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more posts

Sunday, September 22, 2002    permalink
Fear and Trembling

The reality of the fact that my brother and sister-in-law are arriving tomorrow has just permeated the otherwise remarkably thick bony structure that contains my putative brains.

Amount of preparation I have done to-date for their arrival: None.

Condition of living space: derelict.

Loads of laundry needing attention: approx. 5.

Surfaces requiring dusting: at least a thousand.

Floors requiring vacuuming: all of them.

Floor requiring mopping: two (kitchen and bathroom).

Also, my refrigerator is its usual vacant self. I haven't done a proper grocery shopping in about a month (I've been eating hand-to-mouth).

My kitchen table is currently a metal-working station. Action must be taken.

Potential humiliation factor: huge.

Likelihood that I'll spend much of tomorrow morning in a cleaning frenzy: approaching 100%.

Likelihood that I'll thereafter mend my ways and stay on top of the housekeeping: approaching 0%.

11:58:27 PM    please comment []

The Great Chewing Gum Mystery

Horst Prillinger has posted a groundbreaking photo-essay on the chewing gum infestation of urban sidewalks.

However, as I commented to him, I am profoundly skeptical about this so-called chewing gum:

Funny you should be writing about this. I was recently commenting to a friend about the so-called chewing-gum blotches found all over EVERYWHERE on urban sidewalks. I asked her: When was the last time you saw someone on the street chewing gum? I couldn't remember ever seeing anyone even chew gum while walking down the street, never mind spitting it out in public. And if you consider the mass quantities of the so-called chewing gum blotches, statistically speaking you ought to see it all the time! I hardly know anybody who chews gum, but of those who do, not one of them would ever just toss it onto the sidewalk. Who are these purported barbarians, anyway?

In short, I don't believe it's chewing gum. That's the official government explanation for what is probably either some top secret program or an alien invasion. Or maybe it's some kind of nocturnal bird poop. Whatever. I just don't buy the chewing gum explanation.

Seriously now, how do we account for this? Have you, or has anyone you know, or anyone you've ever seen spit chewing gum onto the sidewalk? Think about it ~ that's a LOT of chewing gum! I think exactly once in my life have I stepped in a freshly discarded piece of gum. You'd think that would happen a lot more often too.

I know that there are special cleaning services who will remove the "chewing gum" from the sidewalk in front of your commercial establishment (not only have I read about them, I actually saw one of them at work outside a local Starbucks). My best theory now is that these people go around planting the chewing gum so that they can stay in business.

2:22:23 AM    please comment []

There's going to be a gathering of the clan in Boston in October. Everyone is pressuring me to attend. My father, the aunts, sister and husband, brother and wife.

Big family gatherings have always stressed me out, and with my mother no longer there to make things smooth... well.

You can read about a previous holiday family gathering, and other vicissitudes, in this edition of The Wayback Journal.

1:14:53 AM    please comment []



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