200 WORDS OR LESS:
HAUNTED HOUSE (A FILTHY LIE)
Today's question comes from the book, "The Conversation Piece":
#288 How much money would a person have to pay you to spend one night alone in an old mansion that is supposedly haunted?
Actually, I did it for a dollar just last week. As I lay awake in the terrifying shadows...
Harv: This ain't so bad. Easiest buck I ever made.
Spectre: WHOOOoooOOO! WHOOOoooOOO! [*trip* CRASH!] OW! Stupid darkness!
Harv: Who's there?
Spectre: 'Tis I, Bob Marley. You will be visited by three ghosts tonight….
Harv: That was Jacob Marley, asshat, and... are you drinking a puppy shake?
Spectre: ...Crap. Ok, I'm the spirit of Evil Glenn.
Harv: You're... you're DEAD?
Spectre: What a bigoted thing to say! Just because I'm incorporeal, you automatically assume I'm dead. Animist!
Harv: Right. Sorry. So, what's your gig?
Spectre: I'm in league with Satan. In exchange for my already black and rotted soul, he gave me ultimate power over the blogosphere.
Harv: Old news, freakshow. Gimme something I can take to HQ.
Spectre: Isn't it obvious? I violate the sanctity of your home at an ungodly hour and I'm as annoying as a Frenchman at a UN Security Council meeting. Figure it out.
Harv: You're a TELEMARKETER?
Spectre: Reviewed your insurance needs, lately?
Harv: NOOOOOOOOO! No dollar is worth this! [flees in terror]
Evil Glenn is an insurance telemarketer. Spread the word.
Instapundo Delenda Est!
posted by Harvey at 9:17:24 PM permalink HOME