A Telecommuter's Lament

Sitting on a teleconference.

This dang new phone doesn't have a speaker mode. This dang new phone evidently doesn't have mute. This dang new phone didn't come with a manual. Why did I have to fall off my bike and break my old phone? This dang one might just make the hoohah of an iPhone and the $hoohah$ of AT&T worth it. I'm so close to switching.

Sitting on a teleconference.

BOOM behind me. Orange flash fills the room and reflects off my laptop screen. Smell of electrical fire. I can't find any evidence of what happened.

My laptop is still working. The fan on the floor runs fine. The electric recliner still goes up and down. The fountain pump is still running. The outside ground fault device that it plugs into looks ok. The floor lamp CF light bulb looks ok.

And all this while I'm on this teleconference, although I'm not sitting anymore but rather walking around the room trying to be quiet (because I'm not muted) with the dang cell phone pasted to my ear (because it doesn't have a speaker mode) looking desperately for the source of the flash and the smell. I walk around and walk around, checking and rechecking things I've already checked once, already checked twice.

Then I walk towards the bedroom. As I'm walking, I see a big black smear on the floor coming out from under the recliner. I looks like maybe a tiny comet came streaking in at an angle and smashed into the laminate floor, splaying black char in a fan shape.

Clearly something exploded under there. Move the chair. It's coming from the floor lamp cord. The cord is kinked and damaged exactly where the spot was. I guess the recliner was sitting on it.

Walking to the kitchen still on the teleconference. Phone to my ear so I can hear what they're saying, because it doesn't have a speak... well I guess I already told you that.

Grab paper towel and run it under a very slow drip from the faucet so I don't make any noise, because it doesn't have a mute... and I guess I already told you that.

Wipe up the black splotch with the barely damp paper towel. Most of impact crater is just black ash. Wipes up fine. Not all of it, though. We've got a black spot burned into the flooring. Fortunately, it's about the size of a knot in a piece of wood, so it actually could make the flooring look a little more natural that it looked just about an hour ago.

Off the phone now. Teleconference over. Gotta go release the hound. I had him in his crate to stay quiet while I was on the phone, because ... well I told you all that already.

5:17:15 PM   permalink: []   feedback:   comments: []  

A Sea of Green

Ribbons and signs. Two fingers in the air. Sparkling dark eyes. Frightened eyes. Hundreds of thousands in the streets. One day and then another. Word twitters out. Discontent grows.

Police with batons. Marauders on motorcycles. Gun shots from broken windows. Thugs looking for something to break, someone to kick.

Flames and smoke. Chants of protest. Shouts from the roof tops and windows of the city. Silence from the masses mourning for their dead. Candles at dusk for their fallen.

A Sea of Green.

12:29:43 AM   permalink: []   feedback:   comments: []