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	Friday, June 10, 2005

Marry for Love?  (tidbits) Stephanie Coontz, in her book, "Marriage, a History" contends that the widespread belief that you marry for love only started to be prevalent in the Western world 200 years ago.  Before that,  people (especially Asia) have always married to arrange child rearing, to pass on property, and to organize their life.  Until then, most choice of partners were not left to the couple; it was the parents and other respected community elders that made the match.  'Marriage was just a way to turn strangers into relatives, of making peace, of making permanent trading connections.' In fact, in early China, a Chinese aristocrat would have one wife and several mistresses.  There was no concept of jealousy -- in fact, it was the wife who actively looks for her husbands mistresses.  As Head Wife, her power grows as her husbands satisfaction with her selection grows, and as she have more mistresses to command under her. And surprisingly, most of these marriages lasted -- although it can be arguably said that many might not have been unions made in heaven.   No expectations -- no disillusions.  Only that it was part of the way society works.   Now, Koontz says, with the unprecedented concept of love, more and more people every year are separating.  Marriage, it seems, have become a commitment to stay together -- until someone better comes along, or until somebody starts to think that they are actually better without it.  Thus, she concluded, the concept of romance have actually gone a long way to wreck family stability. Where would the institution of marriage go next?       6:18:16 PM     comment []   trackback []