Absolutely none of this should make sense or connect in any way except its all taking place in Tucson Arizona. (Somewhere just south of the surface of the sun) I sat in my car for fifteen minutes yesterday after work watching the alternative lifestyle gentlemen next door sexually harass the poor kids that were installing an awning on their bar. The establishment in question is the Yard Dog Saloon and it is the first bar that I have seen that comes with its own disclaimer next to the front door. A big sign reads "This is a gay establishment and if you have any problems with this fact please stay out" I am thoroughly entertained by the use of the word out on an openly gay sign but the limits of the English language sometimes lead to laughter. So I'm sitting in my car watching these poor workers slaving away with their shirts off while a gaggle of older queens sit critiquing. I could tell these younger men were uncomfortable in the MEAT role but it didn't stop the fellas from openly showing their delight. It was like I was in a trance and the spell was only broken when they looked through the fence and turned their attentions my way. The awning looked great this morning.
I'm working on a new diet based on the strung out crack heads around the office. None of them weigh more than a hundred pounds and they have extraordinary survival skills out in the sun. I need to find cures for the following negative side affects before my diet will become commercially viable. 1. Crack cocaine isn't considered "legal" in the United States. 2. The lack of front teeth needs to be addressed immediately. 3. I need to find some kind of medication to counteract the jitters and shaking but people use to taking ephedrine should be used to that.
It rains so hard down here it hurts. I think because clouds aren't normally allowed in our airspace when they do drift by they attempt to pound the crap out of us. Luckily the afore mentioned crack head homeless people get some exposure to water. The forced shower makes them look relatively clean but they smell like an evil cross between a barn and a zoo. I know this sounds elitist and cruel but I calls 'em as I sees/smells 'em.
As you may have guessed I do not work in the best part of town. According to the ex-Tucson vice cop that lives behind us it is the absolute worst. I have to tell you its dam entertaining and I would miss the area if we ever moved. My office window is a glimpse into the fascinating underbelly of Tucson and its better than TV.
