The Whispering Philosopher
WhisperingPhilosopher.com, TheReluctantPhilosopher.com & Richard Branton's Weblog
Life's lessons are all around us; waiting to be inhaled; like the fragrance of flowers. Rhb

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Monday, February 06, 2006
 

Diaries continued.  I have started looking through my diaries. I wrote a series of  "Thought for the day"   These were written for me.  I had no thoughts of sharing them beyond my children (or their children) making a chance discovery rummaging through my things.  As I record them here, I will update them somewhat so that they are not significantly inconsistent [forgive the double negative] with my current thinking and writing style.  As I will minimize my editing many will remain quite green . 

February 17, 1974.

There are at least two ways of knowing.  Rational [Logical -2006]: based on careful, precise, step by step deduction and Intuitive based on feelings, preponderance of evidence and intelligent guessing.  Each must complement the other; and each are appropriate for different situations.

2-5-2006:

I now think of these as left and right brain activities, although the scientific evidence for this brain partitioning is inconclusive.  Whether the various thought patterns are associated with specific brain hemispheres or not; that we have these two ways of thinking seems apparent.  The strength of intuition is its speed and its ability to connect the dots, especially when not all dots are present.  This is also its weakness.  Many times the truth is counter-intuitive.  The strength of logical is it reliability and the understanding of where a conclusion might be weak; but it takes time and often discipline.

For myself, where there is little time and or little risk, I rely on intuition and have worked to educate and train mine.  When there is time and the risks and/or consequences are significant, I rely on logic, even to the point of doing my thinking on paper. 

In the middle I often use my intuition as a starting point, and then think through the reasons my intuitions suggest a certain conclusion; or start with logic and leap with intuition when I understand the problem.

How does one train one's instruction:

  • Acquire a broad base of knowledge in the target subject area.  It is almost always useful to acquire a broad base of knowledge of human nature. 
  • Work to become aware of your biases and world view.  These will color your intuition and can obscure reality with prejudgments.  While biases simplify our lives and are therefore useful; as simplifications, they do not reflect the whole reality.  This suggestion, is not to eliminate your biases, but to recognize and compensate for them when evaluating your intuitive conclusions.  It is often helpful to ask how would someone else see this?
  • Work to be mindful.  Be aware of all clues one can.
  • Practice.  Read/watch mysteries, work puzzles, guess what will happen next.
  • ...

How does one train one's logical thinking:

  • Study thinking techniques.  References include:
  • Try writing down one's assumptions; facts and deductions
  • Work to be careful; think though:  What have I missed?  Why is this not the right conclusion? How tight is my evidence.
  • Practice.  Read Sherlock Homes and Edgar Allen Poe's Mysteries
  • ...

12:15:55 AM    comment []

Monday, January 30, 2006
 

I have started looking through my diaries. I wrote a series of  "Thought for the day"   These were written for me.  I had no thoughts of sharing them beyond my children (or their children) making a chance discovery rummaging through my things.  As I record them here, I will update them somewhat so that they are not significantly inconsistent [forgive the double negative] with my current thinking and writing style.  As I will minimize my editing many will remain quite green . 

Feb. 20, 1974. 

Good people basically do good things and behave in  ways they feel are ethical.  One consequence of this is that:  if you are genuinely good but your ethical or belief system prevents you from doing something you are naturally inclined to do (or encourages you to do something that you do not find natural): it "may" be that your ethical system is the problem, not your performance or inclinations. 2006: Our basic nature facilitated our species survival to this day.  However, I have learned over the years that our life experiences may distort our basic nature and one may feel "drawn" to act in a way inconsistent with our innate nature and indeed our very survival.

It is important to be kind to all people [2006: all living things] and to do what is right (whatever that is). One's intuition can be a great help in establishing one's beliefs.  I also feel that one's beliefs should be internally consistent and that one should be aware of the assumptions and/or myths that underpin them.  I feel that you should test your belief system:

  • by reading and attempting to understand like and unlike opinions and beliefs
  • by observation and re-evaluation
  • by comparison to how you actually live

Developing one's own system can be a complex, confusing, lifelong project.

One last point:  to help maintain objectivity in building your beliefs, evaluate your belief system not for you, but for someone like you.

 


11:25:04 PM    comment []

Thursday, January 26, 2006
 

Substance abuse is a sin against the four pillars of one's existence:

  • One's Mind:  it alters the brain and distorts thinking
  • One's Heart: it alienates one from family and friends; it creates a sense of isolation and loneliness
  • One's Body: it causes a neglect of health as well as cause direct bodily abuse
  • One's Spirit: it results in a loss of purpose and a loss of one's sense of one's place in the universe

To pay for this sin against the four pillars of one's existence, one must go through purgatory to purge the consequences of the abuse:

  • One must suffer past the depression and doubt and troubling thoughts that accompany withdrawal
  • One must suffer past the doubt and hurt of love ones and accept the permanent loss of some
    One must also suffer through the separation of those who share one's addictions; but not one's will to recover
  • One must suffer past the physical cravings and the physical discomfort of a body seeking normalcy
  • One must suffer past the doubt of one's worth; the fear that it will never be right; the guilt of what has been lost and that which cannot be regained

To not go through this purgatory; to take the easy road, is to deepen the sin and to perish.

Friends and loves ones can provide support; medications can ease the transition; and those who have gone before can help lead the way; but one must make the journey one's self and bear the suffering the leads to a better existence.

I am sorry it must be this way.  


11:31:01 PM    comment []

Tuesday, September 13, 2005
 

I appreciate those of you who have inquired about additional entries in the site.  My schedule has been such that I needed to sacrifice a number of things that gave me pleasure, for a number of things that I felt was important.  It seems that each time I feel that I am about to emerge, something else is needed.  I have made notes here and there and will bit by bit translate those notes into entries.  In the meantime, check back periodically, or email me via the comments and I will let you know when I am back.

Thx. Rhb


10:28:58 PM    comment []

Wednesday, March 30, 2005
 

I have been asked am I still adding entries to Whispering Philosopher.  For the past several weeks my work schedule has made it difficult for me to complete entries such that I am comfortable uploading them.  However, by this time next week, I should be back. 

