PGH DONKTIONARY DEFINITIONS
My answers for this week's Precision Guided Humor assignment:
Write some definitions for the Donktionary.
Anti-American: Stifling the dissent of brave anti-war protesters by demonstrating their idiocy via facts or logic
Appeasement: The only effective strategy for dealing with terrorists
Bigotry: Speaking while white
Censorship: Not watching "Bowling for Columbine"
Diversity: Having every color of the rainbow in your organization. NOTE: White is not a color
Europe: Where to look for models of governmental wisdom. No fair asking why I don't just move there
Fox News: AAAAAHHHHH! Satan!
Fundamentalist: Dangerous, enthusiastic believer in the correctness of a religion. Islam doesn't count.
Halliburton: Evil corporate war profiteer
Jingoism: Saying "America" without spitting
Lie: see Fox News
Liberal: an inaccurate smear concocted by narrow-minded conservatives to describe "mainstream Americans"
Mainstream: the beliefs of average Americans, as reported by ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and the New York Times
NPR: Fair and balanced
Oil: Cause of war and environmental destruction. I just wish my Volkswagen didn't leak so much of it.
Patriot: One who points out the continuing deception of the un-elected Bush Adminstration
Quagmire: Any war not started by a Democratic president, except for Viet Nam, which John Kerry bravely served in.
Racism: Any opinion voiced by a damn cracker-ass honky.
Tolerance: Not immediately beating the crap out of any damn cracker-ass honky who starts spouting racism.
UN: Help us, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You are our only hope
Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Lies and the lying liars who tell them
Weapons of Mass Destruction: Nuclear, Biological, and Chemical weapons possessed by oppressive regimes not headed by
badly-moustached dictators - such as America.
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!
posted by Harvey at 6:13:51 PM permalink HOME