Stephen Faulstich: Polemics

Yojimmy Battles the Pink Rabbits

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 00:10:14 GMT

TIM:: There he is!
ARTHUR:: Where?
TIM:: There!
ARTHUR:
What, behind the rabbit?
TIM:: It is the rabbit.
ARTHUR:: You silly sod!
TIM:: What?
ARTHUR:: You got us all worked up!
TIM:: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit!
ARTHUR:: Ohh.
TIM:: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
ROBIN:: You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared!
TIM:: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!

This week saw the dedication of the third of our most powerful submarines in

the U.S. fleet, the Seawolf class. Named for a former nuke, the USS Jimmy Carter

is specially outfitted with a hull extension allowing for spy and special

operations missions. The reason I inkoved Monte Python (if the internet is now

so non-geek that I need a reason) is to remind and educate you of a more

recent naval battle won by president Carter. In April of 1979 the president was met

with an unusual occurance, alone on a canoe. The Washington Post summed up

the story as follows:

While home fishing in Georgia during a summer when his popularity was at low

tide, President Jimmy Carter's small boat was "attacked" by a mysterious

swimming rabbit, which the president warded off with a paddle. Once leaked into

print by Brooks Jackson of the Associated Press, the bizarre story captured the

press's and the public's imagination, becoming a metaphor for Carter's hapless,

enfeebled presidency. The incident encouraged Massachusetts Sen. Edward M.

Kennedy's primary challenge to Carter's renomination, and it became a symbolic

preamble to Carter's landslide loss in November 1980.

With nuclear war with the Ruskies on the line, stagflation choking the American

economy, and the Islamic revolution in Iran (oil embargo, hostages), president Carter

had defeated a bunny. This anecdote alone should serve as a reminder that nice guys

should never be Commander in Chief. For that matter they shouldn't be your stock broker,

your lawyer,or your mountain climbing instructor. Nice people avoid conflict when it is

the best resolution to a problem, even when it is the only way out of a problem. Nice

people don't like to correct others or to argue, even if they believe passionately in

their argument. Nice people are not always nice: How often have you heard that ominous

preface "he's a nice guy, but... "?

Why president Carter thought he was under seige from a paddling rodent is unknown. Perhaps,

holding the highest office in the land during times Confucius would call interesting, required a physical

release of all that psychic pressure, compunded by the burden of always having to appear "nice."

As the USS Jimmy Carter finishes sea trials and enters into comissioned service in

defense of the United States, pray those giving the orders are those detail

oriented, compulsive, gruff, workaholic jerks; men and women with no fear of doling

out tough news, or amphibious rabbits.

The Greatest Scandal in the History of the World

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 23:10:38 GMT

In last Thursday's Wall Street Journal you'll find an editorial by Paul A. Volcker, the former head of the Federal Reserve and chairman of the independent Inquiry Committee into the United Nation's Oil for Food Program. He writes about the Committee's release of its first Interim Report. He writes that the report's conclusions "do not make for pleasant reading." It may be only the initial report, but he is clearly pessimistic about what has been found so far. While he goes into little detail, citing pending investigations into Kofi Annan, his son, Kojo, and the Executive Director of Oil for Food Benon Sevan, he does hint at the corruption being uncovered. Volcker laments that, "The evidence is conclusive that Mr. Sevan ...placed himself in an irreconcilable conflict of interest, in violation of both specific united nations rules and of the broad responsibility of an international civil servant to adhere to the highest standards of trust and integrity." Ominous words from a a man not prone to hyperbole.

The report was released Thusrsday to Kofi at 11am EST, and then publicly four hours thereafter. Earlier this year the Committee released internal audits showing how millions of dollars meant to go for food and medicine for the Iraqi people were instead wasted on mismanagement and corrupt over payments. During the late 90's when the Oil for Food Program was being implemented, many on the left had cried for an end to it stating that its implementation was killing thousands of children in Iraq through starvation and inadequate healthcare. In truth, even with the corruption Saddam was able to siphon off most of the money for his own uses, with the assistance of corrupt oil businessmen and bureaucrats.

