'if' ..

Saturday, December 31, 2005

remembering

Theresa Spiess (Montalbetti)

April 24,1958 - December 21, 2005

Theresa
sister lost
currents run deep and quiet
a bond ardent beneath the pulse of life
voicing hope and strength your last words possessed a fierce caring
"saw the perfect gift for you" you spoke
soft, full tones betrayed all the suffering that tore at my gut
till when parting tears clenched my breath
echoing a merciless hollow cry

salt water flowed between us
now silence

flying to the place you called home
clouds below stars above
twilight

Is this what you gentle souls see departing?

hope rests resigned as if in transit
knowing redemption will come

i have no gifts and carry a vast void
an emptiness that embraces the living

memories soothe little
for the struggle whispers beauty
is to be present
where presence is tangibly lost

dearest Theresa
blood sister
ascend, descend, ascend
a thin rose line caresses the horizon between the sky and heaven
like a lock of your most delicate and fine red hair
the thin rose line
an angels path fleetingly clear fading into the invisible thread
guiding a tried and true love

eyes close in prayer
imagine
give peace a chance
to rest, to sleep, to awake
a new dawn born
in your eyes
sister found
at last
(morning of December 23 on plane to Hope,BC)

:: note :: . . . the picture above was taken a year before i left my family at nineteen departing on the journey called life . . . that was the face of the sister no matter how she aged i always remembered . . . an intense childhood contact was followed by sporadic adult meetings as our ways seldom crossed . . . many questions haunt . . . the largest being why do i miss her so much . . .