Wow, doing some cleaning and stumbled upon a bad day. This was the Saturday after Maggie's birthday:
I went to Toys [backwards R] Us to pick up her new Barbie bike from Grandpa Stand. (not a typo, she thinks it’s his name and it cracks me up so I haven’t corrected her yet) SO I stroll into the chaos of this store on a Saturday morning with the intention of presenting my receipt, grabbing the assembled bike, and scrambling home. As I walked up to the customer service desk I was happy to see not one but two shifty looking manager types behind the counter in conference. By some miracle I was the only one in need of assistance so I placed my hand containing the receipt on the counter and cleared my throat. This did nothing but make these two huddle closer together. I figure they are discussing the current wave of area layoffs and how this will impact pokemon sales, so I give them a moment to finish. As I took 10 minutes to enjoy the mutant that was merchandizing the crate of 75% off Easter goods, I turned back to find a very polite woman saying “excuse me” with increasing volume towards the pair of customer servants. When she saw me looking she apologized and said she new I was first in line but she just wanted to know where an item might be found. No problem says I, hoping that she breaks one of these idiots loose from their mind meld so I can grab on afterwards. She is on her 10th or 11th repetition when Frick and Frack decide to try and escape out the other side. I’m roughly 15 minutes into a 5 minute trip so I’ve had all I can stands and I can’t stands no more. I firmly state in a semi shout that I think break time is over, now its back to work. With no apparent affect, I loudly exclaim, “get the manager up here because the 300lb guy is about to lose his shit.” This finally got a reaction, and it was the always infuriating – sir, there is no need to swear. This causes a flood of excrement to flow from my mouth but I manage to mention my mission and that of my polite cohort. As the two who had obviously experienced the likes of me before got ready for battle, a quick thinking teenaged cashier walked over, answered my counter mates question, and took my receipt to get the bike. I knew I had a minute or so to kill and the line behind me was just getting into the show. I opened with my observation that I now knew why Santa worked with elves ~ because the adult humans that choose to work with toys are scary mutations with poor dispositions. Just as the smoke from their churning brains was about to produce a witty retort, the Barbie bike floated over to me and I was on my way.
2 side notes: 1.) The part of me that wanted to drop the bike off and go back to the store for a pound of flesh has gone back into hibernation so everyone is safe. 2.) I know having the bike built was a questionable move. But, Stan likes to do it, and who am I to get in the way of a grandfathers fun. Besides, this thing is insane, basket/backpack, radio, streamers, spoke decorations, yikes.
12:00:00 AM 
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