Thanks for interest and the concern.  Rhb


12:10:53 AM    comment []

Tuesday, March 01, 2005
 

I have seen some quit before they start, I have seen some quit on the verge of success, I have seen some quit all along the path.
This brings me to the following:  the key to success includes "keep at it!".
            Rhb

Mastering others requires strength; mastering self is true power.   
            Dao de Jing  Chapter 33

'Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.'
            Calvin Coolidge

Genius is a product of (1) intelligence/special abilities, (2) persistence/hard work, and (3) striving. 
            Sir Francis Galton

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew [muscle]
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
            Rudyard Kipling in the poem "If"  (One of my absolute favorite Poems - Rhb)


Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.
            Winston Churchill speaking to students at the Harrow School
 

Often success is a matter of simply not giving up.  
Many have succeeded by being the last one to quit.
Many things in life require hard work, sacrifice & time.
Often the enemy is our own doubts & uncertainty.
Often the barrier is our fear that success will not be ours, or that success will not be what we expect.
Conquering ourselves is the ultimate challenge.
The difference between a dream and a fantasy is our willingness to work at it in spite of the setbacks, in spite of the difficulties, in spite of the challenges, in spite of being tired, in spite of the absence of a guarantee.
            Rhb


12:13:57 AM    comment []

Tuesday, February 22, 2005
 

*** Out of time tonight. Editing is incomplete *** Rhb

Note:  This entry is named "Friendship I" as I am sure I will be writing more on friendship as time goes on.

I have been recently reminded, that the measure of a friend is not how much time you spend together;
but how quickly your closeness resumes after a separation & how little time seems to have passed.       
That is to say, true friendship transcends separation.

Rhb

 

Generally, We don't get to choose our relatives, but we do get to chose our friends. anon.
It is a great fortune, when we would choose our relatives as our friends. Rhb

 

Other quotes on friendship selected from the website http://www.quotegarden.com/index.html :

  • Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends."  Anon
  • Friends are relatives you make for yourself.  ~Eustache Deschamps
     
  • Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you.  They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.  ~Author Unknown
  • What is a friend?  A single soul dwelling in two bodies.  ~Aristotle
     

  • You can always tell a real friend:  when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.  ~Laurence J. Peter
     
  • Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.  ~Author Unknown
     
  • If you're alone, I'll be your shadow.  If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.  If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow.  If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile.  But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me.  ~Author Unknown
  • A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.  ~Donna Roberts
     

  • The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had.  ~Author Unknown
  • True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.  ~Dave Tyson Gentry
     
  • The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.  ~Elisabeth Foley
     
  • It is the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.  ~Marlene Dietrich
     

  • I like her because she smiles at me and means it.  ~Tas Soft Wind
     

  • Some people come into our lives
    and leave footprints on our hearts
    and we are never ever the same.
    ~Flavia Weedn, Forever
     
  • Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.  ~Oprah Winfrey
     
  • A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself.  ~Frances Ward Weller
  • A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should.  ~Author Unknown
     
  • A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.  ~Douglas Pagels

     

11:32:44 PM    comment []

Sunday, February 20, 2005
 

Sometimes when a goal takes significant time and effort we fail to put our progress in perspective.

Years ago, in college, I did some mountain climbing (technical - with ropes and karabiners as well as hike ups) with a dear friend from Georgia Tech. 

When you are up on a climb, tired, sore and its getting dark, there are four places you can look:

  • You can look at the rock or path immediately ahead of you and focus on the challenges of the moment, one hand above the other, one foot in front of the other; a reach there for a piece of the rock.
     
  • You can look up and focus on how far you have yet to go.

    If a pending storm or darkness interrupts your climb, you can focus on the frustration of not being able to continue at that time, saying to yourself, that all this is for nothing.
     
  • You can look down and out at the vista, and enjoy the view along with the progress your have made.

    If your climb is to be delayed or interrupted, you can take satisfaction in how far you have come & how great the view is from here.
     
  • You can look inside of yourself, at your increasing skills, at the sensations of your body, at the "real struggle":  the struggle to conquer your limitations & the negative messages you send yourself; at your weaknesses and your compensating strengths; at your fear and your compensating courage.

    If your climb is to be delayed or interrupted, you can take satisfaction in how much you have grown, what you have learned, how better prepared you will be for the future.
     
  • Or you can do all four; trying to put in perspective the progress you have made; the challenges you have met, without minimizing those yet to come; and continue to climb -- enjoying the challenge.

Rhb


10:37:32 PM    comment []

Monday, February 14, 2005
 

*** I am out of time tonight -- Final editing later ***

Several years ago, I wrote a collection of words for a friend exploring what it means to say a couple is compatible.  Almost all of the words started with the letter 'C'.  The index card I wrote on is one of hundreds that I have stored away.  I don't have time to retrieve that index card at the moment, but here is what I remember.  I should note that with one exception; Chemistry, this compatibility applies to all sorts of relationships, including long lasting fraternal relationships and business partnerships; and indeed translate chemistry and an explainable attraction, it can apply in those relationships as well.

Compatibility involves several dimensions:

  • Commonality -- the Couple must have enough in common for there to be a glue that wholes them together. 
    The three most important areas of Commonality are Values, Interest and Vision. 
    • Common values are the basis for trust and for life decisions.  If the Couples don't share common values, conflicts will likely be deep and difficult, if not impossible to resolve.
    • Common interest forms the basis for building & expanding the relationship.  Common interest means each partner naturally does or enjoys many of the same things.  Things that you would enjoy doing without your partner, but that doing them with your partner is icing on the cake.  My mother once pointed out to me the importance of common interest.  I had asked her if she and daddy ever fell out of love with each.  To my surprise, she said all couples fall in and out of love all the time ... however if they keep doing together the things they each like to do and then one day, "you wake up back in love again".  Note: couples have to be careful to maintain common interest that go beyond children.  Children can be all consuming, but one day, hopefully, they grow up and go their own ways.  On that day, a couple who has not maintained other common interest will likely struggle to find common interest.
    • Common vision (direction and dreams) -- it is much easier to be in a relationship where you each have similar visions of the relationship and where each of the partners are trying to get.  It does not have to be the same place, a synergistic place will do almost as well.  It also helps if each feel that it is easier to get there together than separately.
  • Complementary -- Although commonality is important, it is also important that there be differences.  Studies show we seek to complete ourselves with out mates.  We tend to find mates who are strong where we are weak.  If he likes to cook, but not clean; and she likes to clean but not cook -- they a complementary in this regard.  Note: this complementariness can also a source of conflict if it is not recognized and appreciated.  Being able to compromise and find balance is vital.  She is a risk taker; he likes to play it safe.  She adds excitement and a moderate amount of risk taking to his life; he adds balance and caution to hers.  In so doing, they complement each other.  It is particularly fortunate when they can divide up the daily chores of living naturally, without conscious thought or "horse trading".
  • Chemistry --  there is something inexplicably magical about being in the other's presence; one misses the other when they are apart.  In romantic couples there is a sexual attraction for each other; each feels a longing when they are  apart.   This does not have to be the strong attraction of the newly in love, what science call the 'infatuation stage of a relationship', that burns like a campfire; it can be a softer and more sustained, like the warmth of burning coals. It compels you to want to sit close, to touch; to cuddle, to make love.  Or in the case of non-romantic friendships, to simply want to hang out together.  The absence of chemistry in a romantic relationship leaves one vulnerable to temptation from others.

