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	Saturday, September 04, 2004

What’s the Bad News? A civil servant is badly hurt, after falling down the stairs at city hall.  He is taken to the hospital where he remains in a coma for several days. Finally an eye opens and his doctor tells him, " my friend, I have bad news and I have good news.  first of all you'll never be able to work again. " " Okay", muttered the injured bureaucrat. " What's the bad news?"     My Beemer!   A businessman was rushing to his next appointment when he figured in a car accident. He hastily got out of his car as he surveyed the damage while all the time wailing loudly, “ Oh my Beemer!”   A bystander commented, “ Hey, you guys are becoming so materialistic. Didn’t you notice that your arm has been cut off?”   The man looks at his arm, and wailed, “ Oh, my Rolex! “     We were all Lions!   A mouse was busy making preparations because his brother, the lion was getting married.   “ How can the lion be your brother, when you are a mouse.”, ask his friend.   The mouse grinned. " We were all lions before we get married."     A Texan Farmer In Australia   A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large." Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows." The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?" The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"       About the Devil   Two youngsters were walking home from Sunday School, each deep in his own thoughts. Finally one said, "What do you think about all this devil business we studied today?"   The other boy replied thoughtfully, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. This is probably just your Dad, too."       Aggravation, Irritation, and Frustration.   A boy asked his father what the difference was between aggravation, irritation, and frustration.   Dad picks up the Phone and dials a number. When the phone is answered, he asks, "Can I speak to Alf, please?"   "No! There's no one called Alf here." The call is terminated.   "That's irritation," said Dad.   He picked up the phone again,   He dialled the same number and asked for Alf again.   "No - there's no one here called Alf. Go away. If you call again I shall telephone the police." End of conversation.   "That's aggravation," said Dad.   "Dad, what's frustration?"   Dad picks up the phone and dials a third time.   The same person picks up the phone.   Dad says, "Hello. This is Alf. Has anyone left any messages for me?"   8:52:27 AM     comment []   trackback []