Friday, December 10, 2004

Vows of Stability Some time ago, when I was in a particularly deep hole, needing to hold my life and work together, I began to do some reading in Benedictine Spirtuality, and the whole notion of "stability" struck me. To somehow see that God is present in all the places of our lives, and that to simply get up and move when things get disastrous is to yield to the illusion that God is "over there" somewhere, and not here. Not now. Not in this place. So I wrote a few things, wondering what it might be like for a reluctant writer, having wandered through various other disciplines looking for God only knows what, to sit down and write a few words that would help him stay the course, simply not quit. I came across the results in my files this morning, and thankfully, in another period of panic inducing entropy, they were helpful. Maybe they will be for you. Substitute whatever you do for "write" and speak as needed. § The first: I vow to attend. Attend: to be present, to take care of, to watch over, and in an archaic listing, to wait for, or expect. I vow to come to the work, to show up, to attend my appointments. The work is my charge, my call, my talent given by the Master, and I will attend to it. This morning, this very morning, I will take up that charge and nurture it, cultivate it, send it into the world with care. I will recognize its nature, its unhurried pace of arrival, and I will wait quietly, diligently, persistently. Whether the work knocks on my door, or I knock at its door, I will hover near a door that opens both ways, and wait. In waiting, I will apply muscular force. I will put one word, then another, pushing one sentence forward, then another. Unafraid of the inevitable end of writing, cessation, I will press on, emptying my reservoir of words. I will daily drain the well, begging God to fill it again tomorrow. It is on his watch I write, on his nickel, his talent. If he does not fill me here, I will be empty. But then, I will attend the emptiness, ...and write one more word. 10:28:46 AM    comment []

© Copyright 2004 Jeff Berryman .