Thursday, October 5, 2006

Todd is dreaming, as am I. I have two types of Cindy dreams. The first are dreams where everything is "normal". That is a dream that is set in an everyday setting, say, in the kitchen washing dishes, or sitting on the couch watching TV, or at a school event of some sort. And at some point I realize that Cindy is there and nothing seems odd about the situation, until somewhere way up there the conscious mind starts to realize what's going on deep down there in subconscious land and sends little hints to remind everyone that Cindy has been gone for quite a while now and this can't really be happening. At that point I get all excited and start telling her about all the things that have been happening without her for the past 4+ years. And at that point I always wake up. The second type of dream is one in which I am trying to understand why Cindy has left me. In these dreams again it appears that she is alive. But in this case she is alive but has left us and I haven't seen, heard, or talked to her for these many years. I am usually talking to one of her friends and trying to find out why she has left and why she won't talk to me. On a few occasions I will actually see Cindy and try to talk to her, ask her why she has left, and why she won't let me see her. She rarely ever responds in these dreams. The few occasions when she does she is very cryptic or evasive and my frustration level increases to a point that it sometimes wakes me up. This type of dream leaves me in a very uncomfortable state upon waking. All the emotions that I am experiencing are still there when I wake up and it take a good portion of the day for all the emotional brain chemical accumulation to equalize and things get back to "normal". 7:38:10 AM

© Copyright 2006 Rod Kratochwill.