Sunday, May 09, 2004
GOODBYE RADIO, HELLO MUNU
Bad Money is now Bad Example. The new address is http://www.badexample.mu.nu
Please update your links and/or bookmarks accordingly.
What's changing? The URL, the look, the software, the name, and the load time (much faster).
What's not changing? The graffiti currency, love notes, precision guided humor, filthy lies, and dirty-minded smart-assery.
I want to state for the record that Radio is not inherently bad blogging software. It's got some nice features,
and I'm REALLY going to miss the WYSIWYG editing mode (I hope Movable
Type is looking to add that in the future). It actually has most of the
important features I wanted, but a couple of them didn't work right for
me. Which leads me to the main reason I'm abandoning it. There's no
real on-line tech-support to speak of, and not enough tech-savvy
bloggers use it for there to be a useful place to turn for help. Which
wouldn't be a problem, if it weren't for the fact that a lot of the
features are highly non-intuitive. The learning curve is steep and
painful. I won't miss that.
With MT, there's a HUGE community of people who know the ins and outs.
If I have a problem, there's no shortage of folks with the wisdom and
inclination to help out. Since I'd rather be blogging than tweaking,
this is a valuable feature for me, and the main reason for the switch.
Some parting gratitude:
Mike Taylor, aka The Bartender of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon,
for doing all the heavy lifting to get my new site up and running. He
really knows his stuff on blog design. Despite the gruff persona he
presents at the Saloon, he's a cuddly little fuzzball to work with and
will stop at nothing to give you exactly what you want.
Pam of Pamibe, who did the
graphics & logos, including the gorgeous banners. Incredibly
talented at creating images. I have no idea where she found the time,
but she did, and I am eternally grateful.
To Pixy Misa of Ambient Irony,
who provides the site hosting. His generosity knows no bounds, and he
bends over backwards to help with problems, whether technical or merely
(as in my case) user ignorance.
To Susie of Practical Penumbra,
who's been oh-so-sweetly & gently encouraging me to move for the
longest time. Patient, yet insistent, she made it easy to finally say
"yes" to MuNu.
To Jen of Jen Lars. When I said, "I'll bet you can't leave 100 comments",
she led the charge to make it happen. I thought it would take days or
weeks. I almost cried when I saw it took less than an hour.
Honorable mention in the "push Harv to MuNu brigade" goes to Tiffany of Blown Fuse, Jim of Snooze Button Dreams, CD of Semi-Intelligent Thoughts, and Nony Mouse.
To Eric of Straight White Guy, who dedicated "Mr. Bad Example" to me at Madfish Willie's Comment Party
and provided the inspiration for the new blog's name. In case anybody's
wondering, I chose not to use the "Mr." part for 2 reasons. First -
better continuity - still two words, and only one changed. Second,
well... truth is, having a blog name that begins with "B" gives me a
certain positional advantage on alphabetized blogrolls, which leads to
slight, but noticable, traffic results from people who are out surfing
at random. It's something I didn't consider when I first picked "Bad
Money" but it's something new bloggers might want to think about.
To all the delightfully sick, twisted, and or silly people who kept
linking, commenting, and visiting, despite my hideously long load time,
I thank you. Your patience has been rewarded. You will now be able to
read my crap on the same day you click the link.
Final thought. When I first started blogging, I thought it was going to
be all about seeing my words in print, and if someone wanted to read
what I wrote, that was great, but secondary. Over the last 10 months or
so, I found out that the best thing about blogging was the people I met
and the friends I made. This was very strange for me, because I'm not
exactly a social butterfly.
I don't like most of the people I meet on a day to day basis. But
blogging transcends geography, and distance means nothing on line. The
kind of people I've wished I could meet out in the world are all here,
and they stop by my virtual living room every day. We talk or flirt,
get drunk or tease, share happiness & misery, and generally make
each other's lives better for spending the time together. Blogging's
the most fun you can have with you're clothes on.
