Updated: 9/17/09; 1:34:41 AM.
'if' ...
What you alter in the remembering has yet a reality, known or not. - Cormac McCarthy
        

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Monday, September 8, 2003
> A.auschwitz dispatch

auschwitz birkenau : went to one of the buildings . . . noone there . . . on the door was a sign - press button and the light will remain on for 15 minutes . . . pressed button & light turned on . . . entered . . . a minute later the light was off . . . inside this place of death i was alone . . . deepest dark . . . i couldn’t make a sound . . . i concentrated only on a clear voice inside me saying “find the exit” . . . walked very slowly, carefully, fearfully . . . someone was pulling at my legs . . . another was calling from behind urging me to turn around . . . i choked . . . couldn’t breathe . . . finally i emerged into the bright strong sun . . . i was back in the world of the living and i sat down to breathe . . . i had been truly scared . . . it had been a long time since i had felt such fear . . . trapped in the dark of the place of the dead my mind had been very clear . . . there was no hesitation - no confusion . . . one simple thought . . . get out . . . (A. may 5, 2003: journal one of the summer travels)

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