The above are what I would call the big three.  The following enhance the relationship and takes it the the level of true deep and abiding friends:

  • Cooperation -- working together comes easily
  • Comfort -- there is something, perhaps indescribable about the relationship that one feels at ease in the presence of one's partner.  One does not feel one has to "tip toe" around; "watch what you say"; "be something you are not".  Being with each other is not work; rather it is refreshing & re-invigorating 
  • Company -- there is a sense of contentment in each others presence.
  • Compartmentalization -- it is also important that a couple have separate interest, separate areas of their life where they stay in touch with themselves.  It is in the compartments of their lives that they don't share, that they remain in touch with themselves and that forms the basis of fascinated with each other.  This of course requires mutual respect and trust.

One more characteristic was described by Plato.  Plato wrote of humans becoming powerful enough to challenge the gods. As a precaution, the gods split their souls into two parts: a male and a female part and scattered about the planet.  The souls then wandered the earth looking for it's other half.  This brings one more attribute of compatibility which, for rare couples, is the finding of one's Soul mate:

  • Completeness -- the sense that being with the other person makes you whole.  The sense not just that your partner is perfect for you; but that you are perfect for each other.  It often comes with the sense that your partner can read your mind; and shares your deepest thoughts.  You & your partner are best friends.

Finally, Kurt Vonnegut writing in the science fiction book "Cat's Cradle" (1963) described a couple on an airplane as a "Duprass".  This duprass couple is so close to each other that they revolve around one another and no one else can come into the fold.  Even their kids, who will benefit from the warmth as planets benefit from the sun, will not be able to penetrate their bond.  Note: according to Vonnegut, the security and the warmth this provides the children more than makes up for anything lost.  This gives rise to one other concept:

  • Covalence -- technically, this means the forming of a bond between two atoms as the result of sharing electrons.   This bond is so close and so complete that others can only admire and visit with the couple.  Each of the partners feel that he or she needs the other for continued existence.  Once joined, not even death can separate them.  Duprass according to Vonnegut often die within days of each other; or on an anniversary (each others, or the other's death).  The surviving mate of a duprass, never remarry and never deeply love another.

10:57:41 PM    comment []

Wednesday, February 09, 2005
 

I went to the funeral of a dear friend of three generations of my family. His nephew, Dr. H. Beecher Hicks, Jr., a minister gave a powerful talk in which he described Charles as a good soldier. He went on to describe the three general orders that all soldiers are to obey; and how these general orders applied in Charles' life. In describing these general orders, he outlined valuable lessons for each of us which I will paraphrase below:

  1. Take charge of your post.

    A good soldier accepts full responsibility for the assigned post with no excuses.
    Don't be a victim of what others fail to do.

    Charles' family came from humble origins, yet he and others in his family went on to great success. Charles earned a Doctorate in Education and became a renowned educator. He did not let the fickle fortunes of fate define him; nor did he complain about how things were. Rather, he took responsibility for his own life; for his own success; for his own happiness. Rather than complain, he acted.

    We must have the courage to take charge of our lives & do what is needed to make a meaningful contribution; and to achieve personal satisfaction and success.

  2. Walk your post in a military manner.

    There is a right way to do everything. To be a soldier is to live in ever present danger, yet you are to walk with your head held high and your chest out.

    RhbNote: Growing up a Black American of achievement in southern United States in the 40's, 50's & 60's was to live in constant danger; especially if you were willing to speak your mind about the injustices of the day. I am reminded of a comment from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr: "... and so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent."

    Continuing with the paraphrase of Rev. Hicks' comments: How you walk is a reflection of how you think.

  3. Quit your post only when properly relieved.

    A soldier is always on duty and never gives up until he or she is relieved of the post and the responsibility for the post is assumed by another.

    As a result of an automobile accident, Charles lived for many years with pain, yet he continued to work tirelessly on projects important to him; he continued to travel. Neither, his discomfort nor his age kept him from pursuing his goals; and he never complained.

RhbNote: These three general orders are good lessons for each of us.
  • Take charge of our lives and the things that are important to us; and live without excuses, without complaints.
  • Carry ourselves with courage and determination in the face of difficulties, disappointment and danger."Walk on, walk on, with your head held high & you will never walk alone".
  • Only quit when we have achieved our mission or we are properly relieved from our post by those who are prepared to carry on.
On a personal note: Charles was a great friend. My father and mother loved him. I and all my siblings and my father's siblings loved him. We all have fond memories of him; he will not be forgotten.

Charles Albert Hicks. I salute you. Rest In Peace. Rhb


10:55:00 PM    comment []

Monday, February 07, 2005
 

*** out of time, uploaded, but not edited, will edit later ***

I keep replaying a fragment of a scene I saw on the evening news the other day.  A young man, appearing to be in his early-mid twenties was being arraigned in court, I believe on murder charges.  What touched me about the scene, was the young man sobbing in court because none of his relatives were present.  As I recalled, he said to the judge, I just want somebody to be here with me, my momma, somebody. 

