"Where are we going?"
We live in a world where goals are everything, the key to happiness. I once ran with a group of people who said success was the progressive realization of worthwhile dreams and goals. I suppose that's fair. But what did Jesus mean when he says to Nicodemus in John 3, "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."
These days, I'm feeling a bit windblown. There is much good to do in projects all around. I am months down the road on the establishment of new theatre company to focus specifically on the Arthur plays, seeking to move theatre form itself forward. The Arts Ministry at the Northwest Church is up and running, though perhaps not very fast as of yet. There is still much work to be done on the novel, and the Christmas musical at church is beginning to take shape and promises to be a very strong evening.
All that said, I keep thinking about--meditating on, obsessing over--the deeper calls of life, the core issues of heart and mind, all for God. When I think about how to hold the disparate strains of my life together, I come back to this thought: bringing glory to God, spread the kingdom, do good to those we can, serve as we have strength, and learn to rest in the arms of the Christ.
This is where the wind keeps blowing me.
The wind keeps challenging me to let go of ambition, of novelty, the need for acceptance among peers and professions, and simply turn my face to God and do the work He's asking me to do. It's simple really, all issues of character and right (no, not on the political continuum) living--penetrate reality, tell the truth, learn a craft, work a craft, love as you go, don't give up, trust Jesus as a true person who is there (or here, if you prefer), accept, believe and realize that God's power and presence is operating today, in this here and now as it always has. Love, show up for work, dig deep when we give, don't lie. Look up, be humble, don't be afraid, and if you are keep going anyway, and leave results in God's hand.
And pray. God is teaching me about prayer. And the lessons are not always pleasant. Somehow there is a belief out there that answered prayer is the last word on the subject. Yes, God answers prayer, sometimes in astonishing ways, and I am convinced that I have yet to touch the hem of that garment. But I am also convinced that prayer is about relationship with God, and that that relationship is full of what all relationships are full of: discovery, disappointment, growth, fights, longings, ecstasies, and losses. Prayer feels like all of those things. My talks with God in the past six months have run the gamut, and I'm constantly being reminded of what Thomas Merton said, that the feelings running in the life with God are rarely the thing. Don't be buried by the silence (in fact, enter into it), and don't be swept away by the ecstatic answers (though dear God, please bring them on.) It's not a matter of seeking the safe middle ground, it's a matter of realizing there are seasons in the life with God, and returning to Him over and over no matter what the weather.
The wind is blowing me these days, and sometimes it feels pretty chaotic. But as my friend Jeffrey Overstreet said the other day, the chaos is a lie. All things work together, and God holds the pattern and design.
So where are we going?
To borrow a thought from yet another Jeffrey in my life, my good friend Jeffrey Crouch, we are sailing, and though we know the general direction of the shore--and for me, that direction means Kingdom of God, the pursuit of truth and love through family, service and art, and mor--and we can use the rudders and sail to keep our heading, the wind has much to say about the overall journey, and we fight it to our peril. We must learn to sail with elegance, bowing our will to the stronger force in those moments when such things are plain. God will not abandon us, and the wind will not die.
We are going on, learning to travel light...
10:24:37 PM 