Not that I don't occasionally blog nekkid ;-)
See you at Bad Example.
posted by Harvey at 5:41:21 PM permalink HOME
HOW I VOTED
I'm gonna go ahead & buy myself a peck of trouble here and explain my votes in the IMAO T-shirt Babe contest.
There were 2 parts to the contest. One was a "hawkish statement" and
the other was a picture of the contestant. I gave them both 0-10
ranking for each contestant, and added up the scores to determine the
winner. I lost the little post-it note with the numbers on it, so
you'll have to do without that. I'm also not going to mention the 15
girls I didn't vote for. Suffice it to say they didn't appeal to me as
much in one category or another.
First place: Heather.
(contestant #10) She has an amazing way with words, and her essay
showcased her talent well. Her picture - my goodness, but the
lady has a pretty face and gorgeous hair. I'd be inclined to pay money
for anything that was displayed below it.
Second place: Willow.
(contestant #1) Firm, resolved, hawkish statement. Cheated on the essay
length by including a link, but I read the rest & it made such a
good point, I didn't care. Coquettish, seductive picture. I think she
hacked into my computer and read the file marked "bar wench fantasy".
Third place: Reva. (#16) A
conservative politically active Berkeley student? Having been a
Libertarian at UW-Madison (which is exactly like UC Berkeley, except
State Street doesn't allow car traffic, and Telegraph Avenue does),
this one carried a lot of weight. As for the picture, it showed a lot
of attitude, and (I shall be blunt here) a rack that was built for
Fourth place: Carissa (#18) Good essay, pretty face, and nice display
of T-shirt supporting assets. The finger-biting pose made me *ahem*
Fifth place: CCinCali (#11) Good essay - loved the image of Michael
Moore as a literal human shield - and a smile that makes Marie Osmond
look like Oscar the Grouch. Not to mention built for T-shirts.
The others... well... some of the essays weren't hawkish at all. Some
were a hawkish to the point of insanity. I was looking for something
determined, but not vicious.
The pictures... There's no gentle way to say this. It takes either a
great set or a pretty face to be a model. Although I will state
unequivocally that none of the ladies were hard to look at, I must also
say that a lot of the pics weren't posed to do a good job of showing
off what the model had to offer. I took off points for that.
Having said all that, I now congratulate SarahK of Mountaineer Musings
on winning the contest. The gun was an inspired touch, and won a lot of
hearts and minds. The truth is, if you want to win an IMAO contest, it's better to be different than great. Creativity is the key to victory. Jot that down and remember it well if you ever want to be a Frank J. winner.
posted by Harvey at 4:32:01 PM permalink HOME
Saturday, May 08, 2004
I'm posting at Bad Example today. I'll work up a nice "good-bye Radio" post later. I gotta get to work now. Meanwhile, go forth & enjoy my wit.
posted by Harvey at 7:17:10 AM permalink HOME
CITIZENS against UNCLEAN NETWORK TRASH
Some actual letters to the FCC
about the now infamous Oprah "tossed salad" episode obtained through a
Freedom of Information Act request. Look through a few of them. Link
via the never safe for work Bacchus of Erosblog.
posted by Harvey at 12:34:14 AM permalink HOME
Friday, May 07, 2004
MY FIRST POST
... is up at Bad Example, and I already got my first troll.
Ok, so it was me.
Anyway, the Bartender has it more or less functional, so I hope to
attempt the crossover this weekend. Meanwhile, feel free to become the
second troll. Or third.
Whatever. I'm just happy to be getting my comments e-mailed to me again.
posted by Harvey at 11:53:10 PM permalink HOME
BLOGLESS SALLY'S FILTHY LIE
One of the Alliance's blogless Sympathetic Civilians (Sally) asked me
to post her filthy lie for her. Since it's a good first effort, I see
no reason not to:
(Glenn Reynolds, Harvard, circa 1991
sitting on his beanbag of the blackest ice still awaiting his throne)
...Tap... tap... tap...
