In order to answer the Alliance's Precision Guided Humor assignment question:
What award would you give Michael Moore?
I decided it to see what awards he already had before I started handing
out any new ones. So I snuck into his house and had a look around. I
found a few that you would expect him to have:
California Liar's Club "Filthy Liar of the Year Award"
The McDonald's "Burgermeister Award for Conspicuous Pig-like Overeating"
NAACP's "Stupid White Man Award"
and France's coveted "Medal of Odor"
Upon further investigation, I also found an entire shelf labeled "Ficticious Awards" which contained:
The Academy Award for Best Documentary
#1 on Mr. Blackwell's "Best Dressed List"
American Haberdasher's Association "Snazziest Hat Award"
Weight Watchers' "Dieter of the Year"
Gilette's "Cleanest Shave Award"
Dial Soap's "Health & Hygiene Award"
The National Rifle Association's "Second Amendment Freedom Trophy"
Republican National Comittee's "Conservative of the Year Award"
and the Nobel Prize for Literature.
I was so disgusted by what I found that I decided he needed one more
award. So, I hunted around the premises until I found him outside
pleasuring himself to barnyard porn, and I gave him the ClueBall Award.
That's where I take my ClueBat and smack his fat head clean over the fence.
Going... Going... Going... GONE!
No! Wait! Fan interference!
Damn. Oh well. Just wait 'till next year.
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!
posted by Harvey at 8:59:32 PM permalink HOME