Sabbath Rest
Resting can be hard work.
For the past four weeks, I've been trying to take a break. A break from what? From writing, from work, from constantly trying to figure out what might be the next big thing I need to be working on. From the ridiculous unproductive pressure of wondering how to create a best-selling anything--book, film, play, novel. It's been almost nine years since I started this whole freelance thing, and I still don't really have the hang of it. Things have been up, things have been down, and many days over the past four weeks, my mind has continued to churn. Do I give it up? Go get a real job?
Which of course, brings up the whole notion of work, purpose, meaning, and the value of time spent doing a particular thing. In America, it's difficult to see past the question of annual income, but I have no desire to drop into the category of disgruntled artist who has to grouse because the public doesn't value his/her brilliant work. The market is what it is, and the work has to be created with it's place in the world in mind. All of which is to say that there's nothing new about the tension surrounding the various choices an artist has to make.
I just needed a break from it.
I heard last week that a favorite writer of mine is working on a book about acedia, which is something akin to sloth, but not exactly. Loss of meaning, depression, lack of energy to work, call it what you will, the condition is a spiritual reality, and not easily risen out of. A book about acedia by someone who struggles with it is understandably going slowly.
I confess I've neglected the Sabbath. Oh, I go to church on Sundays and all that, but rest? That is a concept far removed from me. There have been a few recent days where my soul has opened up and I've thought, "There might be something to this rest business, after all." Energy returning, ideas starting to bubble up, getting ready again to get to the work. God must know what he's talking about, knows we need the rest, the refreshment of a free mind.
Who knows where it all leads, but for now, I'm going to keep it up. Resting that is. Who was it that said,
"Don't just do something, sit there."
4:12:45 PM