In January Samir A. Vincent, a naturalized American citizen, was convicted of four counts relating to the Oil for Food scandal for taking money from Iraq in order to lobby the U.S. to drop the sanctions, fraud, conspiring with another government without registering, and tax evasion. He earned between 3$ and 5$ million dollars doing the work that liberals, socialists, commies, and greens were doing on Saddam's behalf for free. Saddam was building gaudy palaces with the money, leaving his people to suffer horribly, and a few criminals, like Samir and those soon to be revealed by Volcker's committee, went along for the blood-money ride.

The sanctions on Iraq, and the Oil for Food program amending them, were designed to constrain a diabolic, vicious, and unpredictable dictator. Had the U.N. lived up to its obligations and properly enforced and audited the transactions perhaps they would have worked. Instead, we will likely soon have evidence that the organization that appoints Sudan to the Commission on Human Rights, was apart to the greatest fraud in the history of the world. Billions of dollars, and untold thousands of lives were wasted on greed, incompetence, and sloth.

Dumbfuckistan

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 01:39:40 GMT

John Belushi, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman and his wife... Saturday Night Live has had more drug tragedies than any show on television and never once made a public statement about it or taken corrective action. The source of problem is obvious: their talent source Chicago's Second City. In addition to those named above, Second city was also a big break for such junkies as Robin Williams and Robert Downey, Jr. For years NCB and Loren Michaels have made a fine profit off the eccentric comedy these peoples drug ruled minds created. And although they never accepted any responsibility or took any action to help their performers and the culture of SNL, they at least had the decency to never make jokes at their expense.

Last Saturday's SNL, a politically slanted parody of the claymation classic 'Rudolph' depicted a Santa angry at "the red states" whom he labeled "dumbfuskistan", informing Rudolph that "Trailer parks don't have chimneys". During the bit conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh, who in the past year admitted to an addiction to prescription pain meds and entered rehab, was shown passed out on the floor of a bathroom, covered in vomit, laying amongst pills and med containers.

Who thought this was funny? In fact, the whole skit lacked for laughs. Some may of guffawed at the mention of dumbfuckistan and the bigoted descriptions of "red states" (speaking of which, compare Ohio to, say the 99.9% of Illinois that isn't Chicago) as trailer parks, but even they couldn't of found much more in it to enjoy. Instead of giving most of the nations children presents, Santa decides to instead kill time by hanging out in New York. If you could fly any where in the world and hang out with any liberals you wanted, who would you choose? Willie Nelson? Jimmy Buffet? Bill Clinton? The writers instead to show Santa chilling with a group about as funny and fun as a drunk doing Switchfoot on Karaoke. They included; Margret Cho, a woman who has made a career doing Charlie Chan voices under the over that they are impressions of her grandmother; Al Franken, the author of, "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot" and who got as few laughs as a clay puppet as he did for years on SNL; a woman who looked a bit like Maureen Dowd; and Moby. Why the fuck would Santa be with these downers on Christmas? Even Santa, who kept implying that Moby was gay, seemed uncertain.

Yeah, Moby trying to convince Santa he wasn't gay was a bit amusing, but that was about it. The point is there are limits to good taste, and depicting a former drug addict as dead simply because you hold antipodal political opinions is tactless and like much of SLN these days, lacking humor.

Schadenfreude

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 00:14:27 GMT

The misery of others (and funny pics) in this new story

End of the Jinxes?

Mon, 01 Nov 2004 15:39:13 GMT

Will this year be the end of the Halloween mask or Redskins jinx?

Read on...

Election Whores Do Battle

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 04:46:39 GMT

Florida, the attention whore of the United States, has returned to old form....

Read on...

