The uniqueness of your identity
This anecdote from the actor Bill Murray made me laugh. Stick with it through the golfing, the identity is there at the end!
I'm invited. You're not. I'm invited. You're not...
A FEW years back, I got invited to play in the Greater Milwaukee Open Pro-Am. The letter was quite amusing. "We're a small tournament, we have no TV, we've lost some sponsors, and we've also lost our site; we'll be playing this year on a public course. If there's any way you could make it, we sure would appreciate it."
This arrow somehow got through my chain mail. I phoned Milwaukee and a guileless woman verified the whole sob story. The event was months away, so 40 minutes passed as we discussed Badger beer, bars, brats, bands, and state troopers.
"August is beyond the range of my crystal ball," I said, "but it's possible. If I can make it, I will. It's been very nice talking to you. What's your name, ma'am?"
"Marion. What's yours?"
"I like the name Marion. My name is Bill Murray."
"Are you the Bill Murray?"
"Well, I'm a Bill Murray."
"OK. Hope you can make it. Bye-bye."
"Bye-bye."
Two months later, I'm in the payphone in Pauly's parking lot. An officious man's voice says: "Greater Milwaukee Open."
"Yes, I'd like to know what time the Pro-Am starts tomorrow morning, and if there's a practice range to hit on early."
"That information should be in the packet that was sent to you, sir."
"No packet was received. See, I wasn't sure I'd be able to come . . ."
"If you did not receive a packet . . . you are not playing in the Pro-Am, sir. The packets were sent out a month ago, and everyone who is playing has received theirs."
"But I was invited, and I called a couple of months ago . . ."
"A . . . couple . . . of . . . months. . . ago . . ."
"And I think I received letters after that . . ."
"You talked to someone a couple of months ago, sir? The packets were sent out to all those playing in the Pro-Am. If you did not receive a packet . . ."
"But I think they're expecting me."
"You are not expected, sir. No one is expecting you. I guarantee you. If you did not receive a packet, then you are not expected."
" . . . Is there a Marion there?"
"Hold on, please."
About a minute passed in Bunyan's gravel lot. Then a sweet woman's voice came across the phone.
"Is this a Bill Murray?"
The Times, 15 July 2005
8:49:29 AM 
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