"Ahhh the trusty old BBC Micro. Muwahahaha! Bow...
down... before... the... Evil... Internet... Overlord!!!! Heh,
....Reconnection noise of
"Heh! Not enough people on this internet-thing to
....Reconnection noise of
"Gives me time to work on my typing speed and look at www.penguinporn.com
flightless aquatic arctic waterfowl tastefully posed."
....Reconnection noise of
"Damn my ISP and Dial
....Reconnection noise of
"I am now a FULLY FLEDGED megalomaniac! Sorry,
LAWYER. If only I didn't feel so lethargic!"
....Blender noises and
WWWWHHHIIIIIRRRRRRRR..... YIP YIP YIP
"Mmmmm. Springer spaniel puppy. Gives me a nice
spring in my step. Now where was I?? Heh. Ignore my first post. I am now secure
in Castle Glenn. The bones of hobos and puppies litter the great hall. I have
several hundred pairs of socks to go with my sandals. I own 10 of the finest
Italian mopeds with their 1 forward and 10 reverse gears. Black
Mass is held thrice daily and due to my high energy diet (the Alsation
diet - high in carbs and collars so forget Atkins! ) I have even managed to
punch bloggers in my specialist French Schoolgirl form of martial art. What time
is it? Really? I still have time to make 3999 more posts in the next hour
...Tap... tap... tap... heh... tap...
tap... tap... link... tap... tap... tap... indeed...
If you liked this, please leave some encouragement in the comments, and
we'll see if we can get Sally's courage up to start a little something
at Blogspot, and perhaps move on from there.
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
posted by Harvey at 9:18:26 PM permalink HOME
EVIL GLENNS FIRST POST
(A FILTHY LIE ASSIGNMENT)
I wandered into Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon the other night, mostly to check out the damage from the comment party.
Looked like the clean up was coming along fine, although the guys in
the HazMat suits were a little creepy. Anyway, I figured a Guinness and
some of Matty O'Blackfive's war stories would do me good.
But Matty wasn't there.
So I inquired politely of the Bartender...
Harv: Hey Bartender! Where the f*** is Matty? He was supposed to meet me here.
Bartender: How the f*** should I know, asshole? Do I look like his f***** mother?
Harv: Only by way of the hairy back. This is just weird. He's always here.
Bartender: Now that I think about it, he did
call and leave a message. Something about he wasn't coming tonight
because he was going to spend the evening playing "bats" with Little
Harv: "Bats"? What the hell is "bats"?
... Meanwhile at a filthy hippy protest rally in Chicago...
Filthy Hippy Dude: Iraq is Bush's Vietnam! Uh... something... something... something... bomb!
Matty: Ok, Little Blackfive, do it just like I taught you.
Little Blackfive: Ok, dad.
Filthy Hippy Dude: Condi Rice sure
lies a lot! Condi Rice sure is a... Oh, hey little midget dude! Wait...
you're not a midget, you're a child. That means... [thinking really hard for a hippy]... You're one of THE CHILDREN (tm)! There's nothing I wouldn't do for THE CHILDREN (tm)!
Little Blackfive: Good. Then stand still, f***face. [swinging Louiville Slugger] *CRACK!*
Filthy Hippy Dude: OH GOD! My kneecaps! I'll never walk again!
Little Blackfive: Or reproduce [laying a Barry Bonds on Filthy Hippy Dude's gonads] *WHACK!*
Filthy Hippy Dude: AIEEEEEE!
Little Blackfive: How was that, Dad?
Matty [tousling his hair]: That's my boy!
Bartender: You're right. That doesn't make any sense. Maybe he said "catch". Anyway, what's your poison?
Harv: Guinness. Cold. And a CLEAN glass, if you don't mind.
Bartender: Persnickety bitch. At least my glasses are cleaner than your skid-marked underwear.