NAACP NVF Buys Votes With Crack

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 13:50:59 GMT

A man from the Toledo area has been arrested on suspicion he committed gross voter fraud in exchange for crack cocaine. The man, Chad Stanton, 22, was working with Georgianne Pitts of the NAACP National Voter Fund. Over 100 fraudulent...

Read on...

Schroder Backs Bush

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 22:53:34 GMT

Rick (Ricky) Schroder called me yesterday. He told me to support Bush becuase the Democrats will take away my guns. I dont have any guns, but if the kid from Silver Spoons says Bush needs my support, I'm convinced. If your not, try The List: a complilation of the multitude of celebs backing John Kerry.

That is life in Ohio in the climaxing days before the November election. We have all sorts of B-list celebs shaking hands and making phone calls. Will all their pandering change buckeye minds? Doubtful. But they think it will, and that is the most important thing of all.

Doubtless Dan

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 22:45:04 GMT

In 1988 CBS ran an hour-long special entitled "The Wall Within”, hosted by Dan Rather. It documented the troubled lives of six Vietnam vets as they faced drug use, alcoholism, depression, homelessness, unemployment, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, etc. One soldier, Steve Southards claimed he was “one of the highest trained, underpaid, eighteen-cent-an-hour assassins ever put together by a team of people who knew exactly what they were looking for.”

Read on...

Slothrop's Dream Breaks a Tiny Bit of News

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 22:44:26 GMT

After reading a headline declaring an independent analysis had concluded the memos brought forth by CBS as legit, I went snooping to find the source. Read how I uncovered the author as a left-leaning professor and Kerry contributor, and how the report is a smoke screen for CBS...

Who Let the Cat In

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 22:54:25 GMT

In this post-9/11 world, the United States and her allies are, we are told, on high alert. After being struck by our own planes at the hands of killers that, according to the law, should not of been in the country, airport security is said to be our highest priority. Keeping those who would harm us out is the first defense. Things are not as secure as we would like, however.

Youth Wasted

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 19:57:42 GMT

It's the Sunday before the beginning of the Republican Convention in New York. At the moment C-SPAN is carrying live coverage of protesters marching in from of Madison Square Garden. As the throngs pass by signage reading "FOX News: America's News Channel" people break into a chorus of "FOX News sucks" and "FOX News lies". The usual bad puppets, rainbow flags and colorful abbreviations (Mothers in pink lettered shirts reading "MOB", presumably Mothers Opposing Bush, but from the looks perhaps also against brassieres) saunter by, their messages a myriad of far-left rhetoric with little central theme beyond great distaste for the current leadership.

Its 3:00 now and a paper mache dragon was just set ablaze on a city street. City firefighters, heroes of Sept 11th, were resourced to put out protesters handiwork. I don't know if the arsonists were caught. If not, it is likely they employed some of the fugitive escape tactics advised on anarchist website nyc.indymedia.org:

Don't waste your psychic energy fretting about the police. Keep sober. Plan your range of action and do it. Don't waste time on DTs (undercover cops) except to try and lose them. Invisible Bloc tactics of "everybody in khakis" is really only for those who plan direct actions. If you are a radial, don't wear the subculture uniform that says to police: Arrest that guy. Layer. Do not wear a scarf, but keep it in your pocket. Wear a baseball cap.

4) If you are personally targeted: duck down, move quickly through the crowd while taking off your over shirt and putting on/taking off your hat. You will lose a tail/snatch squad like this.

They have the resources to arrest up to a thousand people a day, but even still, that will not be enough to stop the protests.

5) Do not engage in property destruction of small businesses. Many of them are with us and small merchants are not the problem. No group of any kind has called for this and virtually all have strongly urged not just restraint, but a populist orientation that takes the majority of the population with us.

Nice to see that at least the small businesses are given deference from violence in this public document. Overall the protesters are voicing anger claim to not be against the President, but instead against "the 'Bush agenda'". This is because Kerry "has effectively endorsed that agenda including the war, 'free trade' and a domestic prison state". Funny though, I didn't see these protests in Boston.