Eric Berne, the psychologist who developed the psychological model "Transaction Analysis" posits that as we grow up, we record feelings just as we record facts. He further posited that we relive these feelings when placed in an analogous situation, just as we would replay 4 in response to 2+2.  The result of these recorded feelings, according to Berne, is that in every person there is a "Parent", an "Adult" and a "Child".  Seeing this young man feeling alone and frighten, hoping only for the comfort of someone who cares for him reminded me of this model.  RhbNote: I have found this model to be quite useful for the last 30 or more years.

I don't know enough about the families' situation and why no one was in court to judge them, nor can anyone ever know enough to judge them.  Nor, do I know if this young man committed the act he is being accused of; nor can we ever know enough to judge anything but his obligation under the law.  But if this is indicative of his life experience, I can't help wonder, did that young man ever have a chance to turn out differently.

Contrast this to a friend of mine had what appeared to be everything, loving parents, material comfort, who was raised with religion and values. Yet, who none-the-less, sometime back became involved with drugs; and took to living on the streets. 

He and his parents would argue when they saw each other; and it broke their hearts to see him like that.  But even so, once a week, they would set out a meal for him, clean clothes and I believe a small sum of money; and leave the house so that he could come and shower, have a hot meal and a clean set of clothes.  They never stopped loving him or being there for him. 

I know of others, all over the social, economic and religious or philosophical map; some whose lives turned out better than one would expect; some who lives turned out worst.

I especially wonder about those whose lives did not live up to the great potential of being a human being, the wasting of human potential is a tragedy.  In each case, I don't know enough to understand; and not understanding, I don't know enough to judge.  In each case I feel sadness.

There are many lessons here: but the most important one I can't discern: Why did things turn out this way?  And, as a practical matter, what could have made a real difference?


11:26:49 PM    comment []

Saturday, February 05, 2005
 

 

 

What is the measure of the greatness of a person?

 

Another great person died on February 4, 2005 (See Stories have the potential to break up life into little digestible pieces: a tribute to Ozzie Davis  the February 4, 2004 entry.)  

 

In the 1930's, Max Schmeling was a German boxer who was the first person to beat the famed fighter Joe Louis.  The Nazis held up his victory as an example of Aryan superiority.  In 1938, just before World War II, in a much hyped rematch in New York City, Joe Louis beat Schmeling in a resounding first round knock out.

 

Now the rest of the story, later Schmeling said that he was almost happy he lost, he wanted nothing to do with the Nazis.  As it turned out, before the war, Schmeling secretly helped save Jews from persecution. At great personal risk, he hid two Jewish brothers in his hotel suite and later helped them flee to America.  He never himself revealed this.  It was uncovered when one of the brothers, Henry Lewin, who became a successful hotel owner, thanked Schmeling for saving his and his brother's life.  Despite high level pressure, he also he refused to stop associating with German Jews or to fire his American Jewish manager, Joe Jacobs.  During the '36 Olympics Max Schmeling exacted a promise from Hitler that all U.S. athletes would be protected.

Schmeling went on to become a successful businessman.  Later he financially helped Joe Louis and ultimately paid for Joe Louis' funeral. 

A synopsis of his life can be seen on the web at: http://www.auschwitz.dk/schmeling.htm

 

 

Things to consider:

  • Be careful how you judge someone with full knowledge and understanding of their situation; and we can never have full knowledge and understanding of someone else.
  • Things are not always as they seem.
  • A fierce body can have a gentle soul and a giving heart.
  • Courage comes in many forms.
  • The world is full of unsung heroes; and unsung acts of heroism.
  • Race (RhbNote: an illusion) is not the measure of any person; and it is faulty logic to generalize the success, failure or attributes of one individual to a group.
  • That Joe Louis, a Black American, and so many others, died poor and Max Schmeling was financially successful says something about the effect of discrimination on human potential.
  • But the greatest lesson of all, can be summed up in Max Schmeling's own words below:

 

"I don't want anyone to say I was a good athlete, but worth nothing as a human being."  Max Schmeling  (1905-2005)

 

Rest In Peace Max Schmeling; I salute you.

Rhb


3:34:19 PM    comment []

Friday, February 04, 2005
 

Ossie Davis, actor, writer, director, civil rights champion died and a wonderful person.

Davis' mother and father never learned to read, raised the children with colorful stories.  Quoting Davis, "They took life and broke it in little pieces and fed it to us like little birds". 
This is what I am trying to do with my stories and commentary for myself and for you the readers of this blog.

I salute the life of Ossie Davis and the continuing life of his equally great wife of 57 years, actress extraordinaire and civil rights champion, Ruby Dee.  Note:  I still see in my minds eye, Ruby Dee starring in the 1972 Public Television production of  the Lorraine Hansberry's "To Be Young, Gifted and Black", one of my all time favorite plays.

I encourage you to listen to the 4 minutes 30 second segment on Ossie Davis' life on All Things Considered on the National Public Radio's Web Site, February 4, 2005:  Ossie Davis, actor, writer, director, civil rights champion died. 

Rhb


10:55:03 PM    comment []

Thursday, February 03, 2005
 

Smart employers hire you, not because of what you have done, but because of what they think you will do.

What you have done is only one indicator of what you will do.
If you have relevant experience: use it to add substance to what you will do in the new job.
If you do not have relevant experience: use other means to convey that you understand the challenge of the job and are equipped to do it. That in addition to your understanding of the job, you bring specific additional assets to the table that will enable you to be successful.

E.g.:

  • Question: What experience do you have in analyzing 'recipe ingredients'
  • Answer: I realize the job requires the ability to analyze "nutrient value of recipe" [RhbNote: notice I did not say the job requires Experience this subtle shift in words places the emphasis on where it belongs -- ability]. Analyzing ingredients, involves determining confirming the ingredients using standard lab techniques and looking up the appropriate nutrient values in the ... tables ... such as those in ... book. [RhbNote: by explaining how you would do the job, you have established at least a base level understanding of the process]. The difficulty arise in making judgment calls about the effect of processing on the ingredients and ... [RhbNote: by reference the subtleties you demonstrate an deeper awareness]. I realize I will have to work extra hard to develop the finesse [RhbNote: a legitimate, but correctable concern] ... but as you will hear from my references I am a hard work and I won't disappoint you in this regard [RhbNote: I personally tend to favor someone who understands their weaknesses and are prepared to address them; but notice this last clause was inserted to finish the sentence not on a possible weakness, but on a strength]

Please, please bear in mind that normally the goal is to get a job you will be successful in; not to just get a job. Your goal is not to mislead; but rather put your strengths and weaknesses in perspective so that you and the employer can reliably evaluate your fitness for the job.

