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"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

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Bad Money

  Tuesday, December 30, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY


[This dollar is only for Rebecca Stevens. Becky lives in Alsip, IL (Chicagoland Area) - From Larry D. Hoogstraten]

Although Rebecca thought the dollar was a sweet & thoughtful gift, she decided to buy the lottery ticket for 2 reasons. First, she was having another one of her "really strong lucky hunches", and second, if she didn't do something to break his fool heart soon, she could end up as Rebecca Hoogstraten, doomed to a lifetime "how do you spell your last name?"

"UGH!", she thought. "One Loot Pursuit, please," she said to the pimply-faced counter-boy, "and HURRY!"


posted by Harvey at 9:58:20 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




  Monday, December 29, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Frank J. signs up yet another annoying, pop-up-ad-and-spam-delivering sponsor. A week later, as they filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy protection, they discovered why the "Create a Blogad for IMAO" page is the #1 Google hit for the search: "kiss of death".


posted by Harvey at 11:53:44 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Friday, December 26, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Contrary to the popular legend, Lincoln did NOT actually say this after coming off a three-day bender.

 


posted by Harvey at 10:58:42 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Thursday, December 25, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



[Be patient]

Don't argue with me, Susie, you picked this dollar fair & square. Now, do you want to play Doctor or not?

 


posted by Harvey at 11:10:44 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Tuesday, December 23, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



[Fuck America!]

John Kerry donated this bill to the Bush campaign as a joke.

The volunteer to whom he handed it gave it back to Mr. Kerry as a suppository.

 


posted by Harvey at 11:59:01 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Monday, December 22, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



"Excusez-moi, Mademoiselle, would you like to see Willy Wonder Wash's 'Wonder Willy'?"

 


posted by Harvey at 9:54:28 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Sunday, December 21, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Translation of Arabic at left: Please enter this bill at www.wheressaddam.com

(thanks to hM of homicidalManiak for the pic)

 


posted by Harvey at 7:16:53 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Friday, December 19, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

 

"Charlene season!"

"Wabbit season!"

"Charlene season!"

"Wabbit season!"

 


posted by Harvey at 11:16:52 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Thursday, December 18, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

 

[Beer can toss  Andy lost  6/20/02]

Matty O'Blackfive's greatest accomplishment since leaving the Army? Winning Timmy O'Toole's Annual Beer Can Toss contest, in which only himself and Andy were participants.

...Oh yes, and his 6 month Blogiversary.

 


posted by Harvey at 6:23:07 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Wednesday, December 17, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Of course, Susie prefers to think of it as, "aged to perfection, and ready for the Reddi-Wip".

 


posted by Harvey at 10:01:00 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Tuesday, December 16, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



You know that thing they say about Fortune Cookie fortunes? It works with Graffiti Currency, too.

 


posted by Harvey at 11:28:51 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Monday, December 15, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

 

From the book "Picking Up Chicks for Dummies", page 65:

"This one falls into the category of "cute" techniques. Although it's usually quite effective, it's important to keep in mind that the denomination of bill you use should be inversely proportional to the number of drinks your target has consumed."

 


posted by Harvey at 11:38:31 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Sunday, December 14, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Look! It's the ghost of a chance that the Democrats don't stand in 2004!

 


posted by Harvey at 9:14:43 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Saturday, December 13, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Sure, it looks like a toll-free number, but Dial-A-Slut actually charges $3.99 a minute, and those women at the other end of the line can't fake an orgasm to save their lives, so don't even bother calling this number...

... er... so I've been told...

 


posted by Harvey at 11:28:48 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Thursday, December 11, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



[Brians Lucky.  if you get this dollar then his luck has ran out.  So maybe it will bring good luck to you]

For example, you might NOT get torn apart by an angry albino gorilla like Brian did when HIS luck ran out.

(Thanks to the nameless host of Vigilance Matters for finding this one for me).

 


posted by Harvey at 9:36:58 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Wednesday, December 10, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Look, Matty, I don't mind that you're writing down the nuclear missle launch codes instead of memorizing them, but FOR GOD'S SAKE will you please stop leaving them in the Bartender's tip jar?

 


posted by Harvey at 11:49:12 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Tuesday, December 09, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Mike Tyson: 2010.

 


posted by Harvey at 11:49:21 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Monday, December 08, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



November 2, 2005: One year after Hillary lost the Presidential race in the first unanimous electoral college vote since George Washington was elected (due in part to her now-infamous "Of COURSE I'm a lesbian" speech), and 6 months after the bitter divorce proceedings ended, Bill Clinton, once the most powerful man in the world, was reduced to rubber-stamping currency for piece-rate wages.

Oddly, no one felt his pain.

 


posted by Harvey at 9:20:11 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Sunday, December 07, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Evil Glenn brand Puppy Shakes - on sale at Wal-Mart: 3 for $1

Now available in new low-calorie formula, too. Mix and match, limit 3 per customer.


posted by Harvey at 11:18:54 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Saturday, December 06, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



Obviously, the woman who wrote this is still single, because when you ask a woman to name a room in her house where she performs an unpleasant chore and which contains a large, noisy, smelly vibrating machine, the married ones usually answer "bedroom".

 

 


posted by Harvey at 6:33:12 AM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Thursday, December 04, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



The other $48,999,999 is buried under the Big W.

 


posted by Harvey at 5:58:03 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Wednesday, December 03, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



"Well," thought Bill Clinton to himself, "technically, stuffing this into an exotic dancer's g-string wouldn't meet the precise definition of spending..."

 


posted by Harvey at 10:42:10 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Tuesday, December 02, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

 

The League of Liberals offers their clearest and most concise arguments against the war in Iraq, as presented by a drunken baboon and/or Howard Dean.

 


posted by Harvey at 6:53:10 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME



  Monday, December 01, 2003


TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY



The monks of the Bat Nha Temple recently announced that enlightenment can now be purchased using Super Happy Lucky Fun Buddha Dollars.

 


posted by Harvey at 7:53:22 PM  permalink    Crappy Broken Radio Comments (do not use) [] trackback []  HOME




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