There are lots of Nadar signs out, and almost no Kerry/Edwards placards. This is in part because the marchers are mostly cynical, radicalized youth that feel isolated and disenfranchised. Neither party appeals but the one to complain to is the one in power. The other reason there are few signs for the Democratic nominee is one of political strategy. Party guys do not want a week of protests --some which may turn violent-- to reflect back upon the party. They are encouraging therefore people to refrain from attending protests and especially from brandishing Kerry symbols.

Just found some good video here.

The protesters will do more then march the streets; they have set up plans to harass delegates everywhere they go. Schedules of delegates events, methods by which to identify them, and even the release of the names and other personal information of every delegate (currently under investigation by the Justice Department) have been posted on the web for anyone "to use in whatever way they see fit". This is more than protest; its stalking, harassment, and a public disturbance. Even if there was one unified message being voiced, these nefarious methods would undercut any credibility it would be given. Not that they ever would. There are so many different organizations, collectives, and cells on display, it seems that there is a unique group for every third person. Of course if what any one group was saying were a realistic alternative to, for example, the occupation of Iraq, as to require resorts to violence and stalking to get it out, they would get more than 10 people to agree on it.

Then again these demonstrations have nothing to do with the issues. The adolescents of all ages marching in NY this week will tell you how "stupid" and "evil" the current leadership is, but never tell you what they would do in their staid. These children who likely don't even believe in private property, let alone possess any, are the reasons that our wise founders barred the unlanded from the franchise. Voting based on the principal "adults are jerks" is dangerous. More so because the zeitgeist of the moment holds protest and the physical act of casting a vote, informed only by emotion (what one "feels") to be popular, and even lauded. These jeopardous actions, far from the duties of a good citizen, in fact do damage by choosing charisma over wisdom, passion over reserve, ideologues over open minds. It is better that one stays home then to cast an uninformed vote. But thinking is hard. Burning a paper maché dragon, making out with your queer lover, or calling someone "stupid" are easy, everyman activites, no matter how many brain cells have been burned on weed and e.

Moore Lies

Thu, 29 Jul 2004 01:38:22 GMT

How the leader of the Senate Democrats exposed another whopper

WFB vs Ron Jr.

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 03:23:02 GMT

The founder of modern American conservatism takes on a wayward son.

Remember When

Mon, 26 Jul 2004 14:25:07 GMT

Ever wonder what sports columnists think of politicians who conjure up sports memories to paint their millionaire, ivy league selves as somehow relating to the common man? In an article for ESPN.com legendary sports journalist and Bostonian Peter Gammons weighs in on John Kerry's attempts in the vein:

We have been led to cynically believe that many politicians are disingenuous and generally phony, but few will ever beat Massachusetts Senator John Kerry. This man, who changed his middle initial to be JFK and at an anti-Vietnam rally threw someone else's medals into the water, made a self-promotion appearance with Boston talk-show maven Eddie Andelman and claimed he was a big Red Sox fan from his days growing up in Groton, Mass. And at the promotion he said Eddie Yost was his favorite player.

The problem with that is just the simple fact that Eddie Yost never played for the Red Sox.

On Sunday, Kerry made a ”surprise” stop in Boston to throw out the first pitch at the Red Sox-Yankees game. He continued to affect the air of a Bo Sox fan “''The idea of missing a Yankees-Red Sox series right before a convention week was not acceptable, so we changed the policy.'' Putting aside “the policy” element, who does Kerry think he is fooling? In another piece Gammons shows an alacrity for political punditry commenting that Kerry is “going to get 70 percent of the vote in Massachusetts. He doesn't have to be a Red Sox fan, all he has to do is not be John Ashcroft."
If voters really do vote on the basis of who is a bigger baseball fan, and I think it cynical to believe the electorate so simple, then Kerry is definitely in trouble.

New Bible Promotes Dipping

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 05:03:37 GMT

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: [It is] good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."

