3 days to go
Have you ever noticed how some people just have the knack for bringing trouble upon themseves and attracting criticism? Poor Berti really seems to suffer from this affliction and he has been in the headlines quite a bit over the last few days...
Berti bans baked beans. He's fed up with the fumes in the dressing room and has banned baked beans from the Scotland team's diet. But what about his own hot air?
No Charlie Nicholas. Meetings with renowned baked bean addict Charlie Nicholas have been outlawed in case he slips the players any contraband. But why is Berti's German compatriot Karl Heinz Ruminigge still allowed access to the team?
German humour outlawed. Players banned from contact with German humour to prevent it affecting team morale. Berti escorted from the training ground.
Scots go skinhead. Several Scottish players seen with skinheads after surreptitiously accessing German humour website.
Reports of German humour unfounded. Internet rumours of the discovery of German humour have proved to be false. In fact all links pointed to the same web page which was actually a site featuring hairdressing money saving tips.
9:20:11 PM 
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