categories: Personal Stuff

Columbus Day - Landowner's picknick - Opportunity to expereince Grattitude!

Havn't gone yet - yes there is such a thing as a Landowner's picknick.  Thanking the people who own land for letting each other and the lucky few who can afford to ride horses do just that.  Wish I were a landowner (yes wealth envy here...).  Well, I do own land (I guess the bank still does really).  It's all relative. 

I am sure it will be very pleasant.  I was going to change clothes - out of a suit, but I'm not sure I have time.  Been writing instead.  Now the phone's wringing (nice freudian typo there).  Don't want to answer it.

Mind jumps to the Police: "The telephone is wringing, is that my mother on the phone....  "

Gotto go

comment [] 168 12:27:29 PM G!.

categories: Personal Stuff, Professional Stuff

Columbus Day - It's been a week... A lot happens in a week..

I have not blogged for a week!  There have been a whole lot of moments that I wanted to record - flashes of inspiration or anguish.  Ironic juxtapositions of poverty and wealth - both material and spiritual.  (Well I just posted one, so) here's another example:

Came up with a new business concept.  I think it's a slam dunk  Wont describe it here, but I have not been excited about a new business venture for over 3 years - nothing really captured my imagination the way that this has - It feels right.  Need to establish some barriers to entry.  No one's doing it, so there's a first mover opportunity here.

It is both exciting and painful, since it points toward what I feel is good and right and true and excellent in who I am - yet there are a lot of personal obstacles to overcome in pursuing this venture.  It might come at far too high a cost to my family and my marriage.  It is a dilemma.

comment [] 167 12:21:11 PM G!.

categories: Personal Stuff

Hairspray! - Unexpected Experiences of Driving, Dining, Donating, and Drama

Friday, I went to see Hairspray with my family.  Dinner first, was lovely. But the tension was very high. 

Driving

I had planned to leave 30 minutes earlier than normal so that we would arrive with no time pressure.  Then we end up driving my mother-in-law.  Still OK.  Then we have to make a couple stops (post office etc). Still OK.  We do get stuck in traffic and I get to hear for 30 minutes what a bad driver I am and how I had chosen a poor route to take. NOT OK.

In fact I thought I was rather clever in chosing the route.  I even recall having used this particular route once and getting high praise for my back road creativity in getting us to the destination (same destination) quickly and efficiently.  So here we are 180 degree change in attitude.  In general the ride turned out very unpleasant.

In fact we got there early!

Dining

Then we wait.  My father-in-law is late.  And he brought a guest who is not staying. Cordial conversation wastes another 10 minutes.  So all the effort to get to dinner early is for nought.  We order and everything is fine, but the table conversation is filled with barb's heading my way.  Man this sucks.  Then there is the sudden (not to me it wasn't) realization that we need to get out of there and our deserts have not yet arrived.  Run back to the kitchen.  Drag waitresses out with food.  Wolf it down and run!

More Driving

So we drive to the theatre - attempting to follow my father in law who has a special lot to park in.  We lose him.  (I am not driving at this point, thank God but somehow it is my fault).  The whole drive over my daughter is WAILING at the top of her lungs UNCONTROLLABLY over NOTHING!

The tension builds I am now shifting from having been really looking forward to a fun night at the theater with the family to saying that I'll just stay in the car with my daughter - she can miss it for this bad attitute.  My wife thinks I am making a threat I do not intend to keep and gets mad at me.

I do intend to keep it - but my daughter pulls herself back from the edge in the remaining 3 minutes to the theatre.  Everyone gets out, and I switch to the driver's seat to go park the car.

Donation

I am furious.  I am furious with my wife and mother-in-law for raking me over the coals about my driving and my route selection.  I am annoyed at my father-in-law for showing up late and with a guest in tow.  I am furious at my wife for comments designed to cut to the core at the dinner table.  I'm angry with my daughter for wailing over nothing and then with my wife for not punishing her and for getting mad at me for wanting to!

I don't want to see the show now and sit with these people for 2 more hours!

So I park the car.  Get out and decide I'll just walk slowly.  If I miss the first act - so be it - it'll give me a chance to cool off.  God, here is what was supposed to be a lovely event in the midst of relatively luxurious settings and it feels like crap....

As I'm walking along, there's a man I see as I am crossing the street - he's begging.  He actually looks like he's in need.  I'm in no hurry so I'll stop and help him rather than ignore him and pass him by.

He turns his attention to me.  I reach in my pocket - no coins.  So, I pull out my wallet.  Hand him a five dollar bill - the largest I had.  I would have given him a $20, but it happened too fast and that's all I had.  So five dollars.

His reaction was incredible.  Transformative.  Joyful.

I had made his day!  This poor guy, with a kind face was just lit up.  He reached out to shake my hand in the most heartfelt human exchange I have experienced in a month.  He was genuinely filled with grattitude for the gesture I had made.

It made my day too.  All the petty crap was painted over by this one kind act.  And I had meant it kindly.  I was taking my time - in no rush to get to the theatre.  Felt like the good samaritan when I saw him, thinking everyone else is rushed on their way.  And I gave him as much as I could within the context of the moment.

I wanted to hug him for what he had given me was a greater treasure than the five bucks I had given him.  He had taken my crappy day and transformed it completely.  Thank you God.

Drama

After all that, I walked slowly to the theater, feeling much better somehow - and in fact made it to my seat before the show started.  Another gift.  Will they never cease?

comment [] 166 8:11:46 AM G!.