Harv: I prefer to think of them as "performance art".
Bartender: Whatever. You gonna pay for that, or just stand there twiddling your dick?
Harv: Both [flipping paper onto the bar]
Bartender: What the f*** is that? That's not money, that's just a piece
of paper with some scribbling on it. Is that a love note or
Harv: No, Love Notes are for my wife.
Bartender: You think I'm your wife?
Harv: Nah, my wife at least bathes on occasion. You're just my bitch. Now what the hell does that thing say?
Bartender "Lie assignment - Glenn's first post". You want to ride Glenn's post? Sick bastard!
Harv: AW SHIT! I knew I forgot
something. I have to find out about Evil Glenn's first post so I have a
Filthy Lie for the round-up on Friday, and I haven't even started.
Bartender: Not that it matters. Your crap is about as funny as a porcupine enema anyway.
Harv: Beats your dumb-ass cow jokes, though. Damn. I gotta get outta here & do some research.
Bartender: Screw that. Why don't you just have your blogless brother hack into Glenn's computer & do some pokin' around?
Harv: Nah. That's GEBIV'S schtick.
Harv: Nevermind. Look, why don't you come with me & help me dig up the dirt?
Bartender: Because you're a retarded monkey humper.
Harv: Besides that.
Bartender: Eh. No reason. Nobody's in here anyway. I'll kick the HazMat guys out & close early.
Harv: Great! To the Drunkmobile!
Bartender: Can't do that. I let Eric borrow it for the night.
Harv: Eric? That souse? You think that was a good idea?
Bartender: He's a responsible former Marine. What could happen?
... Meanwhile at a nearby demolition derby...
Eric: YEEEEEE-HAWWW! *CRASH* WHOO-HOO! *crumple* Yippee-ki-yay mother- *SMASH*
Harv: I guess you're right. Come on. We'll take my Yugo.
We drove through the night, narrowly avoiding being caught in a toxic monkey-dung spill, and soon arrived at Evil Glenn's sinister compound...
Bartender: I can't believe you drove to Tennessee from Texas via Milwaukee. Why the f*** didn't you stop to ask directions?
Harv: Because I have a penis. Duh! All men are genetically incapable of admitting they're lost.
Bartender: I know that. I just thought that a mutant freak like yourself would be exempt.
Harv: You're just jealous because my size 12 shoes prove the old wive's tale. What size Nike's are YOU sporting?
Bartender [blushing & looking away]: Size 5... boys.
Harv: You've got short, stubby fingers, too.
Bartender: F*** you! Let's just get this over with. I've got a date later.
Harv: She can wait. Inflatable Katie's a patient gal.
Bartender: Hey! She may be a blow-up doll, but at least... uh... anyway, can we get on with this?
We snuck up to the main building, pausing only to kick a few of his killer attack rabbits out of the way (no offense, Roxette).
Harv: I didn't know bunnies could scream like that.
Bartender: Still sounds better than homicidalManiak's singin'
Harv: I don't think it's a good idea to make fun of a woman who wields a hatchet-saw.
Bartender: Oh f*** her. She can take a joke. So, how do we get in, Einstein?
Harv: Maybe ring the doorbell... [ding dong]
Jen [answering door in black leather catsuit]: Yes? May I help you?
Harv: Greetings, oh erotically clad minion of the dark puppy-blending overlord of the blogosphere. We are weary travellers who have sojourned many leagues, seeking knowledge of...
Jen: Let me re-phrase that. What the f*** do you want?
Bartender: Let me handle this, Wordsworth. We need access to Evil Glenn's computer database for a Filthy Lie assignment.
Jen: Sure. Come on in.
Harv: What? Just like that? I thought you were Evil Glenn's loyal minion and/or spicy sex toy?
Jen: Technically, yes, but I haven't been paid in over a month. Seems Mr. Important has been squandering the payroll on penguin porn and ivory-handled hobo-filleting knives. I'm game for a little payback.
