The Manly Arts

1. The Rule

Steve and Trudy and I stood on the deck while the grill sizzled and smoked. He was drinking a beer. She was drinking water. I was cooking our dinner.

Steve was telling us about the deck he added to his house -- how he knew nothing about doing it but just took it one step at a time. From the piers to the tongue-and-groove flooring to the shingles on the roof, he read books and talked to the guys at the hardware store. And he did it all himself.

I was impressed. Trudy was, too. I shook my head. Trudy smiled.

Well David doesn't really do well at those kinds of things, she said as she patted my on the shoulder.

It's true. I know it. She knows it. My whole family knows it. Where others (men and women) can learn these "manly" arts and and master them step by step, whenever I try them, they come out horribly wrong -- upside down, backwards, broken, or slightly askew.

There's no use fighting it. That's just the way it is.

(By the way, I over-cooked the sausage.)

2. The Exception to the Rule

Gregg waved me into his office. He had a new laptop but he couldn't figure out how to attach it to the security cord.

He showed me the laptop. He showed me the cord. And he explained what the instructions said. Then he showed me how every time he tried, the cord would just fall out onto the floor.

Here, let me show you the instructions, he said. They're in here somewhere, I think he said, and he handed me the laptop and cord.

He handed them to me. What? I am going to solve this problem? Certainly we've known each other long enough for him to know that I am not the man he wants to consult. Yet here I was holding his laptop and the misbehaving security cord.

I looked at the one and then at the other. I stuck the cord into the slot, pushed it down, turned 90 degrees, and turned the combination wheels. And ... what do you know, it worked!

There! I said, I got it.

What!? he said, turning back from the papers.

So it was. Decorated though my life is with failure after failure in the "manly" arts of building-and-fixing, I had successfully solved Gregg's problem. I showed him how to do it and then returned to my desk.

As I left, he said, You have no idea how much better you have made my day!

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