Donald Seger: Comrade Fidel

Travel to Cuba

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 13:03:58 GMT

Ah, so your Obama is lifting some travel restrictions to Cuba! Well, it sounds like it might work, but we've got to see how things play out. I'm dubious for now, but check with me later.

Reflections

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 16:11:52 GMT

Yes, I have been writing more in the newspapers here lately. I hope you enjoy my reflections!

Street Vendors and Taxi Cabs

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 15:35:03 GMT

Yes, our street vendors (merolicos) are a problem.* There are too many of them, and they begin to annoy people as they go about their daily business. Just like the taxi cab driver situation, this must be addressed. It has been suggested that I drive a cab for a few days, or perhaps hawk some wares on the streets of Havana in an attempt to more thoroughly understand the problem. This might happen. You never know.

*http://www.havanatimes.org/?p=7250

Transition

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 13:08:07 GMT

Yes, it is true. Many of my old friends are no longer in government. I appreciate their years of selfless devotion and hope and pray that their replacements will lead Cuba to new heights. Raul has an interesting manner about him in these things. We have to trust his judgment.

Also, it looks like our friends to the north are going to relax some travel restrictions and it is my hope that the sanctions placed on us so many years ago will be removed as well.

Am I me?

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 17:31:17 GMT

Some one of the people wrote me recently and asked if I was really the one doing this blog, am I really the one writing columns in the Cuban newspapers? Well, first of all, it's made plainly clear that this blog is a fantasy sort of... so you figure that out for yourself! And for the newspapers, well -- let me just say that I've got plenty of help, but while the words might not be exactly mine, the thoughts are.

And yes, my old friend from down south, Hugo Chavez, dropped by recently, and wished us well. I am so happy that he has won his election and that his power will likely go uncontested for many years.

And there was a photo published recently in a lot of newspapers that showed me and Argentine President Cristina Fernandez together. Yes, if it matters, that was me. And her. We are both very much alive if you know what I mean. Her friends call her Tina.

Damon Runyon

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:09:50 GMT

Well now -- our weekend trips to America this summer have been a lot of fun and I hope that you enjoy my reports. I am definitely getting interested in all things American and have been reading some old stuff that seemed popular in its day. I ran across an author by the name of Damon Runyon who interests me. He wrote lots of stuff out of New York City, of course, and that musical Guys and Dolls was made out of some of his writings. Here's a quote from him which I think shows you what he was about: The race may not always be to the swift nor the victory to the strong, but that's how you bet. Wow! That is really profound, don't you think?

Oh, and one more thing for this posting. I know nothing of this Russian Putin's recent comments about re-establishing a Soviet presence in Cuba. I repeat -- I know nothing about this. I'll have to ask Raul.

Strange Happenings

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:00:35 GMT

Updates: The guy never sent the cigar butt for DNA analysis, so I don't know what to think. See below.

And Maria came out to the estate yesterday (also see below), but the images that she told us about were pretty much faded and I couldn't really make out much from it. I just wish Carlos had had a digital camera on him, but he had one of the old fashioned ones that take film, and the lab ruined the entire roll. This is very disappointing to me.

Okay, believe this or not. My friend Carlos'* wife, Maria, was out at the beach this last weekend, wearing some sort of straw hat to shield her face from the Cuban sun. It turns out that there was a small hole in one side of the brim, and Maria -- who is light skinned and I suspect is not of true Cuban ancestry, but no matter -- now has a sunburn near her left temple that -- God help me but it is true -- appears to be a glorious hammer and sickle. Yes! Can you believe this? And with many of my fellow countrymen now planning for a fantastic celebration of our fiftieth year in power, well, you know that this is just incredible. I have not seen this image myself, of course, but we have invited the two of them out to the estate yet this week for photographs and such. I will let you know more, but is this not just the best news ever?

*Yes, he is the one who played that awful April Fools Day joke on me, but I have forgiven him.

One of the strangest things that has happened to me recently is I get a call from a guy who claims to have a collection of my cigar butts from various political speeches I have given in the past as a younger man. He says he has an even dozen of these butts that he keeps in a cigar box and he would like to bring them to the estate, meet me, and have me autograph the box to sort of document this collection. I am dumfounded by all this as they say. How do I know that they are really my cigar butts and how about the sanity of this person? I am happy of course that there is someone out there who admires me enough to save my cigar butts and want to meet me -- but I worry if he is telling the truth and if there are possibly other reasons why he wants to gain access to my estate.

He did contact me a second time, wanting to know when he could come for a visit. We stalled him while we did some investigation and one of my assistants said well why not have him send you one of these cigar butts and we could do a DNA test on it? Now I do not understand all of this scientific stuff, but it sounds like a good idea. This guy agreed to that and we are now awaiting the shipment of one of the cigar butts. We promised to take very good care of it you know and we do not wish to alienate someone who could be such a fan. Still, I am suspicious.

We're still waiting for that cigar butt to arrive you know. It has been a week or so and that guy promised to send it right away. What do you suppose has happened? Is he a fake, a flake, or what?

Oh, and for those of the people who know I write poetry and play a little guitar -- yes, the Castro Brothers Band from our youth is reuniting and I think we may do a date or two in the near future. It is good to have a hobby in retirement that provides fulfillment and soothes the soul you know. And when this happens, we will announce it in plenty of time for everyone to get a ticket. We will be playing some of your favorite songs from the early days of the Revolution like Bye Bye Batista*, and This is a Song About Che'* just to name a couple.

*Yes, these are real songs -- I wrote them so I ought to know.

American Cigars

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:00:54 GMT

Someone sent me a box of American cigars recently. Don't waste your time or money, please. While I appreciate the fact that I have many American friends, and they try to give me gifts to show respect, your cigars are just not very good believe me. Better to smoke weeds gathered from the ditches around Havana, wrap them up with twine and try to smoke those. I hope you know that I am not being unkind, only honest. And besides, the doctors do not want me to smoke anything. Better they not know what I do late at night when I am left alone.

And while we're at it, let me point out that some of Cuba's enemies have been circulating a photo of me supposedly smoking a Tiparillo cigar recently. This is a fake. First of all, as I have said I do not smoke American cigars, and secondly, I would never smoke a cigar with a plastic tip. That's not natural. And this product, well the last time I read its label it mentioned that there were non tobacco products mixed up in it. What kind of Norte Americano B.S. is this? I will sue those responsible for this outrageous slander that is for certain.

Another package of American cigars has arrived since I last posted. Did I not make myself perfectly clear on this? You would do better to wrap goat dung up in rotten sugar cane leaves, douse it with kerosene, and light it on fire.* I like the American people -- I just don't like your leaders or your cigars. Please, no more tobacco products. Although I might like to try a Camel cigarette again. It has been years.

*Editor's note -- do not actually try this.