When centering Myself for prayer I find that there is a confusing element in my heart; I call this the pull of the senses. On the other hand, there is that lifting of the Spirit unto God, which I identify as assent to faith. This assent is not the leaving of the body but an integration of the body and spirit unto God-this I identify as the 'Spirit of the Incarnation.'

St. Thomas and St. Damascene taught about lifting of our mind to God or unveilling our mindsw to God who sees our intentions adn heart within; this is the asceticism that comes from a TO-GOD life. Though it is TO-GOD is is not AWAY form humanity, rather I find myself pulled into a compassionate feeling in a greater hope for humanity. This is a hopoe which experience distinguishes from what is given. Anyway, repeating the Name of Jesus is a consoling aspect of this Prayer.

I know that this is part of what is means to search for Orthodoxy in my life; it is a questing after God, which St. Benedict called 'a searching for God.' This knowledge of God, which is called spiritual is talked about frequently by the Desert Fathers and Hesychastic Fathers. I find myself strained to live this inner call of the Spirit of God, yet I know I should.

IP CRL