TBogg and ThinkProgress have been trawling around the dating service at Sean Hannity's website. "No," you say, "such an easy target for derision surely does not exist in the wild. That can only be an invention of snarky, smug left-wing bloggers, right?" No, it's real and oh so worth your time. Just for starters:
Krista in Michigan would trade her tiara to have "the kind of love that Nancy and Ronald Reagan had," so if you're totally confused and incontinent, drop her an email.
Dave in Oregon's sole hope from placing his personal is "to kill deer with Ann Coulter someday." From the comments at ThinkProgress: "Well, you'd have to swing her over your head real fast, but I bet you could get up enough speed to bring a deer down with her."
Jay in New York believes "there is nothing that can be said that Billy Joel hasn't put in a song" and says "I enjoy getting off at a random subway stop." I love that Billy Joel song about masturbating in the subway.
Chris in Alabama is looking for a Christian woman who will appriciate his assperations to Christ.
A prayerfor Chris
O wondrous Lord in Heaven, enlighten me in all my decisions. Be my guide as I do Your work here on Earth. Speaking of work, should I buy that Elm Street duplex - the one with the green shutters, not the one with the Christmas lights still up (but I don't need to tell You that, All Knowing God)-- and flip it right away, or sit on it for a few years until the market improves?)
And my humble thanks to You, O Lord, for sending a wonderful woman to me who worships You as I do. I feel in my heart that tonight is the night and, with the knowledge that I am not worthy of Your help, I ask that You make me acceptable in her sight. I beseech you to guide my hand(s) and ... other things ... in the darkness as we do as the monkeys do. (And when I say monkeys, I don't mean to suggest that we are descended from them. But we can learn from all of Your creatures, O Lord, because they are Your creations, and all that You create is perfection.)
If you do this for me, O Lord, I promise that I will stop socking my clients with all of those hidden fees at closing, even though those fees help me to do Your work. I will do this for You.
He left out a few details... Namely an explanation of how investing in real estate and stocks serves Jesus... I suppose creating independent wealth for himself instead of relying on the welfare state is the best way to serve Christ.
As one of the ThinkProgress commenters pointed out, either that dumbfuck Hannity or his dumbfuck webmaster actually published the email addresses of the hapless Hannitized. So they will all no doubt be set upon by spammers, confidence men, psychos, and liberal wiseacres (hope no one here succumbs, can't say I wasn't tempted to eff with a couple of them).
