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Bad Money

  Sunday, November 23, 2003




Today's question comes from the book, "Romantic Questions" page 101:



#5 What is the best relationship advice you've ever gotten?



Well, about a dozen years back, my dad sat me down for a talk...


Dad: Son, it's about time I gave you some advice.


Harv: Yeah, dad, I know, "When bribing your way out of a speeding ticket, choose your twenty carefully." Got it.


Dad: No, son. There's certain things you need to know about... women.


Harv: Dad, I spent six years in the Navy, bought 200 hookers, and caught more STD's than Michael Moore has eaten cheeseburgers. I think I'm up to speed on the topic.


Dad: Well, so much for "raincoat your roscoe". But there's something else...


Harv: Yes?


Dad: You can forget your anniversary, you can forget her birthday, you can even tell her that she looks fat in that dress. Just donít forget the little man in the boat.


Harv: Huh?


Dad: You'll understand someday.


Harv: Uh... ok.


Dad: Well, goodnight.


Harv: Goodnight. Sleeping on the couch again tonight?


Dad: Actually, no. Which reminds me of some more advice.


Harv: What?


Dad: Lick the alphabet.


Harv: Huh?


Dad: You'll understand some day.



I understand now, and I tell ya, Sesame Street hasn't been the same since.


A - B - C - D...


Beloved Wife: Just get to the T's already!


posted by Harvey at 9:15:54 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME

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