Harv: Sweet! Lead on. And, uh... walk slowly. We'll fantasize... er, fondle… FOLLOW you.
Jen led us to a small office containing an ancient TRS-80....
Jen: That was Glenn's first computer. It should have what you're looking for.
Harv: Great! What's the password?
Jen: Shut up! I'm trying to do my nails.
Harv: Fine. Let's see... DRINKPUP... Hey! Got it in one. Now we just look for the earliest date, and... Oh my...
Bartender: Naked Helen Thomas?
Harv: No... it's... geez, I knew Glenn was a pathetic geek loser, but...
Bartender: Well? Either tell us or move your pointy head so I can read it.
Harv: Unbelievable... it says:
It's time to end this ridiculous debate once and for all. With my devastating intellectual brilliance, I will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Kirk was by far the superior Starship Captain, and that Picard was a total loser. The following 100 pieces of evidence are indisputable:
100. Kirk is a leader, not a follower.
99. Kirk never really got into that kinky "Jumpsuit" look.
98. Kirk has sex more than once a season.
97. One Word: Hair.
96. Another Word: Pretty-good-looking-can't-see-the-weave-WIG.
95. Kirk can beat up a Klingon bare-handed.
94. Picard is a French man with an English accent.
93. Kirk would date Beverly Crusher -- and damn the consequences!!
92. Kirk never drinks tea. Ever.
91. Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk.
Harv: He actually listed 100 different reasons.
Bartender: What a dweeb. What's that one comment to the post say?
Harv: "U R dum. Picard roolz cuz:"
101. Two Words: better voice.
100. Picard's ship's counselor traded in her miniskirt for that great low-cut neckline.
99. Kirk fought over women. Picard had women fight over him.
98. Picard fires both photon torpedoes AND phasers at the same time when in battle.
97. Picard's ship is better than Kirk's -- better, faster, stronger.
96. Picard hates children -- Kirk
once rescued a bunch of patricidal little maniacs, tried to console
them, and almost lost his ship and crew in the process.
95. Picard was responsible for
Beverly Crusher's husband dying, berated her son constantly in her
presence, yet still manged to make her fall for him.
94. Though admittedly he's seldom a patron, Picard's ship actually has a BAR.
93. Kirk fought others himself, Picard has others do his fighting for him.
92. When nurse Chapel re-appeared as Troi's mother, she fell for Picard.
91. In seven years, Picard never developed a gut like Kirk's.
Harv: This one has 101. Guess that solves THAT argument once and for all. And it's signed... Frank J.
Bartender: You mean Frank might have misled us as to the real reason for his declaring war on Glenn?
Harv: Frank lied
Bartender: But puppies died!
Harv: Such a moral quandry.
Jen: Would you guys shut up? I'm trying to watch my tape of the last episode of Friends.
Harv: What for? They kiss, happy ending, blah, blah, blah..
Jen: You BASTARD! I'll strangle you dead!
Bartender: Come on Harv, time to go.
We ran back to the Yugo, pausing only to turn around occasionally to
enjoy the sight of Jen's leather-clad jiggling as she pursued us.
Fortunately, her six-inch stilletto heels slowed her down enough to
allow us to make good our escape. After another short detour through
Wisconsin, where we were almost run off the road by the state's thoroughly hammered Attorney General, we arrived safely back at Madfish Willie's...
Bartender: Well, Harv, are you going to tell the truth about what you
discovered, even though it may destroy Frank's credibility?
Harv: The truth must be told, otherwise the Alliance will lose the moral high ground in our battle against evil.
Bartender: But I thought the Alliance was based on Filthy Lies?
Harv: Aw shit. Another moral
quandry. Maybe I'll just lie about it being the truth, in which case
the truth will be a filthy lie and because I lied about the truth being
a lie, it'll still be a filthy lie.
Bartender: Sorta like "Bowling for Columbine"?
