First thing this morning I learned that Rodney O. Lain took his own life over the weekend. He shot himself. The wound was not instantly fatal, and it took a day for him to die. He is survived by his wife.
I was stunned. I didn't know Rodney, but I knew Rodney. Through his writing online I had the kind of distant intimacy that we achieve with people whose minds, hearts, and wits we admire from afar, and whose way with words leads us to believe that we know something real about them. He was smart, he was funny, he was capable of genuine outrage, he was a provacateur. He felt like kin, like a member of my tribe. I looked forward to reading what he had to say ~ whether I agreed with it or not.
One of the things I didn't know about Rodney (and of course there were many), it turns out, was not only hidden from those of us who knew him at a distance, but also from some of his in-person friends. He had battled depression for a long time. His online circles are filled with voices speaking the anger, regret, and deep sorrow of people who really cared for him who wish they'd known, had at least had a chance to try to help.
The world is a less interesting place, a poorer place, a less charming place, a less rich place because Rodney is dead. I never met him, and I wish I had. I grieve for him, and for his wife. May he be received into the loving arms of the benevolent universe and the gracious God in whom he professed faith.
To read some of Rodney, visit his website, or do a Google search on "Rodney O. Lain" or "iBrotha" for things published elsewhere.
One last thing. Depression is a deadly disease. I know too many people who have died or nearly died of it. Chances are, you do too. Let's all learn as much as we can about suicide prevention and take care of one another. And if you are in despair, please please please talk to as many people as you can about your pain, and let them help you restore your health and rediscover reasons for living.
Write to me!