(1 Corinthians 7:1-2, The King James Version)

Some of you think the best way to cope with sex is for men and women to keep right away from each other. That is more likely to lead to sexual offenses. My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner.

(1 Corinthians 7:1-2, The One Translation )

The Anglican church refuses to die a slow death; instead she now stabs at her body to bring more rapidly the end. Relativist cowards, hateful of judgement and tradition are the hands that grip the blade.

The end will be unannounced. Radicals, despite their loathing for her, will in the most despicable act of all don her splendor, take her name, and besmirch its goodness spouting heresy to the masses. They will, in a classic fallacy, assume the world to be as weak as themselves and thereby able to justify the crime. In this assumption, for all their victories up to the present, the apostates are wrong. It will not require guidance from the ethereal, to see through this modern day Claudius. The corruption is as plain as the transformation of meaning and soiling of language in the second translation above.

The verse comes from The One Translation of the Bible by a former Baptist minister, John Henson. Rowen Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury has called it, revealingly, a book of "extraordinary power". It is, according to the ONE For Christian Renewal website, "what Christian language would sound like, if we really tried to screen out the stale, the technical, the unconsciously exclusive words and policies, and to hear for the first time what the Christian Scriptures were saying". The word "baptism" is changed to "dip", Saint Peter becomes "Rocky" and parables are now "riddles". To read it as a serious tome must take great faith. Another example shows how trying the task:

John the baptizer appeared in the wilderness, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.

(Mark 1:4, Revised Standard Version)

John, nicknamed ‘The Dipper’, was ‘The Voice’. He was in the desert, inviting people to be dipped, to show they were determined to change their ways and wanted to be forgiven.”

(Mark 1:4, The One Translation)

If a move towards the vernacular is designed to make the text more clear, --to say nothing of the death to the poetry of King James-- I believe that The One Translation fails. The choice of "dip" instead of "baptize" doesn't revise the meaning, it beclouds it making one think more of baseball players and chewing tobacco than of the locust-eating recluse John the Baptist. Many linguistic changes are similarly humor inducing and strange. The attempts to modernize the words fall flat more often than they succeed.

The translations true crime can be found in its creation of new biblical meaning. Returning to the first example, the shift in the message in Paul's words, from "let every man have his own wife, and every woman have her own husband" to "everyone to have a regular partner" is a blatantly political bastardization. In King James, a man should have a wife, a woman a husband. In TOT, all that is advised is "a regular partner". Does the Archbishop think that by rewriting the Bible with a politically correct hand is for the good of The Church? This Bible and its promoters, including the current Archbishop of Canterbury, must be rebuked and their agenda stopped.

In the late 1970's the Episcopalian church decided to rewrite the Lord's Prayer. William F. Buckley's words on that stupidity read as apropos today:

Perhaps it was ordained that the Episcopalians, like their brothers the Catholics, should suffer. It is a time for weeping, and a time for rage. Do not go kindly into the night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. That would be the advice of this outsider to my brothers in the Anglican Church. They must rage against those who bring upon Christianity not only indifference, but contempt.

(Speical thanks to Slothrop's Dream reader Christine for the scoop)

Ohio: The Heart Of It All

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 19:32:32 GMT

Until recently, Kentucky was thought to possess the worlds largest Ohio buckeye tree, much to the disgust of forestry majors everywhere. Turns out though, learned via the sharp eye of one of said students at The Ohio State University, the Kentucky champ is in fact a yellow buckeye, not an Ohio at all. Like the Greeks returning Helen, or Springfield taking back the lemon tree from Shelbyville, the rightness of nature was once again restored. Thus, the largest of the species (pictured) does in fact reside in the state called home by tree lovers like Dennis Kucinich, Dave Chappell, and Jerry Springer.