Preparation is the key to a good interview. If you are not an expert in the subject are, talk with someone who is. They can give you subtleties, indicate critical skills as well as determining whether you really are qualified for the job.

Rhb


11:26:57 PM    comment []

Wednesday, February 02, 2005
 

Ego is an illusion.
Sometimes it is an illusion we show to others; to hide that which we don't like about ourselves or embellish that which we do.
It comes at a price: fear of discovery or false hopes of discovery; heightened sense of inadequacy or of adequacy; and the effort required to keep the image up.
It also means that it is harder for others to truly know us; and therefore to truly appreciate us.

Other times & more devastatingly, it is an illusion we show ourselves.
Devastating because if we are not successful in hiding ourselves from ourselves, the reality will gnaw at us. 
Devastating because if we are successful in hiding ourselves from ourselves then we cannot know or truly appreciate ourselves.

Rhb


 


11:40:30 PM    comment []

Tuesday, February 01, 2005
 

A recent question: "Do you have to enjoy everything you do?"

Of course not, many things "we have to do" are very unpleasant or even painful.
However, a little effort can make the mundane or boring pleasant or even joyful or enriching; so why not?

For example:

  • Washing dishes "mindfully": Being aware of what we are doing; noticing the feel of the water, the sounds, noticing the patterns of soap bubbles.
  • Washing dishes "meditatively": Stilling our mind and focusing on what we are doing, gently pushing aside other intruding thoughts and returning our thought just to the task at hand.
  • Washing dishes with music: Washing to the rhythm of the music (for this my favorite is Reggae, especially Bob Marley and the Wailers 'Legend' album).
    In fact, for me, music seems to add enjoyment to almost everything.
  • Making cutting the grass an exercise:  How fast can you push the power mower?
  • Doing Tai Chi in the airport waiting or a late plane.
  • Reading anytime while waiting; or napping.
  • ...

The message is a moment of preparation, thought and a little creativity can turn the boring into the relaxing; the tedious into the interesting; drudgery into growth and enhancement.
Why not?

Rhb


11:23:07 PM    comment []

Saturday, January 29, 2005
 

First seek to understand, then seek to be understood. Steven Covey

A young poet friend called to say hello today.  In our conversation, "trying to talk with welling meaning parents who won't hear you", came up.  How do you talk "with" someone who keeps talking over you?

In my judgment, you can't talk "with" someone who does not want to listen.  You either have to wait until they want to listen or entice them to want to hear what you have to say.


If a person is angry or otherwise experiencing strong emotions, then it is difficult, perhaps impossible, for them to hear you, let alone understand your point of view. 
Sometimes, it is better to wait.

Here are some strategies for being heard:

  • Analyze why aren't you being heard -- so you can respond appropriately (see below for examples and specific strategies).
  • Make sure you are not the problem - the one who is not listening or "one of the two" who is not hearing.
  • Remember that it is difficult to outtalk someone who is not listening; if they are thinking of what they want to say; they are not hearing what you are saying.  Talking louder or faster is not going to make a difference.
  • Make sure you are hearing them. Pause and then compose your thoughts and your words. Then speak.  The fewer the words required to get your message across, the more likely you can take advantages of short openings.
  • Here are some general and non-threatening approaches to enticing someone to listen to you.
    • 1st tier approach: gentle nudging and reminders
      • You are explaining your point of view; they start talking over you, not allowing you to finish or ignoring what you have said
      • Let them finish talking; there is no point in trying to talk to someone who is concentrating on their own words and feelings
      • When there is a pause -- say: "I'm sorry, I had not finished, as I was saying ..." (pick up repeating the essence of your last point and continue on); If they have changed the point of the discussion and moved on to another point, it might be necessary to reestablish context.
      • If this approach is not effective after a few tries, decide if it is worth it; if so move to the next tier.
    • 2nd tier approach: establish that they want to hear your opinion
      • You are explaining your point of view; they start talking over you, not allowing you to finish or ignoring what you have said
      • Let them finish talking; there is no point in trying to talk to someone who is concentrating on their own words and feelings
      • When there is a pause -- gently ask: Would you like to hear my thoughts/feelings/... about ...?
        • If the answer is no: there is no point in saying anymore, other than, perhaps, simply "I disagree/ I see it differently/..." and move on.
        • If the answer is yes:
          • Start again at the point just before you were interrupted to reestablish context.
          • Try to express your thoughts concisely and deliberately; then pause and allow them to  respond; no point in outrunning them
          • If you are interrupted, repeat the process or move to a higher tier
    • 3rd tier approach: let them know you are hearing them  (often people talk over you because they do not feel you have heard them)
      • You are explaining your point of view; they start talking over you, not allowing you to finish or ignoring what you have said
      • Let them finish talking; there is no point in trying to talk to someone who is concentrating on their own words and feelings
      • When there is a pause --  declaring that you heard them is not convincing; rather, with no purpose other than to assure them you have heard them (this means no sarcasm, changing their tone, etc.), repeat in your words what you are hearing them say, if you can encapsulate their fears or other feelings, even better.  Likewise if you can capture their concern for you or the situation it is better yet (e.g.:  I know you are concerned that I will be hurt because ... their point).
      • Often, hearing the words, they will refine what they are thinking and saying; if so repeat what you heard again, continuing until they feel you have heard that point and they are ready to move on.
      • Then try the 1st or 2nd tier approach. 
      • Each time you are talked over, try again
    • 4th tier approach: write what you are hearing them say
      • This is similar to the 3rd tier approach, except, write point for point what you are hearing them say, ideally where they can see the points written
        • Often people are so caught in their feelings, that they don't really hear what they are saying or don't realize you have heard them
        • Writing it so that they can see allows them to focus their attention and see for themselves not only that you heard them but allow them to hear themselves.  It also allows them to direct their feelings at the paper or the writing, not at you.
          Note:  I have actually had someone to angrily push their finger repeatedly into a flipchart declaring: "That's what I am trying to say! It is about time you heard me!"
        • Then try the 1st or 2nd tier approach, the goal here is to try to establish a dialogue
      • My poet friend's approach is to write a letter: "It is hard to talk back to a letter." he says.
        • RhbNote: not all communication requires a dialog
    • 5th tier: disengage from the conversation
      • Clearly, how you do this depends on the situation and what is at stake.  Don't let pride cause you to do something foolish.
        • If you are able to, the response is:  I value what you have to say, but I must follow my own judgmentjudgment
        • If discussing it later is an option, try again later
        • If it is not important: drop it
      • If the conversation is truly important, get a professional to help; or get someone else to deliver your message

