Enough "reality" already!!!
Martha Stewart's not even been sentenced yet (though she hears that train a 'comin), and CBS is already scheming to replace her via a new reality series. So, who wants to be a domestic diva? You have two weeks to get your presentation materials together and FedEx'd to LA. I suggest you use a lot of soft lighting and cheesecloth strainers. Good luck!

For pointers, you might consult the contest that already ran on the Today Show. Katie and Matt awarded the title to an African-American man, based on viewer votes, over a month ago. I plan to try Wayne's guacamole recipe, myself. I once tried a Martha recipe for creme brulée and ended up with a sad vanilla flavored omelette, but it's harder to screw up mashed avocados, so my hopes are high.

If Martha gets liberal TV privileges at FCI Danbury, she'll be able to follow along, and perhaps vote via Cingular text messaging, for her replacement!

Think what you will of her methodology, Martha was able to create an omnivorous omnimedia empire out of a catering business. That took years of hard work, and a lot of it, particularly early on, was her own. If you think that's easy, consider that every town has at least a couple of caterers listed in the Yellow Pages. Arguably, most of their proprietors have the basic skill set to do everything that Martha does. So why aren't there dozens, nay, hundreds of Martha clones publishing magazines, producing syndicated television, and taking hurried calls from their brokers?

I contend it's because there's no "easy" route to entreprenurial success. If you're clever enough to come up with an original idea, are willing to work your ass off and half-starve while you forsake a "real job," knock on a lot of doors, do your own public relations and business networking, well then, you might have a shot at getting noticed. If the fickle forces of pop culture deem you good at what you do, or you strike a quirky chord of public sentiment, then the clock may start on your fifteen minutes. Once there, if you keep up the innovation (and the hard work), the spotlight may stay on you a bit longer. But there's no lazy way to the top.

At least, until "reality television" took hold of our network program schedules. Now all you have to do is show up at some shopping mall audition, and be willing to risk making a fool of yourself. These shows make it seem like anyone can shortcut their way to the top. Sometimes (as in the case of William Hung, even that can pay a dividend.

You'd think The Swan would have been the last straw for a lot of people. It certainly was for Amy, who recently sounded off to Entertainment Weekly about this "dangerously mysogynistic and self-hate promoting" show (they printed her letter- woot!- but them fools don't put readers' letters online). Plastic surgery is fun and easy, kids. There's no pain, no long-term side effects, no chance of an unfortunate error or surgical complications? Sign me up!

I have a somewhat different axe to grind about the reality genre. As a media moron and freelance "hobby" writer, I know these shows are foisted upon us because they're cheap to produce. It doesn't hurt that the viewing public eats them up like candy. As the doors open wider for Anyone who can Be Whatever The Hell They Want To Be, they close for those who conceptualize what we once called "quality television," scripted comedies and dramas involving professional production, writing and acting. That costs money. Using cable access production values for network television doesn't. And it never goes on strike.

Maybe Martha doesn't think so right now, and certainly her present circumstances are not by her own choice, but someday she may realize she went out on top, before "reality" set in. 10:38:26 AM    comment []trackback []