A recent issue of Business Week has handed Ohio another title, that of the most important state in the 2004 presidential election. Using a weighted scale to calculate the value of each state's electoral votes, the magazine has concluded that Ohio's 20 votes are in fact worth 60, more than those of any other state. Florida and Missouri, with 27 and 11 votes, were second and third with a weighted value of 52 and 43, respectfully. States like California and Texas with more than double Ohio's electors are worth less (Cali's 55 dropped to 31, Texas' 34 became 12) in the minds of the editors, but why?

Business Week weighed each vote based on factors like the states previous voting pattern. A state like New York, that consistently votes for one party, is considered in the bag for Kerry and therefore not as likely to be fought over. States like Ohio are less predictable, with no party holding a dominant majority. These are the “battleground” or “swing” states.

Battleground states are receiving massive influxes of advertising and other solicitations from the two parties, while the rest of the country is mostly ignored as a certainty for one candidate or another. For people in these select states it provides an engrossing atmosphere in which to learn about each candidate and observe the horse race. For the large number of states on the outside though, the feeling is one of exclusion.

Despite the near statistical tie in the 2000 election, a Republican in California or a Democrat in Texas may feel their vote is futile. Nearly 75% of the electorate lives within a state that is considered out of play. Because the Electoral College does not decide upon popular vote or divvy out state electors based upon what percentage a candidate wins, voters in red and blue states may also feel taken for granted, even if they reside with the majority. Business Week believes swing voters “account for only 8% to 15% of an electorate of 130 million registered voters, a huge swath of America -- and its concerns -- is being ignored as the parties home in on about 17 competitive states.” But if California is “being ignored” by the Dems, why wouldn't they just vote for someone else? The Golden state has elected Pete Wilson, Ronald Reagan, and most recently Arnold Schwarzenegger all from the GOP. The first two are pure conservatives and Arnold is a moderate from the “compassionate” camp. Californians, are perhaps the most reactionary electorate in the country and liable of anything; certainly not a group to take for granted. Rather than being ignored, it is more likely that California's voters see themselves as better served by Gore and Kerry rather than Bush.

Does this mean that Kerry/Edwards can spend time in other states that are less likely go their way? Yes. But it doesn't mean their campaign can ignore NY, California, and other strongholds. If they lose their base then they have no chance and they know this. Therefore they will continue to speak to liberals, just as Bush will continue speaking to his base, while they simultaneously talk moderate policy to the swing states. In an race as close as the polls have this one, no states can be take for granted. Or come election night the certainty of victory may be revealed to be as fallacious as Kentucky's yellow buckeye.

Two Johns

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 00:39:55 GMT

Slothrop's Dream on analyzing the Edwards pick here.

Finally, a new post

Mon, 21 Jun 2004 23:23:47 GMT

Celebrities thinking for you My thoughts on the famous babbling on the record.

Ronald Reagan

Mon, 07 Jun 2004 22:31:52 GMT

A few thoughts on the man who took America, ensnared in the morass of a stagflating economy, Iranian hostage crisis, distrust of the presidency, and appearent choice between mutual nuclear destrustion or eventual communist dominance, and retured to us, and the world, confidence.

QOTD

Tue, 18 May 2004 18:40:59 GMT

Quote of the Day:

Nowadays, a clergyman who wants to keep his congregation has only two courses open to him. Either it must be Anglo-Catholicism pure and simple --or rather, pure and not simple; or he must be daringly modern and broad-minded and preach comforting sermons proving that there is no Hell and all good religions are the same.

-George Orwell from 'A Clergyman's Daughter'

WMD found

Mon, 17 May 2004 21:41:39 GMT

The jokes can stop now. A 155-millimeter round containing the nerve agent sarin detonated Saturday as part of a roadside bomb. Brig. Gen. Mark Kimmitt stated, “The round had been rigged as an IED (improvised explosive device) which was discovered by a U.S. force convoy. A detonation occurred before the IED could be rendered inoperable. This produced a very small dispersal of agent.''

