Tuesday, April 5, 2005

The Upside of Anger I went to see this Michael Binder film Saturday night with a couple of my colleagues from Willow Creek. A beautifully acted film starring Joan Allen and Kevin Costner, it is the story of a family's trauma following the sudden disappearance of the husband/father, and the journey the Mom and the four daughters make to pull their lives back together. Again, superbly acted, and strangely compelling. The Upside of Anger wants to be a wise little film, and is trying to say something deep about the journey through anger, the nature of our assumptions, and the consequencs of living under a sort of false premise. But in the end, as the credits were rolling, I had the distinct feeling that something was missing here, that a filmic sage had just purported to say something profound, and in reality, hadn't. One of my Willow friends argued that there was something in there about not pushing others away, but allowing ourselves to open up and welcome others, and I suppose that's good advice, and is certainly in the movie, but again, it didn't ring true for me. I can't really talk about it without giving spoilers away, so I leave it at this. The mending of a family is far more profound and miraculous than this film makes it out to be. The disappearing father has left four teenage girls behind, each with significant issues, each impacted by the loss of this man. But though each girl ended up having their share of difficulties, in truth, they all came out of it just fine, still beautiful, now wiser, now happier than before. The mother is wrecked by the loss of her husband, and much is made of her fury, haunted as she is by thought of her husband and his bimbo cavorting in Europe. The mother acts out her anger where and when she chooses, she fills up her emptiness with an affair that ends up being her salvation, being as "loving" as it is. All of this is wonderful and warm and fuzzy, and the fact that after all the truths have been told everything is all better, seems to me to be a terrible bit of advising. The psychological realities of these kinds of issues are far greater than this film makes them out to be, and while I believe in the need for honest expression of rage and anger, most of the time that expression is turned into weapon, and the Christ said put that aside. It truly seems like a film about hope, and the rebirth of a family. But if so, the means by which the rebirth happens is dubious. All my life I've wondered what the upside of anger might be, and though I suspect there is one, what this film delivers isn't it. 10:58:00 AM    comment []

No Glasses Last Friday morning, I was making final preparations for heading out the door to do a monologue for a weekend service at Willow Creek Community Church, and when the moment of departure came, I couldn't find my glasses. It's not that I'm blind particularly, but be the older gentleman that I am, my ocular skills are definitely on the decrease. Blurry is the best that can be said. But there was no coming up with them in those frantic five minutes, so off I flew. Fortunately, the consequences were relatively minor. Other than a constant feeling of nakedness, and the occasional lack of depth perception in night driving ("no need to be nervous here, I'm pretty sure the driveway to the hotel is right...right...right here.") I assumed the spectacles would show up while I was gone, but sure enough, they didn't. I don't have any great spiritual or artistic insight as a result of these past five days of blindness, except that in moments when my ability to see is distinctly impaired, life does not sit around and wait. We move forward or we don't. If I'd waited to catch the plane before I had my eyesight all put together, I'd still be waiting. Find what you want in that little story, but it has something to do with annoyance, faith, and going to the grocery store even when it's hard to make out what you're buying. 10:30:25 AM    comment []

© Copyright 2005 Jeff Berryman .