Spreading the aloha of Macintosh, Hawaiian music and island culture from the sunset side of Haleakala volcano on the wonderful island of Maui

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Thursday, March 17, 2005

Banana Guns and Floridiots Fun with Farm Implements and Fruit Residents of the Sunshine State continue to show the effects of bad schools, worse drugs and good weather. From the AP: Police: man used pitchfork to rob Key West bank KEY WEST, Fla. - A man used a pitchfork to rob a bank Wednesday, police said. Fred Simunovic, 47, of Key West, was charged with armed robbery after police spotted him at the Key West ferry terminal, trying to sail to Fort Myers. Police said Simunovic entered the Keys Federal Credit Union with a pitchfork in a trash bag and told a teller: "I'm dying of AIDS, I'm homeless and I'm robbing you." After threatening the teller with the pitchfork, he ran out with an undisclosed amount of money and discarded the garden tool behind the bank, Detective Sgt. Donie Lee said. Police found Simunovic at the terminal after the ferry captain refused to let him board because he appeared intoxicated. After Simunovic consented to a search, police found $1,859 in cash on him, and said he could not explain where the money came from. But that's not all! Great Britain also has its share of idiots: Robber Jailed After Using Banana As Weapon "He said he has a gun, but it might be a banana." LONDON -- Robert Downey had the mask and the attitude to be a successful robber. But he ruined the effect when he tried to stage a hold-up at his local bookmaker's shop -- using a banana. Noting the suspicious bend in the so-called "weapon," the clerk calmly called the police and on Wednesday, Downey was jailed for nearly seven years for attempted robbery.... Donning a mask, he headed for the bookmaker's shop, pausing only to get a banana from the greengrocer on the way. In the bookmaker's, he pointed the fruit wrapped in a plastic bag, screaming, "I want the money or I will (expletive) shoot you." This did not produce the desired effect: assistant Peter Humphrey calmly turned to a colleague and said: "He said he has a gun, but it might be a banana." There was no mention as to whether Mr Downey had ever lived in Florida. 1:16:47 PM    comment []