Teenaged Girls, Shoplifting and Blackmail
Well, it's certainly been an interesting couple of days. A little while ago, we found out that Iris and two of her friends had taken some make-up from one of the stores in town. Iris and Amanda got caught. The third friend, Jasmine, did not. When I said to Iris that we needed to tell Jasmine's mom what had happened, Iris freaked, saying Jasmine would never talk to her again if I did that.
Yesterday, I talked to Amanda's mom, and we both agreed it was important that we speak with Jasmine's mom. When we did, the mom refused to believe that Jasmine would ever do anything like that, and said that our two daughters were lying. When I pointed out that they had nothing to gain, and a lot to lose (their friendship with their best pal) by implicating her daughter, she refused to listen.
Then, a couple of hours later, Amanda changed her story and said that no, Jasmine did not steal.
By this point, I was very angry and frustrated, and I suspected blackmail. The four of us sat down last night and I asked to know once and for all what had really happened. It turned out Jasmine had indeed stolen and was making threats to her two friends if they told. The two girls reluctantly agreed to tell Jasmine's mom the truth, but they said they could not do it with Jasmine in the room because they felt they were betraying their best friend. Incredible how much power this kid has over them -- here's a girl who was willing to hang her two friends out to dry to save her own butt, and who was willing to let her mom think her friends were lying, but yet they were still willing to do what they could to remain loyal to her.
Last night I called Jasmine's mom to tell her the girls wanted to talk to her. When I explained they didn't want Jasmine there, she became very abusive, saying things like "Oh, so they can lie to me but they don't want to lie to Jasmine, is that it?" and "My Jasmine has been crying all night and wondering why her friends would be so cruel to her." She then started on a rant that basically revolved around Iris and Amanda being a bad influence on her perfect daughter. I finally lost it with her, and what ensued was a 10 minute screaming match. I was so angry I was shaking. The last time I lost my temper like that was with Joe, a very very long time ago.
We hung up the phone. My body was still vibrating ten minutes later, when the phone rang again. It was Jasmine's mom -- curtly telling me that Jasmine had confessed to stealing and that there would be no need for a meeting. CLICK. No apology. She didn't even sound embarassed by her behavior.
All of this, it seems, is the tip of the iceberg in terms of what's been going on in that classroom lately. I guess the majority of the kids have been shoplifting - peer pressure, dares, wanting to fit in....a familiar teenage recipe for disaster. The school is trying to deal with it. Meanwhile, I'm concerned about Jasmine retailiating against Iris and Amanda. God, why is the world of teenagers so riddled with landmines?
4:32:33 PM 
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