Sunday, January 19, 2003

Lazy Boy I'll be good and damned if that's not one hell of name for a piece of furniture. All of the other things I was hoping to say are now standing in badly scrambled lines in the back of my skull, waiting to be asked to dance.   Church Robbers They had a camp out by the river, downstream from the city. Church robbers, with flashlights. Not a sophisticated bone in any of their bodies, but legendary nerve. They were all reputed to be descended from shipwrecked Italian sailors. They could often be found naked in the filthy river. It was said that they would all pile into boats and float up the river to the city, which was at some distance from their encampment. From the beach where they would stash their boat they would have to climb the steep cliffs upon which the city had been constructed many centuries before. The bastards were adept climbers, and could negotiate the climb back down encumbered though they inevitably were by huge sacks full of stolen objects. Over the years they had stolen thousands of candleholders, chalices, candle snuffers, offering plates, statuary, even hymnals, purely motivated, it seemed, by little but an almost genetic compulsion. They had absolutely no use or real interest in anything they stole from the the churches, and often as not flung their booty in the river. 8:51:18 PM

Auto-Eroticism: A Brief Reader From Wilhem Stekel's Auto-Eroticism. Liveright, 1950: Consider the serious psychic struggle that the onanists undergo before they yield to the temptation of going through the act. They surround themselves with a thousand oaths, they try to protect themselves with prayers and resolutions, etc. They are strongly determined not to fall again! If they must yield --this one time-- let it be the last! And yet, in spite of all self-conjurations and in spite of all their resolutions, the instinctive craving persists within them and --there is a 'next time,' they yield once more; they slip back, again and again, in spite of everything. The spiritual katzenjammer of defeat naturally brings on a severe depression. A young man, 23 years of age, showing all the typical signs of a severe neurosis confesses that for the past two years he has given up the habit of masturbation. Since that time he suffers from anxiety attacks and sleeplessness. Freud, as is well known, has pointed out that masturbators become victims of anxiety neurosis when they give up the habit. They become unable to live without masturbating. Any physician is able to verify this pertinent revelation. We find the most severe neuroses among those who give up the long-standing habit.   She was firmly convinced that indulgence in the habit had made her ill. She resolved to masturbate no longer and kept to her resolution for about three weeks.... Then she was amazed to find herself masturbating during a state of half-consciousness. Great was her horror, and she now feared going to sleep; she tied a bandage around her pelvic region, and woke up from sleep with a feeling of dread. Nevertheless her craving was supreme and she felt herself giving in. She could not bear the thought of confessing to her husband. He held so lofty a view of woman's purity that he would have scorned her and possibly would have left her. But she loved him passionately and could not live without him. In her dilemma she decided she must die, took a large dose of veronal, and wrote her husband a parting letter, which I reproduce below as a touching document illustrating the depths of human suffering.... My Beloved Otto, When you read this letter I won't be among the living any more. I pay with death for my wrong. I cannot keep on under the burden of a terrible habit, while you held me to be a pure woman. So, therefore, know: since childhood I have practiced masturbation. The habit began during childhood and I have kept it up after marriage. Finding myself too weak to give up the habit, unaided, finding that the consequences of this terrible habit already begun to show themselves, and as I do not want to burden you with a sick wife, I part voluntarily and give up this life, though with heavy heart. Indeed, how shall I look you in the face, how shall I look my children in the face, when I find myself so badly dishonored and disgraced. No! I cannot stand this any longer. For the love you have so richly bestowed on me, I thank you. I wish you the company of a woman worthy of your confidence and love. Do find a woman worthy of you. Kiss our dear children for me. It is hardest to part from you. Forgive me. I cannot help it. My last sighs go out to you. Yours,   An examination of this case reveals two important facts: first, that ideas of suicide bear a certain relationship to masturbation.... Suicide represents merely the extreme consequence of abstinence. It is possible to construct a scale, approximately as follows: anxiety neurosis, hypochondria, moodiness, depression, melancholia, suicide. From the day masturbation is given up life ceases to be worth while....These cases demonstrate to our satisfaction that many persons are unable to live without masturbating and that they would rather renounce living altogether than try to get along without their customary gratification. Attempt at suicide through the abuse of masturbation is by no means rare; it is a particularly frequent occurrence in jails. This form of self-annihilation I have called 'chronic suicide.'   Penguins, Behaving Madly It seems the penguins at the San Francisco Zoo are performing some kind of an elaborate, metaphorical imitation of the human hustle. 8:34:36 PM

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