Its been really strange weather here today. It's really warm but we've been getting sun showers all day. Everything smells musty as the moisture evaporates almost as quickly as it fell.
Theres a nice Northerly breeze and I was about to go to Neale Park for a Kite Buggy but another shower just began. Instead I'll tell you a kite buggying story about Neale Park, golfers, and kite buggying.
I have a little on-going game with the golfers that use Neale Park for practise. They are unaware of this little game, but are participants none-the-less. As far as I'm aware golf practise is not allowed on the park. There are plenty of golf courses and driving ranges around but many choose to use the park anyway, and thats fine by me, as long as they look out for kite buggys. To be fair, I've never been hit by a ball and they always give way (some begrudgingly).
My little game involves collecting the golf balls they have hit, as I whizz by them in the buggy. It has to be done quickly and with enough stealth to leave the golfer completely unaware of his loss. It takes skill and timing to cleanly snatch a golf ball off the ground at 30kph or more, and do it smoothly enough so that the golfer does not see it. All they know is that when they get home their bucket of 30 balls, now only has 29 (or 27, or 25 on a good day). The game is easiest when the grass hasn't been mowed for a few weeks and the white clover flowers make it difficult for the golfer to tell how many balls he can see. Some of them use bright orange or yellow balls to combat this. These special coloured balls are worth double points and are the coveted prize of the kite-buggy-golf-ball-grabber.
Its not as easy as it sounds. First you must spot the golf balls, then pilot the buggy close enough to them to grab them, but not too close, so they pass directly under you, making them impossible to reach. There is a window of about 8 inches, to one side (the side away from the golfer) where retrieval is possible. Then there's the timing. At 30kph the snatch is very quick. To slow and your wrist gets bashed by the back axle. At 45kph the golf ball snatch is something a martial arts master could be proud of. "When you can snatch the golf ball from the grass at 50kph, you will be ready grasshopper."
The golfers do sometimes get suspicious. If I notice one eyeballing me after I have liberated a ball or two, I may resort to another method. This involves a two stage approach. First is to run the ball over with the buggy wheel, sinking it into the ground, making it almost impossible to see when the golfer is collecting his balls again. Then ball can then be retrieved later when he has moved on. This method however, is nowhere near as satisfying as the purist ball snatch.
I wonder if I could start a league for my game? Who knows, maybe the Kite Buggy Golf Ball Grab could be an Olympic event one day...
5:26:33 PM 
|