Bartender: Do whatever ya want, dipshit, this is my stop. I gotta go back in the bar & tidy up a few things.
Harv: You mean pull Inflatable Katie of that shelf in the closet.
Bartender: Pretty much.
Harv: Tell her I said "Hi"… say… who's that standing in front of the bar?
homicidalManiak [casually twirling hatchet-saw]: So… Bartender… don't like my singing?
Bartender: …oh …crap … Uh… Hey! Look over there! Is that a bowl of lime Jello?
hM: Soul food? Where?
Bartender: Sucker! [FWING!]
hM: [jumping into my car]: Quick! Get this Yugo into gear & run him down!
Harv: Did you just use the words "quick" and "Yugo" in the same sentence?
hM: I did, didn't I?… *giggle*… Nevermind.
Harv: Say... how'd you know what the Bartender said about you, anyway?
hM: I'm LDS, remember? The Mormon Temple is part of the Illuminati, so I can find out pretty much anything.
Harv: You mean you could have found out about Evil Glenn's first post for me?
hM: What, that stupid Star Trek thing? I thought everybody knew about that! I've even got the T-shirt, see? [opening jacket to reveal "Glenn's First Post" T-shirt, with Kirk's reasons on the front and Picard's reasons on the back]
hM: Did I say something wrong?
Harv: No… no… come on, I'll take ya home. Maybe you can sing me a song with that pretty voice of yours while I drive?
hM: Sure. Anything in particular?
Harv: Some Warren Zevon would be nice. I think you know the one [putting the car in gear and getting up to speed].
HM: Sure do. *AHEM*
I started as an alter boy, working at the church
Learning all my holy moves, doing some research
Which led me to a cash box, labeled "Children's Fund"
I'd leave the change, and tuck the bills inside my cummerbund
Harv: Oh yeah!
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
posted by Harvey at 8:09:35 PM permalink HOME
Thursday, May 06, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
Love is like gold - rare and treasured. Yet there is not just one piece
of gold, but one that is unique to each person. Once you find yours,
treasure it, and do not let it go.
posted by Harvey at 6:51:34 PM permalink HOME
[www.boohoodynamite www.julius bragg]
"Yes, Mr. Kerry, I do know who you are, but www.kerry04.org is already taken, and these are the only two domain names we have left."
posted by Harvey at 6:49:56 PM permalink HOME
Owen of Boots & Sabers laments the fact that he doesn't post more on national issues.
Despite the fact that he's already THE best source for Wisconsin
political news on the web, he'd like to branch out a bit. However:
[...] so much of the national news is, and has been, dominated by issues
relating to the Iraq War. Frankly, I'm sick of discussing it. I support
the war. I think we need to finish the job. Most of the stories about
the war are so predictable that it's pathetic. A problem comes up.
Those opposed to the war jump on it and wail loudly. Supporters of the
war defend or place perspective on the issue. We move on to the next
issue. I'm just tired of it.
Gotcha covered man. Just copy & paste this every day:
GENERIC NATIONAL ISSUES POST
Something bad happened in Iraq today.
Liberals claim this is proof that George Bush is losing the peace, and that the Iraqi quagmire is worsening.
Numerous conservatives, however,
have well-written, in-depth explanatory posts showing how things aren't
as bad as they're being portrayed, and that we might actually be better
off in the long run because of it.
See Instapundit for details.
posted by Harvey at 6:43:11 PM permalink HOME
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Falling way behind on e-mails & such, plus some items to mess with
for the move. And tomorrow is Quality Guy Time Night with blogless
I'm not feeling overwhelmed...
[tipping back whiskey bottle]
posted by Harvey at 11:44:25 PM permalink HOME
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
If laughing makes you live longer, you would make me live forever.
posted by Harvey at 11:42:11 PM permalink HOME
Beloved Wife went out to a Cinco de Mayo party tonight, and she got carded.
