This page is perpetually updated, just like my life and my stories.
Speaking of latrines, I cannot help but recollect here and now the most linguistically brilliant one I know.
It’s right here in "Malo Danto", which in translation from my-speak means "Bad Tooth"—the phonetically disguised name of my dear town and its beloved first rate university. To satisfy the curiosity of those of you in the know we'll just call it the Malo Danto University, located here in California (after all I am self-expressing myself here—aren' I?). Those of you who are not in the know will have to take my word for it—it’s a first rate university!
And here comes the first brilliant linguistic achievement on the wall of this most intellectual latrine: “Semper ubi sububi!” which of course means “Always wear underwear!” This is not your typical sophomoric oxymoron; it takes advanced learning to come up with such a pearl. Right underneath it thrones a fitting social humiliation rebuff produced by another brilliant scholar: “Graphito ergo scum”, meaning “If you do graffiti you are scum” in obvious competition with “Dubito ergo cogito, cogito ergo sum.” Why did Descartes ever do anything for posterity? What did posterity ever do for him?
1:22:20 AM 
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