 

  • Some possibilities reasons you are not being heard or given a chance to express yourself:
    • Habit, parents in particular are often use to expressing themselves and expecting their child to "listen and obey", a habit that can continue into their child's adulthood
      • The first or second approach above might be effective
    • They think by talking:
      • Let them; be patient
      • Try one of the above approaches
    • Don't like what they are hearing:
      • Acknowledge their feelings
      • Try one of the above approaches
    • Can't believe what they are hearing:
      • Acknowledge their disbelief; try to ascertain it's roots; address the roots
      • Try one of the above approaches
    • Opinionated: many times people are so sure that they alone have the right idea, that they cannot here anyone else
      • Strategy:  Plant seeds and let them germinate; try asking legitimate (not rhetorical) questions
      • Try one of the above approaches
    • It has become a contest
      • Conflict is how we grow and learn to understand  each other; contest is where winning becomes more important than understanding
      • It takes at least two to have a contest;  keep your cool.  If the discussion is not important - don't compete; if the discussion is important; then try one of the approaches above, trying to communicate - not to compete
    • Strong feelings:
      • Wait
      • Acknowledge the feelings
      • Try one of the above approaches being mindful and respectful of the feelings involved
    • Like to here themselves talk:
      • If the need to communicate is real, try one of the approaches above; otherwise walk away; or for fun: "Argue with rock!"
    • Rudeness:
      • Why bother

 Rhb


11:33:31 PM    comment []

Thursday, January 27, 2005
 

Time can be spent, but it cannot be earned.
Time can be invested, but it cannot be saved.
Time can be given, but it cannot be borrowed.
Time can be neither bought nor sold.
Time cannot be killed; nor can it be stolen.
Time can be wasted.
And notwithstanding the Theory of Relativity, for the participant - as opposed to the observer, time cannot be accelerated or slowed down.
Time can only be used: well used, so-so used, badly used, or misused.

I was asked how does one maintain so many interests and accomplish so many things?
A part of the answer: Make good use of the time available to you.
One simple strategy: at the end of an hour or a few hours or a day, ask yourself: "Am I pleased with the use I made of that hour, that few hours, that day?"
Repeat the uses you are pleased with; don't repeat the uses you are not.

Another strategy is to ask: "What is the best use of my next hour, few hours or day?"

Time management books will advise you to track your time and analyze its use. In so doing you can educate yourself about your use of time; and at least in theory, do a better job in the future. However, for many, one of the two questions above are quick and easy, and provide immediate feedback without taking a lot of time.

Knowing what is important to you and what you want to accomplish with the rest of your life or day or hour can facilitate you making the best use of time.

Time should be used:

  • to maintain and enhance your health and well being;
  • for accomplishment or growth;
  • for enjoyment;
  • for enriching the lives of others;
  • ...

Doing nothing is not necessarily a waste of time; whereas doing the wrong thing may be.

Perhaps the greatest gift you can give someone who feels that they time is running out, is some of your time. The less time they feel they have left, the more they are likely to value the gift of time. I suspect this is true for someone facing a tight deadline. I have seen this to be true for those who are older and feel their time is nearly up.

The extent to which I have lived a full life and have had some level of accomplishment can likely be traced to a decent use of the time afforded me.

Rhb


10:17:54 AM    comment []

Wednesday, January 26, 2005
 

Recently, a new friend said she was interested in learning more about the Civil Rights Era.  Hearing about my father's involvement in the Civil Rights Movement,  she asked me to suggest some references.  Here is my reply to her.

Stephanie, it was a delight to meet you. As promised here are a couple of books that might interest you:

 

Eyes On The Prize, America's Civil Rights Years, 1954-1965. by Juan Williams, a companion Volume to the PBS Television Series.

This book is well written and is illustrated.  There is also an extensive companion website (http://pbsvideodb.pbs.org/resources/eyes/); and Blockbusters carried the videos the last I checked (at least in my neighborhood - a year or so ago).

Note: that in Eyes on the Prize index my father's name is misspelled: "Wiles Branton", in the text it is correctly spelled "Wiley Branton".  If you have trouble locating a copy of this one, let me know.

 

Civil Rights Chronicle; The African-American Struggle for Freedom, by Clayborne Carson

This book is heavily illustrated and goes by decades from the 1900s to the 1990s.   It has been on sale for as little as $20.00 on Bargain Book Sections.

 

I suspect the first one is more to what you are looking for.  I recommend an illustrated book as the pictures can convey a sense of the times that text alone cannot.

 

I have an extensive library and if you are interested in additonal references, I will be happy to suggest some,  including a couple that address more of my father's specific contributions.  However, I think the above books would give you a better overall context. If you want a quick overview of my father's life, this link is a pretty good: http://www.arkansasblacklawyers.net/branton.html . You could also google:  "Wiley Branton" and get several hits including remembrances by editorial writers and others. 

 

You also expressed a new found interest in history, I can also recommend some of my favorite general World and American History books depending on your interest.

