Reflections of...
Listening to "Let It Be (Naked)," a holiday gift which has reunited me with these classic and timely lyrics:

Everybody had a hard year / Everybody had a good time

Everybody had a wet dream / Everybody saw the sun shine

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Everybody had a good year / Everybody let their hair down

Everybody pulled their socks up / Everybody put their foot down

Well, I guess I had a good year. Could have been better, could have been worse. In spite of some posted evidence to the contrary, I'm finishing ought-three a lot less obsessed with past mistakes, a lot more willing to pursue life beyond the work-eat-sleep cycle. I'm healthy and reasonably happy, and catching up with a lot that I missed over the time I kept a pillow over my head. Life is a thrill ride, keep your head and arms inside the car at all times. And I'm sure many serendipitous experiences await me in 2004, so bring 'em.

It's New Year's Eve... wheee. It's also my aunt's birthday, the one I traditionally forget until the last moment, so I'll once again be calling Indiana, apologizing to her for not sending a card, and trying to otherwise relate to my last surviving older relative as best as I can. My contacts with her always take on a brittle edge, because I "moved away from home" about 20 years ago, and we sadly don't have a lot in common these days. I can't relate to her small town, church bazaar news any more than she can relate to my east coast midlife crisis. To further clarify, I'm the first in the family line to have ever sought and obtained a divorce. We Adsits have been a traditionally stoic and dysfunctionally loyal clan, I guess, and I fucked that up somehow. My aunt and I love each other, we're supportive of one another, our interactions are just... sort of strained, I guess. But I'm lucky to have her and need to remind her of that.

Today's my last "use it or lose it" vacation day, so that works out well. I'm not in the mood to give any benefit due me back to my employer these days, especially since I was just screwed out of a bonus because of a lukewarm review there. And, as far as I can tell, that's the only reason I was reviewed so tepidly. Yep, I'm pushing 40, I'm making "too much money," and there's probably some hyper-enthused college kid waiting in the wings to take over from me for half the cost. Biz is biz. Employers aren't 'family' anymore, if they ever were. I don't bitch n' whine about work much, nor suffer it gladly from others, because the source of one's income ultimately remains of one's own choosing. If it's truly unbearable, I say find some testicular fortitude and make a new selection. If you're coasting to retirement and you're okay with that sense of security and complacency, good for you. But don't complain about how much it sucks for you. As for me, I'm fully prepared to move to Enseñada and sell T-shirts to tourists on the sidewalk, if that's my only option.

Tonight I celebrate, more than anything, the end of the holiday glut. My Thanksgiving was very low key, and I haven't done much since then, but I've had no shortage of time in which to do it. Am I the only one burned out by this surfeit of holidays? After all, we could all use a day off in a nice month, like April or September, but I digress. My hoopdy tonight will be spent with friends at First Night Worcester. I traditionally haven't gone out on this amateur night for drunks, preferring instead to spend it intimately, but that's not on the menu this year. And I've had more than enough of my own company, so I'll head east and see if I can find a shining star in the sky at the stroke o' twelve. At least there's no need for airspace restrictions over Worcester.

Whatever you're doing tonight to mark time's passage, I hope it's memorable to you for all the right reasons, and that you stay safe. And, if you're short on ideas for what to celebrate, consider this: The Can-Spam Act (a domestic component of the "War On Terror?") goes into effect tomorrow. I expect this will immediately and magically cut 97% of my in-box traffic. But where will I turn if I suddenly need drugs without prior prescriptions, enhancements to my sexual stamina, or a master's degree with no classroom required?

See you next year! 11:43:13 AM    comment []trackback []