Thursday, September 29, 2005

There was a recent thread on Widownet about the loss of our person to share important daily events with.  I've talked about this before and I was thinking about it now driving from work.  Part of being married is sharing your life with your spouse.  The little things that happen during the day and more importantly the big things that happen in each other's lives.  You get used to having someone to go to to share and to discuss the events and happenings. For widow/widowers that part of our lives (along with myriad other parts) is gone.  When there is an event for the girls, say the homecoming dance, or a flute recital, or skating competition, there isn't anyone to share the glow the pride in our daughters.  Not only that but it tends to end up raising the exact opposite feelings.  And that opposite feeling still tends to come at me slowly and quietly until I'm left wondering why I'm sad at such a happy occasion.  Instead of a wonderful feeling of pride and happiness there is a feeling of emptiness where you have all this excitement and pride and you are left searching for some one to share it with.  Or more accurately the reminder that she isn't here to share it with you.  It's not as much wanting to have someone to share these things with, it's wanting the person you used to share these things with to be there to share that experience. At some point in the grieving process I'm assuming (hoping) that that desire to share will become a desire to find someone to share with. 3:16:45 PM

© Copyright 2006 Rod Kratochwill.