. we're walking the beagle down by the river late at night. it's not her suicide it's my suicide that is under discussion. the path of godless shamanism is the path of despair for sure children, i wouldn't be getting on it.
"if i said:"i do not want to live anymore' your response would be 'change towns'." tears run down her face.
"'change towns?' your response to 'i do not want to live anymore' is 'change towns?'" these are real tears folks and we're in the real world.
"it's a very american response." i say. "it would seem to be what has happened ever before."
we be in a place of languishment. becalmed in airless latitudes. i can't watch the t.v. even old hammers on t c m depress me.
expression always ends with me standing in a room screaming
seven healing commodities i should merchandise had i any wherewithal:
1. blue plastic ukulele, a surf and sand and go anywhere uke. an extreme ukulele.
2.
oh i'm too pitiful even for this.....
12:29:37 PM 
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