 

 

I hope you find your exploration of this era interesting, enlightening and inspiring,

 

Rhb

 

 


12:03:18 AM    comment []

Thursday, January 20, 2005
 

Experience is what you get if you don't get what you expected (annon);
  provided you are willing to learn from what you got.  Rhb

Experience is a harsh teacher, but fools will have none other. Annon

An enlighted person can know the next city without leaving his cave. Rhb Paraphasing Dao De Jing

 


12:00:25 AM    comment []

Thursday, January 13, 2005
 

""Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear.""
12:46:46 AM    comment []

Tuesday, January 11, 2005
 

"My future starts when I wake up every morning... Every day I find something creative to do with my life."  
         Miles Davis via Motivational Quotes of the Day
 
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life"
 
Another day is perhaps the most useful thing that a healthy person has;  what you do with that day goes a long way in determining your future, your happiness and your contributions.  Rhb
 

For years, I have made a point of trying to learn one thing everyday solely because I am interested and not because I need to or have to.   In practice, I end up with somewhere between 200 and 250 things a year.  I have been doing this for more than 30 years.  It is amazing what interesting things one can know after 30 years.  Sometimes, the things are random, but most of the time they are focused on a subject for a period of time.  Examples from my past:

  • Being able to name, tie and use each of the 88 classified knots (at least that was the number 20 years ago)
  • Being able to identify the 80 or so constellations visible from Atlanta and various places I have traveled.
  • The names and functions of major muscles in the body (still in progress)
  • Elementary languages (Mandarin - interrupted by times demands - to be resumed this year at 15min to 30 minutes a day, German, French, others planned)
  • Morse code (including the ability to copy at 15 words a minute -- still in progress)
  • Various quotations
  • Thoughts, sayings, etc. from major religions
  • Poems
  • Jokes
  • ... .
  •  

The most surprising thing to me is how often I have been wrong  in thinking that a subject will have limited utility at the time I learned it.  When you know something, a use comes up.

Learning something is only one thing you can do with a part of your day.  A day is loaded with possibilities for: enhancing your health, enhancing a friendship or relation, bring joy to someone else, making money, making a contribution,  enjoying and rejuvenating yourself, just sitting and thinking. 

A "mind is a terrible thing to waste" is a long time slogan of the United Negro College Fund -- so is a day. 

Rhb 


11:45:56 PM    comment []

Over the holidays I went to the Atlanta High Museum of Art to see an exhibit "Van Gogh to Mondrian: Modern Art From the Kroller-Muller Museum".  I went with one of my sons, my business partner and two of his daughters each of which I count as close friends.  Prior to the exhibit I shared my "process" for viewing art (visual, written, music, drama, gardens, whatever).  I don't consider it perfected and I don't go through the whole process for all pieces but it has served me well.   It can be remembered by the acronym: ACTIST or somewhat 'cludgedly' ARTIST.  Hear are highlights:

  • A - Attraction or Appeal:  Does the work attract your attention;  how do you feel about it?  It is not so much as do you like it, but rather does it elicit a response in you.  This requires no training although what appeals to you tends to become more sophisticated and subtle as you gain knowledge and experience.
  • C or R [a little more cumbersome] - Craftsmanship/cRaftsmanship:  How well executed is the work.  Does it exhibit technical control and mastery.
  • T - Technique/Technical/Tools of the Trade.  How well does the work employ the technology of the medium from a design, rather than execution, perspective ; for visual art, how is color, space, form, ... used.  Note, while it is sometimes difficult to separate Craftsmanship from Technique a piece of work can be well conceived but poorly executed or vice versa.  Some minimal training is helpful in recognizing the tools and techniques of the trade and being able to judge their use.
  • I - Interpretation/Inner Meaning:  Most, perhaps all art is an interpretation of something, even the most abstract art is an interpretation of 'abstractness' or of some technical aspect of the medium or the subject.  The question here is how well does the art interpret the subject;  does the interpretation come through.  Knowledge of the genre, the artist, the times and historical context is quite helpful here.  Especially helpful is background knowledge on the work itself.  Studies and sketches can also give great insight.  An exhibit catalog can reveal insights only visible to art scholars. Even so, with very little background, one can deepen one's understanding of the art.
  • S - Synergy (the whole is greater than the expected sum of the parts) does the work fit together, do the technique and interpretation and craftsmanship and appeal match to create something better or bigger than any one of the parts. Some knowledge and experience is helpful here
  • T - Transcendence:  does the work rise above the limitations of the medium or a representation and present a greater truth; or is awe inspiring or spiritual in nature.  Is a bigger than "a picture"  or a "musical score"; does it lift you up or take you to another place, perhaps a place that only exist in imagination.   Works of art that are transcendent tend to have long lives and to live across generations and cultures.  They tend to be called great, long after the original context is history.  Therefore, they tend to speak to great truths about nature or about human existence; or about great beliefs.  Generally, the great works of art can speak to us, without us having much training or knowledge, albeit, such training and knowledge can deepen our appreciation.

A final word:  sometimes I go through each of these elements for a single painting.  Sometimes I do it in two or more visits to the work; with research or reading in between.  My personal favorite approach for a great exhibit is to go through the exhibit once with only minimal preparation and focus first on Attraction and visceral reaction.  Note: my preparation typically involves refreshing my memory on the artist background 1-2 pages; the genre 1-2 pages and the historical context 1-2 pages of my favorite reference books. After the first visit to the exhibit, I study the catalog (for an art exhibit or analysis for a play or a musical score) and then revisit the exhibit looking more closely at the pieces I am especially drawn to, with an emphasis on the "RTIST" part of the acronym.

Rhb


12:03:00 AM    comment []

Wednesday, December 22, 2004
 

"The secret of a man who is universally interesting is that he is universally interested." - William Dean Howells, American author (1837-1920).

Homo sum, humani a me nihil alienum puto'
Man I am, humanity to me not alien think.  Rhb transliteration
I am a person, therefore all that concern people is of interest to me.  Rhb paraphrase

First seek to understand, then seek to be understood.  Steven Covey
First seek to be interested, then seek to be interesting. Rhb

The secret to being a great date is to be interested in your date.  Paraphrase of Albert Ellis in Sex and the Single Man

Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back. Unknown


11:15:37 PM    comment []

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
 

I have this dear friend, Abby.  She is extremely smart; smarter than she realizes.  She is also extremely pretty; prettier than she realizes.  She also does not realize what a responsibility each of these are; or what a joy and what a burden each can be.  As she matures -- I have high expectations. Rhb
11:30:55 AM    comment []

Saturday, December 18, 2004
 

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. Dan Stanford

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you are expecting.  Rhb?
  Provided you are willing and able to learn from the surprise.  Rhb

Experience is a harsh teacher.  It provides the test first and then the lesson.  Kipling?

Experience is no substitute for understanding.  Rhb

Experience vs Exposure is determined by what you take away. Rhb

One can be in a job 10 years and have only 2 years of experience; provided that the 2nd year is repeated 9 times. Unknown.
To count as experience, you have to be different at the end of each year. Rhb

Without going outside, you may know the whole world.
Without looking through the window, you may see the ways of heaven.
The farther you go, the less you know.
Thus the sage knows without traveling;
He sees without looking;
He works without doing.

