Here is the link to the story by Mr. Prince.
http://www.fwweekly.com/issues/2003-12-31/metropolis.html
Each and everyone of you should read this story. Mr. Prince writes in a fascinating, Texan weave and if that isn't enough to lure you to this story, there is the story itself. If someone doesn't do it first, the Luna Azul Foundation will try to get down to Texas to interview Ms. Webb with our new little tax write off, the digital minicam. However, we fear that Borinanada fine ecclectic knits and wollens will have to sell a few items first so that we can pay for the trip.
We'll summarize Ms. Joann Webb's trials and tribulations here, but do read the story. It features a fine picture of Ms. Webb and her legs, which are responsible for her excommunitation from the Baptist Church which she and her husband had been attending, as well as a Webb-based dress code at the local Chamber of Commerce on which she volunteered. Gosh folks, aren't Christianity and small town life wonderful? Isn't this the life to which all Americans truly aspire? Freedom of speech and religion and all that? We're so excited here, that we can't resist trying to copy the picture of Ms. Webb's legs and post it here right now. But we're resisting. As little as this blog offering is thus far, it has taken us a bit of time to type it up, and we don't want to lose it in our enthusiasm. So why don't you just go click on that link up there and take a look at Ms. Webb.
See?
Doesn't she look like a nice lady?
We are just hoping against hope that this goes to the supreme court and that Ms. Webb wins the day. The Texas Penal code is just embarrassing.
DILDOS IN AMERICA.
The porn industry is larger than the hollywood movie industry. Did you know that? What does that say about us . . . objectively, I mean. Largely a question of technology, really. Thomas Jefferson had a nice collection of pornographic books from his time in France don't you know. Porn is not new. We could even trace it, if we wanted to, for all those out there simply flagelating themselves with gasping delight over this book, The Da Vinci Code--don't buy this one folks if you are interested in reading anything that reads any better than your worst 10th grade history text in 1972; for any who have followed even the least little bit of Biblical history, or the Wiccan thingamabob, or any little tiny bit of feminist literature or even the King Arthur Cartoon Series, there is absolutely nothing new here. The show that the Captain of Deep Space Nine hosted on the History Channel about the Gnostic Gospels was far more interesting . . . but . . . for our readers for which this is a salient luscious lacivious literary delight . . . or for those on the other side who no doubt belive that this author Dan Brown is demon possessed (not true, the book would be far more interesting) the celebration of the sex act could be seen as a form of the ancient fertility rite, the Beltane Fires, that Star Trek Episode wherein everybody walked around with no emotion dressed like extras in Angel and the Badman, until, at the strike of the appoionted hour, they burst into a frenzy of orgiastic behaviour. For some reason Kirk and Spock thought they should stop this . . . much like the folks dealing with Ms. Webb.
Our point is this: Porn is not new. For our non-Christian types out there, nature must have created us with a need for visual stimuli so that we could perpetuate our pink and furless little species. For those Christian types, God doesn't make mistakes I believe. No doubt he created porn as a test or some such nonsense.
Porn is one of our primary type sources for Dildo research. When we were compiling our four hour blog on December 28th, for example, we found one of the few interesting sites out there on the history of dildos. It had many lovely reproductions of images--looked like 18th Century--of a genre called candlelight--in which candles were used as the item of insertion. Sadly, we did not bookmark this page and, as fun as it might seem to recreate this search of sex toy sites porn sites, it gets just too tedius after the first hour--a marker through which we have just passed.
Your basic timeline out there for the history of the Dildo goes something like this:
Ancient times--Greece, leather, wood, stone
Renaissance Italy--the diletto
Asia--Ben wa balls and so on
Victorian--pre-Freudian-histeria. Doctors grow fatigued massaging women's wombs all the time so to alleviate their general anxiety disorder, so they create mechanized versions. Some, steam powered. Wouldn't it have been easier to just write up a little manual to send home to husbands, butlers, or grooms so that this could be taken care of at home? Ah, but the medical profession then as now was always in search of a buck. Probably they could charge a pretty penny for a steam powered anxiety relieving session.
Modern times--the plethora is there for the asking, unless you're in Joann Webb's home town.
None of the sites below are very interesting, and just cause us to long for our original blog, filled with wit and better references to dildo history. But is is not to be, and one shouldn't, after all, cry too much over spilled milk. So we present this sampling. Most of the dildo history out there is from sex toy sales sites, and we're not advertising any of these sites here, just presenting a bit of the dreck that's out there. In general, the uk toy sites have better history pages than the American.
http://www.sexyshoppers.com/content/medieval-power-women.html--powerful women in Medieval History--nothing really about dildos here, but you do meet a few gals you'd forgotten about from that History of Western Civilization Class you slept through in your sophomore year. Come to think of it, most of these women weren't even mentioned in that class. It didn't focus much on women after all.
http://www.appleofeden.com/Merchant/historyofsex.htm--pretty dull, tries to present a history of sex in one page
http://www.hotadultstuff.com/dildohistory.html--some interesting old pictures
http://www.hotadultstuff.com/dildohistory.html--your basic history--Greece, Italy, 1800's steam powered and so on
Apparently there is a German rock group called Armageddon Dildos. This was a great disappointment to us. When we saw the title, we had high homes for some end of times Bushleague dildo information.
http://en2.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dildo--defines the dildo for you. Also links you to their summary of the merkin--a false vagina, which according to Wicipedia, men don't really enjoy all that much.
http://www.libidomag.com/nakedbrunch/archive/europorn02.html
We have to admit that we have learned some things about dildos that we didn't know, and we have recently subscribed to an online library from which we hope to glean more academic ideas on the subject. But as far as we can tell, the online listing is fairly bleak.
To try to liven this up somewhat, we will soon, possibly this afternoon, upload a painting of Quin's, or perhaps a few, which we are hoping to include in illustrations to this text. For the moment, we will post so that you can get started on the article by Mr. Jeff Prince.
3:24:44 PM 
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