She's 36, so she's positively giddy about that.
posted by Harvey at 10:47:41 PM permalink HOME
IMPROVING KERRY'S SITE
(A PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT)
When I saw John Kerry's "I wanna be your president" web site,
my first thought was that there was some sort of hiccup in Google,
because, judging by the pictures, I'd been misdirected to some sort of Herman Munster fan page. But upon closer inspection, I decided it probably was Kerry. After that, I noticed how dull and drab it was. Definitely needed some spicing up. Here are some suggestions.
Get a comic strip - in order to boost traffic, an entertaining daily
feature would be helpful. Chris Muir does a great strip called "Day by Day".
Perhaps he could do one called "Flip by Flop", wherein he could
chronicle Kerry's zany adventures as he attempts to nuance his way out
of the corners he's constantly talking his way into.
He could sell some John Kerry action figures. (via Larry of Extreme Psychosis)
Some pictures of the Mekong Delta so he doesn't get confused next time he goes to Louisiana.
A prominent link to Democratic Underground, since he gets most of his material there anyway.
Images to help people visualize what his mandatory national service program would look like.
A fun quiz might be nice.
A list of his favorite things like:
Favorite Batman villain: Two Face
Favorite Chewing Gum: Doublemint
Favorite Star Trek Episode: Mirror, Mirror
Favorite Circus Freak: Chang & Eng Bunker
Favorite Simpsons characters: Sherri & Terri
Favorite Sitcom: The Patty Duke Show
Favorite part of a football game: the coin toss.
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!
posted by Harvey at 7:24:24 PM permalink HOME
IT'S NOT QUITE FINISHED YET, BUT IT'S GOING TO BE HOME
It's called Bad Example.
I've got a new MuNu blog, with a new name, which, thanks to a LOT of tireless effort from the Bartender (who did the major site design), and Pam of Pamibe
who busted her pretty little tushie whipping me up some gorgeous title
banners (they rotate randomly, so refresh a couple times).
I'm not moving yet. Bartender's doing some final tweaking. But do me a
favor - click over there, look around a little bit & see if
everything looks ok in whatever browser you're using. If not, please
say something. The Bartender can get it fixed, but only if he knows
posted by Harvey at 7:40:13 AM permalink HOME
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
GET MIXED UP IN OTHER PEOPLE'S ARGUMENTS
From the first time I saw the Olsen twins on Full House,
I thought Mary Ash & Kately (or whatever their names are) looked
like monkeys. Frankly, I think they've retained their simian aspect as
they've matured, and are still quite chimp-like to this day.
Beloved Wife disagrees. Beloved Wife liked Full House, too, so she's both biased and - obviously - dangerously insane.
So, help me out by giving your opinion in the comments:
Do the Olsen Twins look like monkeys? Yes or No.
(UPDATE 5-5-04 8am):
posted by Harvey at 11:35:04 PM permalink HOME
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to
miss you a good deal. So this letter is just really a squeal of pain.
It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are
accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I
shan't make you love me any more by giving myself away like this - But
oh my dear, I can't be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too
much for that.
posted by Harvey at 11:28:30 PM permalink HOME
Comic Strip Celebrity Deathmatch: Opus vs. Doonesbury.
posted by Harvey at 11:25:23 PM permalink HOME
Monday, May 03, 2004
IMAO T-SHIRT BABE ANNOUNCED
The results have been posted at IMAO.
I didn't vote for the winner, but you probably won't be surprised that everyone else did. You heard it first from Tommy Shaw.