 Dao De Jing (Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching; as Translated by Feng & English

 

 


12:26:10 AM    comment []

Thursday, December 09, 2004
 

Shortcuts make for long delays.   J.R.R. Tolken

 

If a shortcut is a quicker & cheaper way of getting somewhere: why isn't it the "normal path"?
Because, as Little Red Ridding Hood discovered: "there are wolves in those woods";
  or the path may be washed out;
  or the bridge gone;
  or it might be dark and you might get lost.

The principle of Conservation of Long Cuts:  "The positive gained, must be offset to some degree by a negative". 
For example:  we trade safety (a higher level of risk) for speed.  We trade quality for cost. 

Sometimes it is a fair trade; sometimes we win; most times we loose.

This is not to say one should never take shortcuts. It's just that much of the time; shortcuts are not shorter and we pay a double penalty.  Therefore, before we decide not to measure twice to ensure that we will only have to cut once, we better think twice.

Rhb

 

12:19:54 AM    comment []

Wednesday, December 08, 2004
 

For ideas to have meaning, 
  -- they must be understood.

For ideas to have wings
  -- they must be shared.

For ideas to have depth
  -- they must be challenged.

For ideas to have life 
  -- they must be experienced.

For ideas to make a difference
  -- they must be lived.

Rhb


12:33:14 AM    comment []

Tuesday, December 07, 2004
 

Giving and receiving are different folds in the same piece of cloth.  Kung Fu TV Series

 

And you receivers - and you are all receivers - assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.
Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the free-hearted earth for mother, and God for father.  Kahlil Gibran on Giving in the Prophet.

 

I did not truly understand the Kung Fu quote until our company was having financial problems.  It resulted from several of our clients deciding to downsize their staff and put projects we were working on, on hold.  My business partner and I had skipped several of our paychecks. I was running short of money and in jeopardy of falling behind in my house payment.   One of my sisters live in Atlanta, as did I.   I knew if I were to ask her for help, she would if she could.   As the oldest sibling of six I took pride in looking out for my siblings and was proud that they could come to me if they needed anything; yet I was reluctant to go to them when I needed help.  I would have been truly hurt to find out otherwise.  With unexplainable difficulty, I asked my sister for help and she immediately gave me the funds to pay my house note.  She also thank me for giving her the chance to do something for me for once.   For weeks I pondered my reluctance to ask for help.  I suddenly realized that if I were reluctant to ask for help; it was because I felt asking for help somehow diminished me or somehow obligated or burdened the person I asked.   If I unconsciously felt that asking for help diminishes the requestor then I must have felt that giving help elevated the giver relative to the receiver.  In other words, how could I truly be a gracious and humble giver if I could not be a gracious and humble receiver.  As a giver, was I secretly, albeit unaware, charging a small price or receiving a small reward for the gift?  Likewise, if I felt that merely asking, burdened a possible giver; did I feel similarly burdened when I was asked to help.  Or perhaps I judged that the giver would not have as generous a spirit as I would have; or would not be as honest with me (in their ability to help) as I felt I would have been with them. 

Only, by learning how to receive could I truly understand how to give.  I now realized the deeper meaning of  Kung Fu quote: "Giving and receiving are different folds in the same piece of cloth."  Beyond the obvious that without a receiver than cannot be a giver;  a requirement to be a true giver is also willing to ask for help and graciously receive it.   Giving and receiving are different folds in the same piece of cloth; neither makes one superior or inferior to another.   It is more "blessed" to give than to receive (Acts 20:35 Christian Bible) does not suggest that "the giver is better than the receiver".

Send then, I have the privilege and joy of being able to give and receive help from those I love and others; and feel better about each.

Rhb

 


1:39:17 AM    comment []

Sunday, December 05, 2004
 

See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving. Kahlil Gibran. On Giving in The Prophet
Note: read the complete chapter at: http://www.columbia.edu/~gm84/gibran5.html

To give a gift; one must have no requirement for reciprocity; indeed no desire or expectation.
If one expects as little as a "thank you"; then it is no longer a gift but an exchange or a barter:
something for acknowledgement or something for courtesy; or something for gratitude; or something for even more.
If there is an implied contract; or an obligation created -- then it is a sale.
This does not mean we cannot take pleasure in giving; but in so doing the pleasure is our payment.
This does not mean we cannot take satisfaction in a gift being used, appreciated or cherished; but the satisfaction is our payment.
The best gifts are set free; then the giver cannot be disappointed; and would not think to extract payment from the receiver.
More importantly, the receiver would not feel obligated. Rhb

Perhaps tomorrow I will write on receiving.


11:54:14 PM    comment []

Friday, December 03, 2004
 

"Father, forgive them--for they know not what they do" . Jesus Christ per King James version of the Christian Bible. Luke. 23:34.

 

Most harm is done without true malice and out of ignorance.  Racism and other such 'isms are are reaction to fear, discomfort and/or a personal sense of valueless-ness & insecurity.

What does one do when one is afraid and feel cornered, not by you -- but by a changing world from which there is no escape?

Perhaps snarl and strike out.

What does one do when one feels unvalued by society and is downing in insecurity? 

Prehaps attack their demons through those who are different,
hoping the attack would provide a momentary life perserver
or at least a respite from their pain; pushing themselves up by push others down.

Seldom do people truly try to harm "you"; rather they are trying to to do something for themselves and you, like an inocent bystander, are hit by the crossfire.  Rhb

 

NOTE: a future post will address -- how not to be hurt.

 


11:31:09 PM    comment []

Thursday, December 02, 2004
 

I once read what was reportedly a true story of an executive touring an Information Technology office with the head of that office.  Everyone they came upon was busily typing or writing; save one - staring off into space. 

  • Executive: "What is he doing?"; 
  • IT head: "Thinking.";
  • Executive: "Why isn't he working?"

Man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought.
There is a visible labor and there is an invisible labor.  Victor Hugo

And there is also incubation during which one is not even absorbed in thought; but from which come many breakthroughs.  Rhb

Many a thorny problem is solved during a nap; over a cup of coffee or tea; playing a guitar or otherwise making music; or just sitting.  Rhb


10:52:06 PM    comment []


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