Sarin was developed by the Nazi’s in the 1930s and was used by the Aum Shinrikyo cult on Tokyo’s subway in 1995. That attack killed 12 and injured thousands. The exploded ordinance in Iraq appears to have killed no one, although two soldiers were treated for chemical exposure.

Of course the first question CNN’s Daryn Kagan asked was about the origin of the shell, implying that it could have come from outside Iraq. Their expert though, quickly corrected her stating that it was almost certainly of Iraqi origin due to its make and size. The shell was unmarked and the terrorists likely did not know its contents, making it probable that many other unmarked shells, as yet untested and scattered throughout the country also contain hidden chemical weapons.

You Are Gay

Tue, 11 May 2004 13:18:31 GMT

The other night in an NBA playoff game the Timberwolve's Kevin Garnett elbowed Denver's rookie center Francisco Elson below the belt. Proving that basketball is a child's game at any level, Elson retaliated with repartee straight from 5th grade recess.

In a press conference following the game he recounted how he had retaliated in-game, "You don’t do that. That’s gay on his part. I told him that he was gay, too, for touching me in my private parts."

Here was a refreshing moment where someone in public came off unaffected, sharing what he actually thought. He had no agent or lawyer or p.r. girl there to tell him what to say. He simply repeated what he had told Garnett during the game. The statement was rash, raw, and immature (what grown man says "private parts"?) but wholly refreshing in its candor. And it didn't take long for the P.C. police to jump.

The NBA senior vice president quickly warned teams about volatile remarks in the media and an AP story said that gay and lesbian groups "chastised" Elson. I've seen no actual quotes to back up this statement by the AP, but I'll take them at their word.

Elson quickly apologized under the criticism saying that his remarks were out of character and "insensitive". In fact, it was the use of words like insensitive that felt out of character for the guy who likely uses "gay" as an insult. Am I out of touch or don't lots of people use this slur? Why pretend otherwise. Had he called KJ a Frenchman, a mullet lover, or a Republican, there would be no outcry. Identity politics is a discriminating deamon. And the issue is wholly political, not economic.

Its not as if a boycott of the NBA --even 100% effective-- from the homosexual community would hurt ticket sales, its just not their audience. Hypersensitivity flares up again, and to what end? Surely no one believes the apology, as forced as all public celebrity apologies are. What is accomplished is a reinforcing of the rules; there are things one can say in public, and many things one cannot. These forbidden words are censorship by a new name, relabeled marxism.

To fight this new oppression we must, as they say, control the dialogue. So get out there and say what you feel in public without checking over your shoulder. Call your friends car bughetto, tell the boss his son is queer bait, or call that date that cant hold their liquor a Native American. No GLAAD awards will come your way, and many people will revile you, call you unenlightened and bigoted or worse, but the life of a free speech revolutionary has its own rewards.

Saeva Indignatio

Thu, 06 May 2004 14:14:17 GMT

A recent editorial , published by The Daily Collegian, the University of Massachusetts's student newspaper, was titled 'Pat Tillman is not a hero: He got what was coming to him' The author, a grad student named Rene Gonzalez writes that Americans are too stupid to know what a hero is or much of anything else. His unique perspective makes him the purveyor of an insight he feels compelled to share:

However, in my neighborhood in Puerto Rico, Tillman would have been called a "pendejo," an idiot. Tillman, in the absurd belief that he was defending or serving his all-powerful country...decided to give up a comfortable life to place himself in a combat situation that cost him his life. This was not "Ramon or Tyrone," who joined the military out of financial necessity, or to have a chance at education. This was a "G.I. Joe" guy who got what was coming to him. That was not heroism, it was prophetic idiocy.

The rancor here is far beyond the usual unbathed, jam-band loving types that have become more common than designer "trucker hats" on campuses. His nescient foreign affairs analysis is just as dull as those hippies however, "After all, whether we like them or not, the Taliban is more Afghani than we are. Their resistance is more legitimate than our invasion...". The Imperial Japanese were certainly "more" Japanese than the US soldiers that occupied Japan after WWII as were the Nazis more German than the Allies. But it is not in contests of comparative ethnicity that we judge legitimacy. To question the legitimacy of America's coalition to go into Afghanistan after Sept 11th is sophomoric anomie backed by nothing.

