2004-03-27 RR EA 4 Keith & Lee sign backfires

2004-03-27 RR EA 4 Keith & Lee sign backfires

This morning’s practice run began as most do.  At 9am, the parking lot at the Anoka Fairgrounds boat launch was filled with cars, trucks, and vans carrying canoes.  Many of the canoes had covers on them to protect them from the harsh ultraviolet rays of the sun.  The paddlers who had not seen each other for some time smiled and greeted each other; sometimes with hugs, sometimes with smart remarks, but always with good intentions.  The group this morning included:   Eric Canny & Joe Manns, Todd Ellison & Dan Hassel, Al Dubois & Tom Gardner, Lee Jarpey & Keith Canny, Kathy & John Sullivan, Kevin Shriver & Io Harberts, Roseanne Barr & Todd R. Johnson, and Ed Arenz & Rick Lorenzen. The day was cool and cloudy and promised to rain on us.  So we got on the water as teams got ready.

Everyone, except me, had been told about Keith and Lee’s riverbank sign.  They all thought it still said what Keith and Lee had put on it:  RICK LORENZEN, WHOOP-ASS COMES IN ALUMINUM CANOES”.  They were all very careful not to give out any signs about any signs.  None of them were aware that I had found and changed the sign to read: “KEITH CANNY & LEE JARPEY VULNERABLE ADULTS LOOSE WANTED FOR OLD AGE & TAUNTING PADDLERS”.  Nor were they aware that I had printed flyers with Keith and Lee’s picture on them that I would hand out at the end of the practice.

The canoes were spaced out on the river around the first few bends heading upstream.  Then we slowly began to collect into small packs two or three at a time.  Roseanne had her muscular bare arms showing and I had taken off my long sleeve polar fleece jacket to show my skinny arms.  Someone remarked that Roseanne’s arms were more muscular than mine.  I was the first to laugh out loud because I knew it was true.  That was not the only friendly jab exchanged, but even those targeted by the friendly jabs laughed.  We all knew that the remarks were meant in friendship. 

As we approached the landing 4 miles upstream, I remarked to Ed in my canoe;  “I’ve got to get Keith back for that sign he made last year, but I haven’t figured out how.”  Ed groaned “Oh, Rick, you’re not going to like what’s going to happen next.”  I asked “What do you mean?”, but he wouldn’t explain further.  Keith said, “Let’s wait up and get a drink” because he wanted to have all 8 canoes together when we came up to the sign.  I tried not to notice the others looking at each other and trying to get me to be in the lead without saying anything that might tip me off.  I could hardly wait, but I took a drink of water before telling Ed I was ready to go.

As the sign came into view, I said very loudly, “What’s that … a SIGN?”  The rest of the people didn’t say a word.  Since RoseAnne and Todd were ahead of us, I asked them to read it out loud.  There was a confused silence when they didn’t hear what they thought they were going to hear.  Some people hadn’t heard Todd and didn’t bother to look at the sign because they had seen it when Keith and Lee put it on the riverbank.  I paddled on upstream happily as Keith and Lee stopped to examine the sign.  By the time we got to the sandbar island another 30 minutes further upstream to take our break, Keith and Lee had finished eating crow and only had a few black feathers showing on their chins.  Lee shook my hand and said “Good job!” and Keith doffed his baseball cap in homage.  They had yet to see the flyers that would be distributed when we got back.

It wasn’t long before the first cooler clicked shut.  That’s a signal to jump back in your canoes because the pack was heading out.  We paddled on upstream through a quick shower of cold rain and a few wind gusts.  It was a 2 hours up to the 7^th Avenue bridge for another short break and leg stretch.  Then back downstream we went.  Many times during the day we had 2, 3, 4, and even 7 canoes side by side with just enough water between the canoes to get paddles in.  Stern paddlers calling “Hut!” or “Draw!” to tell the bow paddlers when they needed help keeping the canoes riding the waves of the other canoes.  We sounded and almost looked like a flock of geese honking as they were flying south.  Once in a while, the wrong bow paddler would switch sides in response to another canoe’s “Hut!”  Sometimes when a canoe jumped a wake, you would hear, “Watch your paddle”! warning the leading canoe team that there was a canoe bow coming alongside from behind.  This was necessary because you can break a $150 paddle blade if it catches on the bow of a racing canoe.

Three hours after we started, we got back to the Anoka Fairgrounds.  My arms were dead tired because I had been using them too much and this was my 2^nd day in a row.   Everyone but Lee & Keith, Al & Tom had to get back home.  Ed talked me into going back out with them for another easy paddle, but he had to wait until I handed out the flyers I had made for Keith and Lee.  The flyers were well received by all who saw them, but I think Keith and Lee enjoyed them the most.  I gulped another nutritional supplement for the energy and ran back to the river to paddle again.   My arms had recovered a lot, but I was glad that they didn’t push it as hard as they had earlier.  We didn’t even go up to the first bridge at county road 116 before we turned back.  Then we stopped at Wendy’s to eat lunch and talk about canoe racing.