As we'll be seeing in the near future, readers on the lookout for more nasty sneakwrap terms are finding plenty to add to our collection. But they're also pointing the growing phenomenon of license agreements written with tongue firmly planted in cheek.
Many of the satirical EULAs and/or website usage agreements bear a striking resemblance to each other. Apparently that is due to the fact that most of them borrow liberally from a company of the future's EULA in the science fiction novel The Truth by Terry Pratchett:
"This device is provided without warranty of any kind as to reliability, accuracy, existence or otherwise or fitness for any particular purpose and Bioalchemic Products specifically does not warrant, guarantee, imply, or make any representations as to its merchantability for any particular purpose and furthermore shall have no liability for or responsibility to you or any other person, entity or deity with respect of any loss or damage whatsoever caused by this device or object or by any attempts to destroy it by hammering it against a wall or dropping it into a deep well or any other means whatsoever and moreover asserts that you indicate your acceptance of this agreement or any other agreement that may be substituted at any time by coming within five miles of the product or observing it through large telescopes or by any other means because you are such an easily cowed moron who will happily accept arrogant and unilateral conditions on a piece of highly priced garbage that you would not dream of accepting on a bag of dog biscuits and is used solely as your own risk."
But there are other license spoofs that appear to be original works. Maybe the funniest of all, if you don't mind the vulgarities, is the license agreement for www.illegal-art.org. (The license agreement pops up in a window when you visit the site, so you'll have to have your popup blocker turned off to see it.) One of my favorite sections is the spoof of the government users notice that all the software EULAs have these days:
Notice to Government End Users. The Software and Documentation are "Real Bitchin'," as that term is defined at 48 C.F.R. §2.101, consisting of "Real Bitchin' (formerly 'Radical' items)" and as such terms are used in 48 C.F.R. §12.212 or 48 C.F.R. §227.7202, as applicable. Or maybe 56 C.Fsomething something. 7. Oh, and these things, too: §§§§. Consistent with 48 C.F.R. §12.212 or 48 C.F.R. §§227.7202-1 through 227.7202-4, as applicable, as well as §R2-D2 and §JOHNNY 5, locked in a beautiful metallic embrace of everlasting robot love.
Maybe the oddest of all the EULA satires - assuming it is a satire - is the one for Mini Cooper USA's e-mail list sign-up. (To see it for yourself, you have to go to www.miniusa.com and click on "Become an Insider" under the "Get in the Loop" menu. The "terms" are at the bottom of the sign-up form that you'd fill out to get on Mini Cooper USA's mailing list.) After a mostly straight-forward paragraph explaining what MiniUSA will and will not do with your sign up information, they add the following terms:
"I also agree to avoid ruts.
And I agree to change my locker combination to include the number 1964 (the year we won our first Monte Carlo rally).
I agree to chase squirrels around the park every now and then and giggle like a madman while doing it.
I agree to be more adventurous and try to avoid homogenized restaurant chains.
I agree to name my first-born Cooper.
I agree to bare the soles of my feet to the earth and feel grass, sand, stones, and streams.
I agree to watch the movie "The Italian Job" as soon as I can.
I agree to at least think strongly about learning to play a musical instrument.
I agree to consider painting the roof of my house in contrasting colors."
This raises one question in my mind. Every time I write about outrageous license terms, I hear from a small but vocal minority of folks who believe every EULA is a binding legal contract and every term in it is therefore strictly enforceable. So if one of those folks just happened to be a Mini Cooper nut and signed up for their mailing list, would they feel obliged to name their first-born Cooper and to chase squirrels? Hey, a contract is a contract.
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9:31:55 AM 
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