It's been over a month since my life partner had a medical emergency. At the time, it seemed as if my life was getting smaller, more constrained. For some undetermined time, perhaps forever, I'd need to be available for any emergency, keeping my time flexible.
Most artists have backup options for when the work isn't selling well. Friends and I used to joke about working at the local resort dining room. In fact, artists did often work there when times got tough. More recently, my backup options included restarting my computer coaching business, or getting a part time job or, if worst came to worst, a full time job.
All those backup options disappeared in the face of needing to be available 24/7 in case of medical emergency. I wasn't even sure how much I could isolate myself in the studio. Did I feel sorry for myself? Yes, I admit it. Did I get over it? Yes, absolutely. Compared with the privilege of being with my partner, none of this mattered.
But the medical emergency also intensified my sense of needing help. My usual sources of help weren't enough. And I was scared.
Here's the good part. I can see now, looking back over the last month, how much I've opened to new possibilities. I've started meditating every day. Not surprisingly, I've prayed a lot more than before. And I'm saying yes to new opportunities I might not have even noticed earlier.
My mind used to be full to overflowing with my goals, plans, ideas, and urgent things to do. Of course, a medical emergency knocks all that aside. It all falls like a house of cards.
So there's been room for new things to come in. I'm grateful. Is life perfect? No, and of course I'm not perfect either. I still get frustrated, impatient, angry, envious, and more. But new opportunities are managing to get through, and I'm saying yes to them. And it's exciting to meet them.