A dear friend emailed me today asking about how one goes about encouraging kids with multiple, seemingly diverse interest. Specifically, she asked about my middle child who pursued a double major in Physics and Music. Schedule conflict resulting from the destruction of a tornado at his school forced him to accept a minor in music.
Some of my response might be of interest to other friends.
... We encouraged each of their interest independently; that is we encouraged the interest in music independently of the interest in science, etc.. When they moved in a direction we supported it; the further they moved the more support we provided; when they reduced interest, we generally reduced interest. Note however: when my daughter wanted to stop Gymnastics, we encourage her to stay long enough to: 1) fulfill her commitment to the team; and 2) to be sure about her decision – she was a member of the National Championship Group Team and was Individually ranked in the top ten. But once she decided, we all moved on. Our goals was to slightly lag their interest, but to help to always have possiblities. E.g.: we rented a piano, until the interest seemed sustained; we also once rented a sax for a month, the interest was not sustained. We did put up with a lot of fleeting interest, but a few stuck. We used Birthdays and Holidays and special family occassions to provide relevant presents. We ate out after performances to celebrate. Generally, when they asked for something that would help them further their ability we tried to provide it.
We specifically provided:
· opportunity for advanced lessons (for example when my middle child was leaving middle school, I was concerned that he would loose his interest in piano, so we got him a high quality, near professional electronic keyboard and hired a jazz instructor to teach him and his sister (5 years younger) how to play and compose jazz & what is now called hip hop); likewise we enrolled him in summer programs that emphasize science, computers, etc.. We were willing to buy him in science book he was willing to read.
· high quality materials and instruments; he not only had top notch musical instruments; he had his own microscope, electronic labs, chemistry sets, etc. (not all at once); we even put a 8 foot counter (as in kitchen counter) in his room for him to do his experiments on
· personal attention and encouragement; we attended and audio or video taped all of his performances and listened to them multiple times, showing them to anyone who would watch; we would sit an listen to him practice on occasion. I paid the kids to learn and record some of my favorite songs (e.g. fifteen years latter my daughter still plays Scarborough Fair, Lift Every Voice & Sing); I studied science to keep up with them so that I could discuss it with them (each of the kids). His mother and others, would listen and ask questions even though she did not always understand what he were talking about. I took them to science fiction movies that had content; and movies documentaries such as “Brief History of Time” by Steven Hawking.
Perhaps most importantly, we did not push, we facilitated and enabled; and rewarded effort and dedication. I took a lot of inspiration from Kahlil Gibran commentary on Children: “they are with you, yet they belong not to you” … give them your love … but not your thoughts; strive to be like them, … seek not to make them like you.
Ironically, they have all ended up very similar to each us; but yet different.
Click on the link for Kahlil Gibran's complete quote from the Prophet.
11:07:30 PM 
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