Dare I reveal how I cast my ballots & why?
posted by Harvey at 10:54:29 PM permalink HOME
KING OF THE BLOGS
ROUND 1 RESULTS
are up at the King of the Blogs home page. In addition to my craptacular blathering, you'll find:
Belief Seeking Understanding's bonus fetish
Susie's "cut to the chase" numerical rankings
Pietro's eloquent & entertaining analysis of the entries
And a complete absense of Mr. Stuffy.
posted by Harvey at 10:47:26 PM permalink HOME
IRAQ VS. VIET NAM
A top 10 list from America's #1 pin-up girl. I'm partial to #2 myself:
John Kerry got two paper cuts and a stubbed toe last week, and hasn't received a single Purple Heart for his pain and anguish.
posted by Harvey at 9:34:31 PM permalink HOME
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
[notez bien: I'm stealing this one whole from Linus of Pepper of the Earth.
While I never actually put this one in Beloved Wife's little mailbox, I
really like it because it reminds me of Led Zeppelin's "Thank You",
which was the first song I ever dedicated to Beloved Wife - way back
when she had just become Beloved Girlfriend for the first time back in
Just Add Water
1 mountain (large)
1 ocean (immense)
2 lovers (uncertain)
Combine elements in prepared basin.
Mix until smooth.
Season to taste.
When the mountain refluxes
And only sand remains
Serving size: 2
Linus Gelber - 11/18/2002
posted by Harvey at 9:27:28 PM permalink HOME
Lynn of Reflections in d minor does some pondering on whether classical can (or even should) have broad popular appeal. I'm indifferent as to the size of classical musics audience, but I don't think it can ever be very large.
The joy of classical music is that it takes a certain amount of
intellectual effort to follow the melody and to take pleasure in the
little tricks the music performs as it progresses from beginning to
end. This means two things - you have to pay attention, and you have to
be smart enough to understand what's going on.
Stupid people, by their nature, are unable to follow the complex
musical theatrics of a classical piece, nor are they likely to enjoy
it, since it's "too much work".
Pop music, and I mean the hackneyed, unimaginative dreck that passes
for top 40 (lookin' YOUR way, Britney) has a skull-smashingly primitive
and regular drum beat, with occasional bits of something vaguely like a
musical instrument plinking out something almost like musical notes in
a random progression that can be called a melody, if you're very
generous with the definition. This kind of music takes no effort. It
clubs the listener over the head, and drags it by the hair back to it's
cave for a bit of quick, yet somehow satisfying, carnal knowledge. All
the listener has to do is lie back and think of England until it's
over. No mental effort need be expended.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. A little intellectual junk
food is the spice of life, but most people subsist on it. They're
barely aware anything else even exists, and their palates are too jaded
by the pure sugar rush to appreciate the subtle mix of spices that
classical has to offer. Or they would be, if they were born with any
intellectual taste buds at all.
But when you stop to consider that an average person isn't that bright,
and half the people are, by definition, dumber than that, and the first
30% or so above the half-way point aren't that far above (it's a bell
curve, you know), you begin to see that the musical playing field is
not level, the bats are corked, and classical music is out in far left
field with the sun in its eyes and Bartman in the stands.
Which is a shame, because it's good stuff. But until genetic
engineering eliminates stupidity from the human genome, Classical will
have a limited potential audience.
posted by Harvey at 9:19:17 PM permalink HOME
MILLION TIMES FORWARDED E-MAIL
HILLBILLY BOOT CAMP
LETTER FROM A FARM KID,
NOW AT SAN
DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT.
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope
you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working
for old man Minch by a mile.
Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of
the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in
bed till nearly 6a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.
Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some
things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash
to mix, wood to split, fire to
lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal,
eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak,
eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always
sit by the two city boys that live on
coffee. Their food plus yours holds
you till noon when you get fed again.
It's no wonder these city boys
can't walk much. We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says
are long walks to
harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him
different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home.
the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is
nice but awful flat.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a
lot. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors and colonels just
around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will
kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I
don't know why. The bulls-eye
is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't
move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you
do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even
load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they
call hand-to hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I
have to be real
careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like
fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in
except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him
once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6"
and 130 pounds,
and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and
Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come
Your loving daughter,
posted by Harvey at 9:14:17 PM permalink HOME
© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 9/10/2005; 5:04:16 PM.