Earl Bockenfeld's Radio Weblog : America's real drug problem, is called television. --Greg Palast
Updated: 5/1/2006; 1:31:15 AM.

 

 
Looking for a Story? Check:
 
 


 
Work:
 
 
 
 
 
 

Archives:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Great Sites:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Subscribe to "Earl Bockenfeld's Radio Weblog" in Radio UserLand.

Click to see the XML version of this web page.

Click here to send an email to the editor of this weblog.

Comments by: YACCS

« chicago blogs »

 
 

Sunday, April 09, 2006



14 Things To Do If You Have Missed The Rapture

Dude, I can DO this! This is what Grand Theft Auto has been training me for since Vice City.

In pdf or text.

1. DO NOT commit suicide, and stay extremely calm if you have missed the rapture. There will be a period of total chaos, suicides, and heart attacks. People all over the world will be in total chaos. Please understand the fact that you who remain here have missed the rapture, and are living in the tribulation period, and nothing you do can change that fact. Listen! Don’t look back. Face the fact you've been left, but there still is hope for you!!

2. KEEP A TIME TABLE. Look back and find the date people were reported missing or raptured, mark that date, and put it away. Keep track of the following 7 years. The first three and a half years will not be too bad, but the last three and a half years will be so horrible that human vocabulary is insufficient to describe the events that will take place.

5. BEWARE OF A WORLD CHURCH. This church is not of God. Do not back this church. It is from Satan himself. Do not associate with any kind of world church. Beware of Communist agents who will play the role of pastor. Beware of any big church movement after the rapture. Ask Jesus for a spirit of discernment.

7. DO NOT accept the mark of the beast (666). The Anti-Christ will control the economic system completely, and he will destroy the money system and install a number system either on your hand or your forehead. Do not take this mark. If you do, you will be automatically doomed for eternity. Be prepared if you do not take it. You will be tortured or even put to death, but your soul will be saved in the end. You probably won't be able to buy, sell, or trade anything, but do not take the anti-Christ's number system. Begin now to ask Jesus for strength and boldness. There will be very rough times ahead.

Suggested Items NOT in original list:

1) Scope out the church parking lots and take whichever vehicle suits your fancy. After all, they won't be needing their stuff anymore!

2) Find a nice mansion that has been "left behind", preferably with a pool, sauna, bowling alley, movie theater, etc.

6) Find girls/guys that have been Left Behind. Chances are it was for good reason, and these are the girls/guys you always wanted to hook up with before the Rapture anyway.

14) If anything that looks remotely cataclysmic is occurring in your area, go to the nearest marina and take a yacht, then move to a safe location. Begin again at Step 1.

The people left behind will immediately deny that anything out of the ordinary has happened. "The world's leaders will declare that there was no Rapture, that a mass hysteria took place, and the news media will follow the party line," raptureready.com says. "Then to make things easier, shortly after the rapture, one-fourth of the world's population will be decimated due to wars, famine and plague. Those who were Raptured will be counted among the dead."

Even after an Apocalyptic event, politicians and the media will lie. A number of Christian celebrities will also be left behind and they'll also do their best to convince you there was no Rapture. I'm sure Pat Robertson will host an hour-long special on the faux Rapture and use it to call for even more money.

This is where the real fun begins. You'll have to find a way to buy and sell goods without having accepted the government-issued microchip required to be a consumer. If you accept the mark of the beast, you'll be able to buy Hostess Twinkies and All-Tempa-Cheer without worry. But then you'll be assured of going to hell. Tough choice.

Raptureready.com advises, just as in the pre-millennium days, to stock up. Hoard food, ammunition, gold and water and store them in a remote area away from a major city. "You will need enough for seven years," they point out.

The Bible says it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven. So in actuality nearly everyone will miss the rapture. What if we already did?




categories: Miscelleous
Other Stories according to Google: 14 things to do if you have missed the rapture ! | 14 things to do if you have missed the rapture 14 things to do . | News | News | Cynical-C Blog: 14 Things To Do If You Have Missed The Rapture | Cynical-C Blog: Comment on 14 Things To Do If You Have Missed The | Cynical-C Blog | Oops, I Guess I Wasn't Ready! | What to do If You Miss The Rapture | For Those Who Missed The Rapture

11:38:15 PM    



Unscientific Poll
Ted Rall Cartoon






























categories: Politics
Other Stories according to Google: Live Vote: Should Bush be impeached? - Politics - MSNBC.com | WordPress vs Movable Type: ProBlogger Blog Tips | Windows Mobile Team Blog : An unscientific poll | Pajamas Media: Informal and Quite Unscientific Poll | Christian Cantrell: Informal, Unscientific Poll | Unscientific poll : Do you use the element? · The | ESPN.com: SPORTSNATION - SportsNation Polling - 527 | Media Matters - Hume cited " unscientific " poll in attempt to | USATODAY.com - Unscientific poll suggests most baseball fans feel | HamptonRoads.com: Poll Results

3:17:09 PM    


© Copyright 2006 Earl Bockenfeld.



Click here to visit the Radio UserLand website.
 



April 2006
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
            1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30            
Mar   May














Top 10 hits for Downing Street Memo on..
Google
1.The Downing Street Memo :: What is it?
2.The secret Downing Street memo - Sunday Times - Times Online
3.AfterDowningStreet.org | CensureBush.org
4.Downing Street memo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
5.Why has ' Downing Street memo ' story been a 'dud' in US ...
6.The secret Downing Street memo
7.British Intelligence Warned of Iraq War
8.IMPEACHMENT TIME: "FACTS WERE FIXED."
9.TomPaine.com - Proof Bush Fixed The Facts
10.Downing Street Memo , A Crime is Documented

Help link 5/1/2006; 1:30:17 AM.


Story Categories:

Blogging

Body

Digital Media

Heart

Humor

Internet

Microsoft

Mind

Miscelleous

Politics

Outrages

Security

Software

Soul

Userland

Top 10 hits for spyware adware on..
Google
1.Ad-Aware SE Personal - Software - Lavasoft
2.Downloads - Support - Lavasoft
3.Adware , Spyware and Advertising Trojans - Info & Removal Procedures
4.How to Protect Your Computer from Spyware and Adware
5.PC Hell: Spyware and Adware Removal Help
6.Spyware - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
7.NEW! Adware .info - Adware Spyware Software Quick Reference
8.Spyware / AdWare /Malware FAQ
9.Adware & Spyware Removal - Reviews and free downloads at Download.com
10.The home of Spybot-S&D!

Help link 5/1/2006; 1:30:18 AM.