So much hate for America and Pat Tillman the man, and resentment towards the appreciation paid to a soldier who embodied bravery and patriotism. The far left has always hated patriotism because they see it as jingoistic and another crutch, like religion, of the small minds. Convinced of their superior intellect, these liberals will proffer moral relativism and other postmodern philosophy as evidence that most people--those below them--are lemmings who need to be told what think. Emerson though, reminds us that "character is higher than intellect".

Were this one piece in a collegiate daily though, it could be explained away by drugs, drinking, or X-Box withdrawal. Unfortunately, Tillman and America bashing have made the mainstream press as well. MSNBC and Slate both recently published a cartoon by Ted Rall, a syndicated cartoonist and writer, that espouses the same nonsense. The two websites have since pulled the cartoon. In it, the author describes Pat Tillman as "a cog in a low rent occupation army that shot more innocent civilians than terrorists to prop up puppet rulers and exploit gas and oil resources". The final frame shows three men at a publication offering the one word that comes to mind when hearing the Pat Tillman story. The first man says "idiot", the second "sap" and the third, the tie wearing editor is the only one who says "hero".

Not before he was buried Ranger Corporal Tillman, a man who never sought publicity for his service after giving up a 3 million dollar football contract, was being used as a political punching bag. The left--there are more examples--has gone to painting him as nothing but a dumb jock, worshipped by people too stupid to realize that the war on terror is a sham to cover up a diabolical scheme to lower gasoline prices. At times like these I wonder at how powerful their hatred of America must be to make them so ghoulish and benighted. Have you seen the price of gas recently? I ask you, who is the idiot, and who is the hero?

Magazine Addiction

Wed, 28 Apr 2004 17:54:31 GMT

Magazine Addiction (moblogging post)

I am a complete magazine addict. Part or all of thirty magazines a month is not unheard of in my binging, all without shame. From this vast reading I have decided to compile a list of some of my favorites. For those that have better things to do, read deeper material, and you illiterate trolls that avoid even gazing too long at the cereal box, this list may point out a periodical or two that might of slipped your radar. They are in no particular order.

Mental Floss

A collection of the inane, this magazine compiles strange facts and best/worst of lists on random categories that at once make you feel smart while requiring absolutely no cognitive effort. An example: Hound of the Baskervilles and Other Terrible Pets Koala - While few animals are as cute as the sleepy koala, as pets they wouldn't be much fun. Koalas sleep up to 20 hours a day and aren't all that peppy when they're awake. Maybe thats because stressed-out koalas are particularly prone to Chlamydia. Yes, that Chlamydia.

Modern Drunkard

This against the grain publication takes its motto from Charles Bukowski: "When you were drunk, the world was still out there, but at least it didn't have you by the throat." With articles advising how to get thrown out of a bar and how to successfully diffuse an intervention ("If one of them smokes, point out the dangers of second hand smoke, and remark that at least when you're drinking you don't go around spitting bourbon in people's mouths.") the surprisingly literate magazine is an unapologetic paean to the practice of getting smashed. Amusing, if a bit over the top, and definitely not for the those with a penchant for taking offense.

The Robb Report

The nouveau rich and masses of wannabes all delight in this lifestyle magazine for the well-to-do. If your buying a corporate jet or just looking for the perfect single malt this journal considers all the tough aspects of living the luxury lifestyle. Beyond Bentley reviews however, are the true joy, the advertisements. The ads are from a litany of chronograph companies, sculptors, and fashion lines you've never heard of with models trying their best to look at once beautiful, young(er), and old money. Unfortunately, the classifieds, where one could score a second hand island or river, or buy the home of a celebrity, have been removed. It still is a good time killer none the less.