Swings Both Ways

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 21:09:29 GMT

Swings Both Ways

Alas, poor Jeff Garcia has been given the boot from the Cleveland Browns after just one season. Fortunately, he has his girlfriend (Playboy Playmate of the Year Carmella DeCesare) to keep his spirits up. But are his spirits the only thing she's keeping...up?

Not only did Garcia have the misfortune to be cut from one of the worst NFL teams in the league last year, but he also had numerous rumors regarding his sexuality to contend with. (I mean, c'mon, he used to play for SAN FRANCISCO for God's sake!!)

Yet, Garcia isn't the only sports figure. Mike Piazza, of the NY Mets has been struggling throughout the past few seasons with reports that he, ahem, played for the other team. Ok, no more lame sports puns... Nevertheless, in January he married former Playboy Playmate and ex-"Baywatch" star Alicia Rickter.

Does any of this seem a tad bit coincidental?

I've met many a man in my short lifetime. Most memorable is Overcompensation Man. This guy wants to hit the strip club or Hooters at every given chance he gets. This guy brags about the notches on his bedpost in gory detail. This guy makes some sort of animal sound at every NBA cheerleader and girl in the toothpaste ad on TV. Overcompensation Man has so much insecurity about his sexual identity, he (let's say it together now,) overcompensates. He may wish to dabble in the love that dare not speak its name, he may not. Deep down, not even he is sure.

So are Garcia and Piazza that guy? Are they merely forming relationships with these women to quell rumors? It's hard to say.Although it has been recently reported that Tim Couch has married his long time ex-Playmate girlfriend, Heather Kozar. Publicly, there were never any rumblings regarding Couch's sexual preferences. Maybe Playmates just have a thing for washed up Browns' quarterbacks...

Stephen Faulstich: Jess Sez

Swings Both Ways